How To Take A Shower In Your RV:

[firstwave]

From facebook with permission to share.


So, I got a pretty good job, lost my mind, bought a RV and moved across the state to the land that God forgot, West Texas. I've never owned a RV, camped in a RV, or had anything to do with RVs. Now I live in one. I've had a lot of help and tips from friends and family on getting fixed up in the RV but some things you have to learn for yourself. The following is a guide I wrote from some personal experiences...

Step 1: Turn on water at the facet and get it just right, turn off water at shower head.
Step 2: Get in shower
Step 3: Turn on water to wet yourself down.
Step 4: Scream and try frantically to turn the scalding hot water down.
Step 5: Finish wetting down and turn water off at shower head.
Step 6: Put towel around self and answer the door. Insure neighbor there are no little girls screaming in your RV.
Step 7: Get back in shower.
Step 8: Shampoo hair and start to soap up body.
Step 9: Turn on shower head to get soap out of your eyes.
Step 10: Scream and try frantically to turn the scalding hot water down, again.
Step 11: Soap up body.
(Forget trying to get to your calves and feet, unless you're a graduate of Betty Lou's School for Contortionists. If you drop the soap, you're not getting it back. The shower is just too small.)
Step 12: Put towel around self, again and answer the door, again. Tell neighbor he cannot search your RV.
Step 13: Get back in shower.
Step 14: Scream, curse and slap the shower head to get the lava to stop burning you alive.
Step 15: Rinse off all soap and shampoo
Step 16: Briefly enjoy the perfect temperature water.
Step 17: Scream, dance and try to fend off the water someone suddenly started pumping from Antartica to your RV.
Step 18: Fall out of shower trying keep from freezing like the bad guy in Terminator 2
Step 19: Get up turn off water.
Step 20: Put towel around self. Answer the door. Allow police officer to search the RV for screaming girl.
Step 21: Dry off. Get dressed and repeat daily.
Transport and Set Up of Your RV:
Step 1: Hook RV up to your truck. Remember to hook up turn signal/ battery charger, sway bars, chains, and emergency brake to truck.
Step 2: Pick up all outside chairs, floor mats, grills, ect... try to fit them somewhere in the RV
Step 3: Wish for a bigger RV
Step 4: Make sure slide out is in (If Applicable) and all inside furniture, dishes, and other object are ready for transport.
Step 5: Walk around RV looking for any open compartments, hoses, cables, ect
Step 6: Check tires on truck and RV. Fuel in the truck, ect...
(You are now ready to get on the road with your RV.)
Step 7: Leave for the RV park on the windiest day of the year. Extra Points if there is a tornado warning in effect.
Step 8: After going 50 miles down the road, pull over and lower the TV antenna on your RV
Step 9: Make sure you are driving into the wind. This effectively lowers your fuel usage to gallons per mile.
Step 10: Drive around a gas station 6 times.
Step 11: Try to line up the pump with your truck. Back up. Pull forward. Back up. Pull forward. Punch dash. Back up. Park.
Step 12: Buy 5 gallon fuel can. Fill it up. Pour it in your truck. Repeat until truck is full. Ignore laughing crowd.
Step 13: Wish for smaller RV
Step 14: Get to the RV park 4 hours later than planned. It's now dark
Step 15: Find the best spot available.
Step 16: Try to back your RV into the spot. Give up after 6 tries, or when you draw a crowd of 10 or more people watching you.
Step 17: Find a spot you can back into. Get it within 4 tries.
Step 18: Unhook the RV and all cables from the truck
Step 19: Get heart rate back down to normal after RV coasted back 10 inches.
Step 20: PUT IN WHEEL CHOCKS!
Step 21: Level RV using the level on the side of the RV
Step 22: Go inside. Pull out all outside chairs, floor mats, grills, ect...
Step 23: Go back outside, try to level the RV again. Ignore the level on the side of the RV
Step 24: Go inside. Pick up all furniture, dishes, other objects that some tornado threw around inside the RV.
Step 25: Storm back out, walk away from the RV 50 feet, walk back, level the RV, walk 50 feet away, walk back, level... repeat 4 times until RV is level
Step 26: Politely decline the beer the drunk next door offers you
Step 27: Raise TV antenna
Step 28: Hook up Waste hose to RV. Try to pull sewer cap off. Bang it with a rock until you can turn it with your hand.
Step 29: Gag
Step 30: Smile and wave to the neighbor who chose that moment to dump his waste down the sewer. Hook up hose to sewer.
Step 31: Hook up fresh water hose. Turn it on. Turn it off. Get a towel and dry off. Tighten connections. Turn it on. Repeat 3 times.
Step 32: Try to plug in electrical cord.
Step 33: Yell, Throw rocks, Kick Trees
Step 34: Walk through the whole RV park looking for a 30 watt connection. Find one on the other side of the park.
Step 35: Ask the drunk for a beer. Chug it.
Step 36: Pack everything up. Unhook everything. Hook RV to truck.
Step 37: Pull RV over to 30 watt spot.
Step 38: Thank drunk for climbing in the tree to get your antenna. Throw it in the back of the truck. TV's overrated.
Step 39: Hook everything back up, Pull everything back out. Pick up the dishes, furniture, and other objects, again.
Step 40: Thank the new neighbor for informing you the park had 50 watt to 30 watt adapters.
Step 41: Find the drunk. Get another beer. Chug it.
Step 42: Level the RV
Step 43: Level the RV again.
Step 44: Give up. Go to bed.
Emptying The Waste Tanks On Your RV:
Step 1: Check waste hose to insure no holes or kinks
Step 2: Check to make sure waste hose is securely attached to the waste nozzle and sewer drain.
Step 3: Get on your hands and knees with your head beside the waste nozzle as that is the only way to reach the pull valves.
Step 4: Turn face away from waste nozzle and open the Black Tank valve.
Step 5: Jiggle the valve
Step 6: Tap on the waste nozzle.
Step 7: Go into the RV bathroom to see why nothing is flowing.
Step 8: Open toilet
Step 9: Gag
Step 10: Stick Broom handle down the toilet and stir.
Step 11: THROW AWAY BROOM
Step 12: Get down on hands and knees and tap on the waste nozzle.
Step 13: Close Black Tank valve. Throw up. Curse. Yell. Throw up.
Step 14: Strip and wash all the waste off of you with a water hose.
Step 15: Throw up, again
Step 16: Patch the hole in the waste hose with duct tape. USE THE WHOLE ROLL.
Step 17: Insure the neighbor you are ok. Go put some clothes on.
Step 18: Get down on your hands and knees again. Open Black Tank Valve
Step 19: Wait for all the waste to go through the hose to the sewer. Close valve when empty.
Step 20: Open Grey Tank Valve.
Step 21: Run to sewer end of hose and try to stop it from spraying everywhere.
Step 22: Run to Grey Tank valve. Turn it off.
Step 23: Strip and wash off with a water hose, again.
Step 24: Ignore the grandma next door checking you out. Get dressed, again.
Step 25: Stack rocks on and around sewer end of waste hose
Step 26: Open Grey Tank valve.
Step 27: Wait for all the waste water to go through the hose to sewer. Close valve when empty.
Step 28: Go inside and take a shower. Use lots of soap.

