Are men hard-wired to ignore their wives?

[overlander63]

Originally Posted by 85MH325

Even I, with my limited knowledge of the fairer sex, am not so stupid as to do that my friend!

Roger

There are so many ways the concept could go in a very bad direction if it were attempted... Just the word "easy" can get us all in more trouble than we could dig ourselves out with, even using a payloader.

[Moonstruck]

Blast!!

[Moonstruck]

Even the kindest interpretation of that statement is going to have you shovelling **** uphill until you have all the dials back in the right place!

[azflycaster]

I don't see any wires....

[Zeppelinium]

Originally Posted by 85MH325

Like this?

no, you numbskull, the other panel! I mean, I've heard it said that men ARE the easy button incarnate, but I wouldn't know much about that, what being a geek, a mama's boy, and somewhat fond of airplanes.

Why are airplanes not like women?

Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplanes
Airplanes don't mind if you read airplane magazines
Airplanes are always ready
etc.
...
So, Zeek says to Bubba "I think I'm going to have to leave my wife. She hasn't talked to me for 6 months."
waitforit....
Bubba repies, "Be careful Zeek, dem kind is hard to find."

Zep

[rickandsandi]

Now, now, we all know the real truth to the matter;




Men are actually from Mars and it has been documented!

[Poprivet]

Originally Posted by pattyo

Mistral Blue, perfect! Now I know why my spouse and I get along, we always have wine!

If your in Maine, you better get along. Let it snow - let it snow - let it snow.

[Jim & Susan]

Originally Posted by mistral blue

The Hormone Hostage......Here, have some more wine.

My family consists of: one wife, three daughters, 2 female cats. Yep, I'm the only guy. I see to it that we ALWAYS have plenty of adult beverages nearby.

Jim (NOT Susan)

[Sky]

Originally Posted by Jim & Susan

My family consists of: one wife, three daughters, 2 female cats. Yep, I'm the only guy. I see to it that we ALWAYS have plenty of adult beverages nearby.

Jim (NOT Susan)

For them or for you

[Jim & Susan]

Originally Posted by Sky

For them or for you

Yes.

[Chuck]

Originally Posted by Zeppelinium

Why are airplanes not like women?

Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplanes
Airplanes don't mind if you read airplane magazines
Airplanes are always ready

Airplanes actually LIKE to be tied down...

touch-n-goes are usually approved....

[rickandsandi]

Originally Posted by chuck

Airplanes actually LIKE to be tied down...

touch-n-goes are usually approved....

And Chuck- don't forget about all those missils!

[Silvertwinkie]

Originally Posted by Jim & Susan

Yes.

Great reply Jim....

Here's the question my buddy's ex-wife asked and his response, prior to filing for divorce:

Wife: "Why do you drink so much?"

Buddy:"Well honey for several reasons. First, because it takes the edge off. Second, because the more I drink the less I hear you and lastly, third, to forget that I'm actually married...then I wake up and the first thing I see is you and I gotta start all over again!"

Keep in mind this is the same guy who T-Boned a small Hyundai with a big 1980s station wagon in the middle of the night, and left his information so the owner could contact him. The note read:

"Sorry to have wrecked your car, here is my contact info so we can work it out."

[scottanlily]

I had no time for the forums last night ,feb 14 valentines day ,why ? well
I bought some roses and candy for Lily and cooked up some steaks ,while
she took a relaxing bath I had prepared with candles and her favorite
CD playing (Notting Hill )from the movie ,and the kids cleaned up around the
house .The meal was great ,kids off to there rooms .Then we put on the
Josh Grobin CD and did some dancing in the living room ,then after a while
some quiet time alone ,and the rest is history .Love is good ,and the relationship can be also .funny thing about the media going to run a story
on men who can't help on valentines day or week ,typicle .

Scott

[Sky]

Originally Posted by scottanlily

I had no time for the forums last night ,feb 14 valentines day ,why ? well
I bought some roses and candy for Lily and ........

Scott

Just kidding. I have done the same, but will never admit it

Oh no, I just did.

[safari57]

I thought "gee, I'd better spruce myself up for my sweet baboo-ette and get a hair cut" for Valentine's and wow her, so I went to see my very friendly barber. As I'm sitting in the chair, and after watching several others with the same thought as I and about the same age, it occurred to me why our barber was so friendly. We are all easy money for him. Three or four snips of the scissors and five if he's got one with enough comb-over to actually reach the other side, and buzz around our necks to clean up the stuff that doesn't know the rest on top is long gone, and he's got another twenty bucks with tip in his pocket. He can crank through one at the very least every 5 minutes and could do it in even less time if he didn't have some guilt. Now I realize that he's getting even for, okay I was going to say twenty years ago but it's more likely thirty years ago, when we'd show up with real honest to goodness hair and actually have some concern about how it looked when we left. Some of us had curly hair that we wanted to either enhance, straighten or completely blow away depending on the individual and their dating or married status, others were and continue to be into the crew cut status and they were easy, and there were those who thought they just might break out of their day to day jobs and be a rock star some day so were looking for something to replicate the hot bands of the day. I guess we did make his life miserable back then.

