Pet Grief

[Fly at Night]

My beloved beagle was put to sleep yesterday. She was diagnosed with leukemia three months previously. The vet said there was little he could do. Chemotherapy might have prolonged her life, but at what cost? Dogs do not handle chemo well.

So, I was handling her death as best I could. Certainly better than the death of my first beagle.

About an hour ago I had a terrible thought. I burst out into tears, the heart started palpating and I couldn't catch my breath.

This was my thought:

Last week I knew the beagle was going downhill fast, but she was still drinking water, could eat a little bit, and had no mobility problems. So, I took her to one of her favourite spots - a local creek. The walk to the creek was about a block there and back.

She walked slowly behind me. Even though her vision and hearing had deteriorated, she knew where she was. We got to the creek and she had her usual little wade-in, then drinked a bit of water. We then walked slowly back to the parking lot. She seemed happy. That made me happy.

However, the next morning she was walking like she was drunk.

The next day she could not walk.

Then the next day she could barely stand.

From then on I had to carry her to bed and outside to do her business. By this time she had stopped eating and drinking.

That last walk to the creek was a nice thing to remember, or so I thought.

Even though the vet said she was riddled with cancer and he was surprised she lasted as long as she did, I am now experiencing terrible guilt over walking her to her creek. Why didn't I carry her part of the way? Did this finish her off?

Am taking this really really bad.

[PKI]

Your puppy was likely much happier on that walk then she would have been hanging out on her bed. The smells, the water, being out with you were all good for her. I think you gave her a gift. We outlive way too many of our pets. It is not easy, but you gave her the best you could. Time will help. Condolences for your loss. Pat

[dennis3751]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I think you gave her a great memory of a favorite place before she passed. Sort of like a mini bucket list.

Dennis

[batman]

So very sorry for your loss.
I think she loved her walk, you and she will have that beautiful memory until you meet again. It was her time.
For me, losing a beloved pet is second only to losing a child.
The last time, I was able to hold my "grace" in my arms as she left us. It is the hardest thing I have ever done. I feel your pain. I hope we see them again just this side of the rainbow bridge.

JUST A DOG

From time to time, people tell me, "lighten up, it's just a dog,"
or "that's a lot of money for just a dog."

They don't understand the distance travelled, the time spent,
or the costs involved for "just a dog."

Some of my proudest moments have come about with "just a dog."

Many hours have passed and my only company was "just a dog,"
but I did not once feel slighted.

Some of my saddest moments have been brought aobut by
"just a dog," and in those days of darkness, the gentle touch
of "just a dog" gave me comfort and reason to overcome the day.

If you, too, think it's "just a dog," then you probably understand
phrases like "just a friend," "just a sunrise," or "just a promise."

"Just a dog" brings into my life the very essence of friendship,
trust, and pure unbridled joy.
"Just a dog" brings out the compassion and patience
that make me a better person.
Because of "just a dog" I will rise early, take long walks and look
longingly to the future.

So for me and folks like me, it's not "just a dog"
but an embodiment of all the hopes and dreams of the future,
the fond memories of the past, and the pure joy of the moment.

"Just a dog" brings out what's good in me and diverts my thoughts
away from myself and the worries of the day.

I hope that someday they can understand that its' not "just a dog"
but the thing that gives me humanity and keeps me from being
"just a man" or "just a woman."

So the next time you hear the phrase "just a dog,"
just smile,
because they "just don't understand."

~Unknown Author~

[rmkrum]

FaN,

I understand your loss.

But please keep in mind that all our dogs are much happier doing things with us. Right now my eldest doggie (Chocolate) is simply sleeping on the arm of the chair, right next to me. It's a little too warm for her to lie on my lap right now. She is so old I have to help her up there, but she settles comfortably and is snoring lightly right now. She is content. I'm quite sure your dog was also quite content to go to the creek with you. It was something you two had done before, and I don't doubt gave her joy.

I lost a dog to cancer way too young, many years ago. Quinn struggled to keep up with his family at times, but he was happy to be with us even when he was sick. The end came very quickly and was devastating to us. We still mourn him, but we also have rescued other dogs to fill our happy little pack.

You need time to grieve, but I assure you that you can find love in your heart for another dog when the time is right. Don't be afraid to rescue another doggie--or have a dog rescue you. I'm never quite sure who rescues who...

By the way, Chocolate, like Quinn, and all my other pups are rescues. She was Quinn's best buddy, and is 'mom' to our other dogs. It's hard to remember that they have such shorter lives than us, but can give so much love.....


Sent from my pocket Internet using Airstream Forums

[bugsbunny]

My pet went the same way. He seemed fine one day, laying in the yard at my feet and the next couple of days he had symptoms like your baby. Dogs know when it is time.

I am so sorry for your loss of your great friend.

