The Tacky Tourist Trap Hall of Shame

[Jim Flower]

Mother Webb's Steakhouse, Antigonish, Nova Scotia. Numerous signs along the highway have one drooling as he gets close. Google reviews for a description. Qualifies for a try. Trust the locals. Jim

[Gene]

Any "motel" made of teepees.

On the Alaska Highway there used to be numerous places that advertised the biggest, baddest, best cinnamon buns on the highway, in the world, in the universe. One also had a mosquito motif, though on our last trip in 2010 it looked pretty rundown. In three trips, we only give in once and split a bun. It was fine and although it was described as the best in the universe, it was about average for North America. I don't know how you could eat one and not have your teeth explode from excess sugar, but we watched a young (and large) couple each eat one at the next table.

Any trading post in the southwest that sells rubber tomahawks.

[Fly at Night]

Oh, what fun!

Jim, you mean the cafe that describes its onion rings as an "awesome emotional experience"?

Speaking of teepees, Alberta's Gopher Hole Museum is not to be missed!

It is also an "awesome spiritual experience."

[bobhaven]

I have to agree with the posters talking about South of the Border. Been there twice, and it is tacky paradise! Pigeon Forge is right up there in terms of tacky. My wife and I visited friends near there on our way home from purchasing our Airstream in May, and the highlight was the Hatfield and McCoy Dinner Theater! Growing up, we'd see signs on US 17 going to Savannah, Ga. for Chico's Monkey Farm- From the billboards, it sounded like it had a bit of everything- from alligators to monkeys (obviously), to chenille spreads. Sadly, it no longer exists. Gotta check these places out before they disappear.

[Gene]

Back around 1960 when I was in college in Pa., I used to take US 46 in NW NJ to see my girlfriend in Hackettstown. I used to pass a small, crudely done sign at the end of a driveway "See the Two Headed Calf". I never stopped. One reason was when my parents would take me to NE Pa. back in the early '50's, the same sign was there and if there really was a two headed calf, he or she was now a two headed cow or bull (if real).

Also to include are all sideshows at traveling carnivals. How many of them advertise 40 lb. rats? The bearded woman, the strip show (how far depending on the local community), the half man/half woman, a magic show, guess your weight or age, throw things at other things that will not fall over, and other things not exactly true. Some of the barkers are truly great at their jobs and offer a lesson in how to fool people over and over. I'm not sure if bumper cars qualify, but I do miss them, especially the time I was in one when a group of nuns decided to drive them around too—nuns, yes, nuns, in full habits. This was in the early 1970's at the Erie Co. Fair in upstate NY. It seemed some of the nuns did not know the purpose of bumper cars was to bump. I helped them understand and some seemed to get into the fun and others did not.

Stuckey's. When I traveled with my parents, my mother often wanted to stop at a Stuckey's to look at earrings and buy some candy. I can't remember if she bought any earrings, but I do remember the super-sugary candy. After the intestates were built, Stuckey's went into a long decline certainly increased by the homogenization of the brand when it was bought by Pet Foods. They are coming back in a different form and now have 115 stores, mostly or entirely in the south.

See Rock City! Back, again, in the 1950's, the signs (along with "Chew Mail Pouch Tobacco") were all over the south—a lot of barns got one side painted with those signs and a lot of birds got bird houses supplied by Rock City. It is on top of Lookout Mtn. outside of Chattanooga and is still open. It was kind of ok, but these places advertised for hundreds and hundreds of miles have to disappoint.

Florida sure has had it share of tacky tourist attractions. The Mystery House near St. Augustine was you would see a crooked house with everything distorted. The rooms were at different angles and the walls were different lengths. Everything was kind of wacky and this truly was loony to be inside of. It was opened in the 1050-s and dismantled in the '60's. My perpetually skeptical father actually wanted to see this and I suppose I did too—it should have gotten some sort of booby prize. As bad as that was, we did avoid Parrot Jungle, another place heavily advertised, but many years later I had a free pass and did see it. A lot of the birds were interesting and not at all as tacky as the crooked house.

I've been to some of the other places mentioned meaning I really have to improve my standards when we travel. I did manage to avoid the World's Largest Picnic Table in Bath, NY., but visited the World's Largest Ball of Twine in Cawker City, Kansas. There's another world's largest ball of twine in Minnesota, but I remain loyal to the Kansas one.

[DGJackson]

South of the Border - Retrieving my '73 from Wilmington, NC. Stopped there for Breakfast and late lunch. Make sure to stock up on Blenhiem Ginger Ale.

[Gene]

I went looking for the ice cave near Argentine Pass several decades ago. They were pretty popular in the 19th century, but I couldn't find them. The area is south of I-70 was the scene of mining long ago. The west side of the pass road long ago collapsed, though I think you could hike it. I was there in August about 40 years ago and it was snowing, so it was time to leave. Looked again a few years alter, but couldn't find anything but the pass "road". Some 19th century tourist attractions were pretty tacky too.

There is a long history of moderately interesting attractions being hyped to the max. Ausable Chasm in upstate NY was ok, but even when I was there as a child, I was not all that impressed. Howe Caverns is also in upstate NY and did not compare with other caves, but was a fun stop back in the mid '70's.