So, anyways, I'm sitting there thinking about how my wife still has a full head of hair, it actually hasn't changed color yet but when it starts to if she chooses she can legally fix that one way or the other, and she comes home to a fuzzy bowling ball, and I'm thinking she must have really cared to stay stuck with me all this time with all my "unique" differentiators.

That caused me to rethink the "I'll just zip in and get her a card quickly from whatever Jim has sitting on the counter for us late guys" to something more in tune with our actual relationship which meant a flip through the cards in the card shelves which took almost half an hour of hmmm, this one is great but what will Jim at the counter think of me buying something so mushy and he'll tell the other guys, to if I get this one she'll think I just picked it up off the counter and didn't spend any time on this at all, to finally one that would pass muster both at the counter and at home.

I thought about chocolates but I know from past experiences that they'd end up sitting on the counter and I'd end up helping her eat them before they go stale and in the end I'd of eaten all but the first one she nibbled on to show me she thought they were nice, so they were out. I'm supposed to be on a diet so I can fit into clothes I wore 20 (okay, let's make it 10) years ago like she can so buying her/me chocolates was probably out. Dang! I really like turtles, and also those ones with cherries in them but oh well....

Flowers are nice but have you seen what they charge for them any time around Valentine's day? And they die and are gone in a short time. She's not into jewellery (yeah, I know, I got really lucky there - well, okay, she actually is but zircons are not on her list of things and diamonds aren't on mine so we won't even attempt to go there) so it was dinner for her.

Of course have you ever tried to make reservations at any restaurant that doesn't have arches out front on Valentine's day? Oh oh, better make something special at home. Do you realize how hard it is to find a microwave-able food item that is also an acceptable meal for a special event like Valentines dayand looks like you put an ounce of effort into making it? Thank the big guy for mirowave meat loaf and for me veggie burgers. She seemed happy and that's what counts right? Keep the lady smiling at your thoughtfulness.

Work was hell for her so she was beat when she got home. She was surprised to be able to see more of the bowling ball than she had in the morning but was polite enough to say it looked good without any further comment other than I noticed she did move around a bit so the glare off the light wasn't so quite so hard on her eyes when standing near me. I could see the humour in her eyes though. At least she didn't comment about how the barber is one of the wealthier men in town now adays and seems to have a lot more free time on his hands.

I was thinking of a nice romantic evening, what I wasn't planning on was bad sauce that I like and thus eating far too much of it even with her warning me that it's pretty rich for my system and of course I listened and I quit eating it as soon as it was all gone. Of course with me spending the rest of the evening brutally ill and thinking jeepers, didn't this happen last Valentines day too it wasn't quite the ending to Valentines day that I was hoping for. Oh yeah, and neither was the one before that as well? And maybe a bunch of the others before that one too. She must love me.

So today I'm thinking what a great Valentines day. The love of my life (the flesh and blood one, not the cars or Airstream) actually appreciated all my efforts yesterday and proved that true love conquers all our mistakes.

Take care and until next years Valentines day when I gotta remember no sauce, order the flowers a week in advance, and go somewhere else where I don't know the counter guy to get a card,

Barry

[juel]

Eldon Bishop

My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil.
(Paul Getty)


>>How to Make a Woman Happy
>>
>>
>>
>>It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
>>1. A friend
>>2. A companion
>>3. A lover
>>4. A brother
>>5. A father
>>6. A master
>>7. A chef
>>8. An electrician
>>9. A carpenter
>>10. A plumber
>>11. A mechanic
>>12. A decorator
>>13. A stylist
>>14. A sexologist
>>15. A gynecologist
>>16. A psychologist
>>17. A pest exterminator
>>18. A psychiatrist
>>19. A healer
>>20. A good listener
>>21. An organizer
>>22. A good father
>>23. Very clean
>>24. Sympathetic
>>25. Athletic
>>26. Warm
>>27. Attentive
>>28. Gallant
>>29. Intelligent
>>30. Funny
>>31. Creative
>>32. Tender
>>33. Strong
>>34. Understanding
>>35. Tolerant
>>36. Prudent
>>37. Ambitious
>>38. Capable
>>39. Courageous
>>40. Determined
>>41. True
>>42. Dependable
>>43. Passionate
>>44. Compassionate
>>
>>WITHOUT FORGETTIN G TO:
>>
>>45. Give her compliments regularly
>>46. Love shopping
>>47. Be honest
>>48. Be very rich
>>49. Not stress her out
>>50. Not look at other girls
>>
>>AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
>>
>>51. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
>>52. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
>>53. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
>>
>>IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
>>
>>54. Never to forget:
>>* birthdays
>>* anniversaries
>>* arrangements she makes


>> HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
>>
>>1. Show up naked
>>2. Bring food
>>

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[Melody Ranch]

I think I like Juel. Commom sense.....

[codybear]

Originally Posted by Goin camping

Unfortunately I have hearing loss.

Fortunately it is in the same range as my wife's voice.

Oh cruel fate.

I thought somehow my hubby had 'selective' or is it 'deselective' hearing

[Fyrzowt]

Originally Posted by codybear

I thought somehow my hubby had 'selective' or is it 'deselective' hearing

I'm told that most of us guys have it. IMO, it's not just guys though.
Then there's the issue of selective memory...
Dave