[J. Morgan]

I often skim long posts, this one made me read it all.

[Foiled Again]

Good sense of humor, made me laugh. There ARE days like that. Hope it was someone ELSE's Facebook story though.

But seriously anyone who is getting scalded like that in the shower, needs to clean or replace your mixer valve. Also, if you have full hookups, don't bother with the G.I. shower, get the water right, get in and you've got 8 minutes to shower in comfort. I do recommend replacing the original shower head with an Oxygenics shower head. It reduces flow without making you feel like you're only getting droplets of water.

Paula

[rmkrum]

Can identify with some of the issues. Fixed hot water by going to a tankless ($$$$) after first trip with scald/freeze syndrome reported by wife......

Yes, the money was well worth it....


Sent from my pocket Internet using Airstream Forums

[horseylady]

Ditto on usually skimming long posts but read every word. Can identify with most after 40+ years. Also, on Oxygenics--makes a huge difference. Huge difference!

Pam

[sherrylynne]

OK...so I have been boo-hooing all day because my first-born son got a great job, but it is 3000 miles away...I should be happy, right?
Well, NOTHING got me out of my pity-party until I read this...THANK YOU...
HILARIOUS!!!
You never know how your words might help somebody! thankyouthankyouthan
kyou!!

[sbeckett]

Curious as to what part of west Texas you ended up in?

[Protagonist]

Originally Posted by sbeckett

Curious as to what part of west Texas you ended up in?

I'm kind of partial to the Texas panhandle myself, the part of Texas where you can't grow anything but wind turbines, and those are sprouting like weeds.

[Seemore2006]

This story needs warning: Caution you will need shower cuz you're going to pee your pants laughing your tushie off !!!!

[Murphalex]

I laughed until I cried! Really needed that today. Thanks

[larryglarson]

Thank You for the laugh. I was new at all this 5 years ago and can relate, hard to believe how much better it gets with time.

[GCinSC2]

Needs to be in a book with that story about the guy loosing his teeth in the black tank. I think a boat ramp and lots of onlookers were involved IIRC.

Good laughs.

[mocus]

That wouldn't be so funny if it wasn't so darned true....we haven't had a laugh like that in years, fella.

[Jim & Susan]

That was a scream! Thanks for posting.

Jim

[Argosy 7728]

Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. That was a good one.

[Adiredneck]

Well played, sir! Very funny...

[pond]

Better than planking excersises! Couldn't stop laughing. Know the storyHahahahahahaha

[Boxcardawg]

Sitting here at my "Casa" in Mexico nursing a very painful back and have re-injured myself laughing so hard at your "experiences"! Thanks for a very enjoyable morning! This needs to be published in Airstream Life for all to enjoy!

[tvketchum]

A smart person learns from their experience. A wise person learns from the unfortunate experience of the smart person.....


Tom
Sent from my iPad using Airstream Forums

[ColoradoLady]

First wave, thanks for a VERY HILARIOUS STORY! We can all relate....all too real, for I'm sure we've all experienced the entire story, at one time or other! I laughed till I had tears down my face. (Then. Again when sharing it with my daughter.)
.wouldn't you love to see that on video...think AMERICAS FUNNIEST VIDEOS! He would win the big prize for sure!