Niagara Falls is surrounded by tacky stuff on both sides of the border. Most is in Canada. The NY side was rundown the last time I was there about 15 years ago. Any place with a wax museum is suspect.

[Fly at Night]

Wow! This is great. We are venturing into the realm of vanquished pop culture.

I'm not sure if bumper cars qualify, but I do miss them, especially the time I was in one when a group of nuns decided to drive them around too—nuns, yes, nuns, in full habits. This was in the early 1970's at the Erie Co. Fair in upstate NY. It seemed some of the nuns did not know the purpose of bumper cars was to bump. I helped them understand and some seemed to get into the fun and others did not.
Gene, I know all about nuns and amusement parks. They love them!
See 3:23 on...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_9F_25Rne0

Gene also mentioned how tacky most carnivals were. Most of them had those midway girlie shows. Vancouver's Pacific National Exhibition had the girlie gig for years. I'm sure they always used the same opening. A rather seedy-looking male character would emerge from behind the curtain and would make this announcement: "Direct from Chicago -- where the Chicago PD closed up down...."

As a kid, I was always darn curious as to what went on behind those curtains!
(I was around too many of those nuns, I guess).

[malinois38]

Can’t believe nobody has mentioned this yet..............

WALL DRUG!

[John&Vicki]

Great thread! I absolutely *love* tacky stuff. Keep it up, I’m starting to build an itinerary. To me kitsch is too sophisticated, I like true tacky.

Cheers,
John

[kb0zke]

Haven't been there in years, but Ole's in Paxton, NE might qualify. Many stuffed animals, including a large jackalope. Food was pretty good then.


Harold Warp's Pioneer Village in Mindon, NE might also qualify. It has a lot of what used to be everyday items. As I recall there was a pretty decent car collection.


Speaking of cars, in NW NE, near Alliance, there is Carhenge. Yes, someone used old cars, spray-painted off white, to more or less duplicate Stonehenge. To make it harder for the vandals, the glass is covered over with some sheet metal. The sad part was that I remembered most of those cars when they were new. Guess I'm getting old.

[Fly at Night]

Originally Posted by malinois38

Can’t believe nobody has mentioned this yet..............

WALL DRUG!

Ha, ha! What a place.

Just thought of another one. Not really a tourist trap, but there might be one roadside attraction out there featuring same: Any piece of "art" made out of human hair. The worse case being a ceramic horse with human hair glued on for a mane and tail which was proudly displayed in a barber-shop window in New Westminister, B.C. Ugh!

[brad1]

The entire fake Bavarian town of Leavenworth, Washington should get a major Tacky award.

[mojo]

The Largest Ball of Twine, Cawker, KS and The Thing, I-10 in AZ

[OriginalMrT]

Found in Nebraska

[greghoro]

A visit to RoadsideAmerica.com is your go-to place for planning side trips for your next journey.

Advertised as “Your Online Guide to Offbeat Tourist Attractions”, it has a search feature by topic (human hair, Paul Bunyan, jackalope, etc) as well as by town and state.

They even have a phone app so you can do a quick check when you pass that Walleye fish statue to see if it is equipped with a ladder and saddle for a unique photo op.

Greg

[Gene]

I see the ball of twine has flattened at the bottom since 1976 and now has a roof. We have a friend who is from Cawker City and moved back there a couple of years ago. I can’t imagine why he would forsake Colorado for Kansas since most people from Kansas come this way and stay.

Paul Bunyon and the Blue Ox, Babe show up in lots of places across the northern states and California as far east as Bemidji, Minnesota. I am sure I misspelled the town, but Bemidji has the most famous Paul and Babe display. They have two large concrete statues in a small park by a large lake—the more commercialized ones west of there are much more tacky.

Hole in the Rock. South of Moab, Utah, someone made rooms in a rock face and created a house starting more than a century ago. Later the house and a gift shop and general tourist stuff took over. One of our friends did many sculptures there including a fake Jeep made out of everything from license plates to any prices of metal he found. I guess because we’ve known Lyle Nichols since before he was famous, we’ve never stopped.

How about tacky towns? It takes years of dedication of create an entire tacky town. Some come to mind—
Glitter Gulch outside of Denali NP
Gatlinburg, Tenn. A big fire a couple of years ago may have improved it.
Niagara Falls, Ontario. The provincial park is very nice, but the town has been corrupted.
Key West’s downtown

I think there are many people who think all these places are quite nice and normal and there’s something wrong with us.

[Gene]

The NY Times has joined us: https://nyti.ms/2H5TG6u

They mention Goats on the Roof. West on Nanaimo on Vancouver Is. is another such goated tourist trap. When we were there several years ago there were one or two goats one one roof and after about a minute, the question is "what else ya got?" They had some shops, a tourist style restaurant and some more shops. I had gotten food poisoning and we stayed in Nanaimo for five days, so I was anxious for anything and goats seemed to be just right. Nothing bad about Nanaimo, just staying in one place got to me after while.

[Fly at Night]

Niagara Falls - the second biggest disappointment of married life. - Oscar Wilde

[Jim Flower]

Originally Posted by Fly at Night

Niagara Falls - the second biggest disappointment of married life. - Oscar Wilde

Hi FAN
May have been biased!!
Jim