Hi, you need one of these 1J0972782, and two of these 000979228.
You can buy those part at your vw dealer for about 35$, you need to get the brake signal from your brake pedal, I I added a brake light switch to my brake pedal, around 10$ at my vw dealer and used the positive lead from your new connector to go through that switch (with the appropriate terminal) and then to your brake controller. You can not use the brake signal from the connector directly, that signal give you 3-4 volt when brake not used and 12 volts when brake pedal depressed. That 3-4 volts confuse the brake controller...
You can do like me and install an other brake switch (there was no switch there, but the bracket was to hold it was there) or use a 12 volts relay to interface with the pedal switch.
I have a 2010 tdi and just did that, it is not a straight forward job, but once you figured it, it is pretty easy.
I tow a 1998 25 feets safari with the Touareg...
It is a wonderful tow vehicule, I average 17 mpg... I just did 1600 miles from Montreal, qc to Florida...
You need to keep your thong weight under 700 lb... I am at 600 lb and using a Hensley arrow.
Ask if you need more detail!