[paiceman]

Fly at Night: Take your guilt and put in on a back shelf someplace where you no longer need to visit it. I am sorry for your loss. As some know on here I train and rehabilitate dogs, we loose dogs in our rescue do to illness and abuse so severe they simply cannot make it. Some pass on their own, most are put down by one of our contract vets. So, I can say with confidence:

You did not cause your dog any harm or speed up her passing. If she could not have walked she would not have walked - period. I've seen this many times, when they cannot do something, they may attempt it, but cannot do it they don't. She spent some final quality time with you, "her pack" and now she is out of pain. Their tolerance for pain is far beyond what we can imagine and to them it just is, what is important is being with their pack-you.

Just to ease your mind a little further, I hope, your Vet was correct, dogs do not take Chemo well and if older I have not and will not put them through it just to keep them a little longer for my benefit.

Based on what you posted it's my opinion you did everything for her, did it well and when it got to much helped her along to the other side. The Onieda Indians call it Kaluhyat (The other side).

God Bless

[Lily&Me]

So sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved pooch, FaN. So hard.

We lost a dog to cancer, too, and when the end was near, she deteriorated very, very quickly. If yours couldn't have done the walk, she would have just laid down and refused.

Taking her to a special place was a good thing to do...a happy place for her, and a sweet memory for you.

You were together, so it was good for her.

Take care,


Maggie

[rodsterinfl]

A pet, I believe derives their purpose from the owner. They want to be with you wherever that is. Your beagle was with you and that is what matters. Think on the good times and the life shared- not the shorter details of the end.

[Tn Traveler]

Your beagle lasted far longer than the normal estimates because of one reason----you and the love you gave in return. Your pet lasted because it did not want to leave you. The walk was better that lying around waiting. It was a nice diversion for both of you. You didn't have anything to do with the death. Leukemia did that.

[OTRA15]

Originally Posted by bugsbunny

. . .
Dogs know when it is time.
. . .

A nice perspective . . .

Sorry for everyone's losses . . .

" Woof Woof !!! "

[streaminwild]

Fan so sorry. Don't question your love for your beagle. She had the best life. The decision of putting our pets down to avoid the pain and suffering, shows the compassion we have for them. If we could only do the same for the terminally ill in this country. When you are ready, visit the animal shelter and save another life. You'll be surprised on who saved who. They know what you did for them and return the favor, by running off with your slipper when you need it most. The more you smile the more they run. They aren't stupid, they can read us like a book. Your dog knew the feelings you had for her.. Sometimes I wonder if God is watching us through the eyes of animals. No doubt you got the thumbs up.

[AStreamNerds]

I started this thread reading from the top and after a few posts I could not see the letters clearly because of tears. I hate that our hairy babies don't last longer than they do. I am very sorry for your loss but like everyone else has said don't feel guilty spending quality time with your girl - if she couldn't walk that much she would of just stopped and you would of been able to tell she couldn't and you would of carried her.

She got to experience one of her favorite places one last time which is something wonderful you should always remember instead of feeling guilty about it.

[nrgtrakr]

Took your doggy to its favorite place towards the end of its life? You're awesome!
The inconvenient truth about this life is that none of us will get out alive, we all die eventually.
I think if from a place of love, compassion and respect, we do unto others as we would have them do unto us, we have probably lived an okay life with no need for regrets.

[RangerJay]

I've never known any dog who's ears didn't perk up, tail goes up and entire posture changes to show excitement when the word "walk" or "drive" is directed at them or even part of the general conversation with someone else. Happens every time - no matter how old they are or how much they are hurting. That walk was exactly the right thing to do - for you and for her.

So sorry for your loss.


Jay

[J. Morgan]

The guilt is because you miss your dog. Looking back in shoulda, coulda, woulda, mode will always highlight things we think we might have done better or differently.

It sounds to me like you provided a wonderful home for your friend. Let that be enough as he lives in your memories.


Brevi tempore!

[AtomicNo13]

I've lost many dogs..... All very special. We lost a very old boxer about a year ago. I had been carrying him out to go for nearly 3 years. I still miss him every day!
Life goes on, but having them makes it better!

Enjoy the memories of the happy times..... Lots if dogs need forever homes!

[ROBERT CROSS]

FaN,

"Fado" sends his Love & understanding....as I dry a tear.


Bob

[cwf]

We think dogs do not comprehend time well. Yet their spirits soar when near us... Just as our spirits soar when seeking the owner of our soul...

Anything we have let into the sacred space of our heart... Changes us.... Improves us.. Helps us seek and attain that which we never knew or perhaps thought possible ....

What is it about humans that we risk such dear loss? We know....

[J. Morgan]

Originally Posted by cwf

We think dogs do not comprehend time well. Yet their spirits soar when near us... Just as our spirits soar when seeking the owner of our soul...



Anything we have let into the sacred space of our heart... Changes us.... Improves us.. Helps us seek and attain that which we never knew or perhaps thought possible ....



What is it about humans that we risk such dear loss? We know....

Amen.


Brevi tempore!