A Different Life II

[Lily&Me]

I’ve had a busy week and somewhat difficult past few days, dealing with a healthcare issue…nothing serious physically, but the multiple layers between a patient and their physician these days proved to be extraordinarily challenging.

I had just seen my PCP, who I trust and am very comfortable with, but getting to him about this relatively small but important issue was really, really difficult.

Oh, for the days of the family doctor and maybe his office nurse.

Nurses and call center staff these days can consider themselves first and foremost the minders of “protocol” and their “system”, intercepting and turning back messages to one’s trusted physician.

However, I know unreasonable when I see it…and am also unafraid of going around and above when necessary … so I got what I needed done, but it took a small earthquake to do it.

So, I have felt more than a bit out of sorts, like I’ve been dealing with a pack of adolescent, girl-bullies, and not slept well for several nights, but got up this morning and decided I needed to snap out of it.

What to do to lift my mood and change my rather grumpy-feeling self?

Crank the radio up, clean the little house and do the laundry.

Nothing like doing chores that produce immediate results, while singing along with the radio, to pull one’s brain out of a funk.

One of the biggest adjustments to widowhood has been losing that person you can and do share anything with, vent about this, that and whomever, bounce things off of, etc.

There are friends, of course, but none here, in my house, next to me…every day, all day, and every night, all night.

It is a HUGE adjustment, suddenly becoming one’s own primary caregiver, all the time.

It has brought some changes to my life, as some people, places and things are just more than I want to try to handle by myself…so, I don’t.

I’m better at drawing those lines than I used to be, when I was always a part of we, and took on/tolerated more.

Sigh. Life.


On a positive note, this little one-cup Oxo coffee maker for the Interstate arrived the other day, and I have been using it for the mid-day cup that keeps me from falling asleep early evening.

Uses a #2 cone filter, inexpensive, won’t take up much space out there, and makes a very good cup of coffee.

I tend to drink instant when traveling and without electricity, but using my half-caff blend with this gives a better cup of coffee and keeps my caffeine level down…very important, for me.

[Hittenstiehl]

Empathize with you.

Had to download a medical app, to fill out a form before a routine teeth cleaning and now need to check-in via evite (something similar) before heading to the next appointment. Jeepers

My elderly mother drives the various receptionists crazy when she tells them she has no cell phone, email or computer. They claim they texted her and she say's no you didn't.

[Lily&Me]

Yep, I check in electronically with most every provider anymore, and they use every contact method you have…cell phone, landline, email…to remind you of your upcoming appointments.

Tho I NEVER no-show for appointments, nor am I late, but no matter, they love to connect repeatedly, just because they can.

One of the problems with my PCP is that they are a huge network, this is a business, first and foremost, which dictates much, and nurses at call centers who never actually do patient care are handling prescription refills…or not…answering messaged questions…or not…etc.

You can opt to message your physician but they go thru the call center nurses, first, who send them on to the physician…or not.

Very frustrating, and a mess in terms of patient care, in my opinion.

Oh, for the days of Dr. Aplington, who delivered us, took out our tonsils, set broken limbs, and visited us in our homes for surgical follow up and when we were ill.

I’ve said this before, but will say it again…we all need a trusted person appointed as medical case manager, to look out for our care if we are unable to do so.

It’s a jungle out there.

Maggie

[Lily&Me]

My sweet son grilled steaks for Mothers Day yesterday, bless his little heart, and somewhere Doug was smiling and nodding his head...as that’s what he would have done.

Before I headed over there, I had pursued weeds/grasses in the beds around the house, rearranged part of my rock borders, scrubbed my front porch with Dawn, and brushed dry carpet cleaner into the big rug in my “sitting area” that used to be the dining part of my kitchen.

This morning I vacuumed that rug, moved everything in the sitting room plus kitchen/laundry appliances and vacuumed, washed the kitchen rugs and then steam cleaned the ceramic tile.

Tomorrow morning I’m going to empty, clean out and paint the wood stove, and then move the furniture in the two spare bedrooms for a little dusting and cleaning.

Weather has warmed up, the sun is shining, and I’m on a roll.

Good to have these things done, and the immediate gratification is very satisfying.


Early this morning, having completed a ColoGuard test …and if you haven’t done one of these lately, they are quite the involved process these days, but I’ll spare y’all the details…I’m trying to call the company to have this picked up, and the number provided in the return instructions first REQUIRES that one go thru an automated sales pitch for an emergency alert necklace.

You can’t opt out of it, nor press 0 to get a person, only disconnect the call and look for another way to reach UPS.

This is the second time in recent days that I have been held captive to an automated sales pitch in order to reach a system I had business with.

The other was trying to activate my new debit card, the peel off tag on said card taking me to a sales pitch I could not opt out of.

I finally called the Customer Service number on the back of the card, and got the task done.

How incredibly, incredibly annoying.


In and amongst spring choring this past weekend, I watched “The Ottoman Lieutenant” and “Midnight in Paris” on Netflix… both excellent, and left in My List to watch again.


My to-do list is shrinking, medical appointments are done for the spring, grandson is graduating from high school in a few weeks and then Lily & I will be heading out in the Interstate for summer travels.

I’m ready.

Maggie

[Lily&Me]

My wild geraniums are very happy…

[Lily&Me]

This is a really sweet, heartwarming story about British musician Ed Sheehan teaming up to make a music video with a Ukrainian band…who are currently fighting the Russians in the Ukraine.

https://www.spokesman.com/stories/20...-sheeran-whil/

The soldiers filmed their part in the field, with a GoPro, if I am correct.

Proceeds from the video go to help the war effort and citizens of the Ukraine.

I love it, and such a generous act by Ed Sheehan.

We have to take our moments of joy where we can find them.

Maggie

[Lily&Me]

I just finished “The Ship of Brides”, by JoJo Moyes, and it was excellent.

https://www.jojomoyes.com/books/the-ship-of-brides/

Historical fiction, based on real events, about war brides post-WWII, making their way to England and the husbands who awaited them.


We have gone to summer here, with temps in the low 90’s and high humidity, but for washing outside windows my spring choring is mostly done.

Have begun a staging area for items to go into the Interstate, and Lily is watching preparations with interest and anticipation.

Diesel prices are crazy high, all the more reason to stay off the major highways and keep speed down to improve mileage.

We’re going, period.

Maggie

[Lily&Me]

A couple of quotes from “The Ship of Brides”.

JoJo Moyes has a rather gentle way of writing, and with words, for lack of a better descriptor.

One of the central characters has left behind a very difficult life, which catches up with her onboard, as difficult lives often tend to do.

But, she stays her course, continues to survive and to work toward thriving.

[Lily&Me]

I don’t watch “American Idol”, but have followed the progress of Leah Marlene this season because she is a pretty darned amazing hometown girl, from Normal, Il…who has made it to the top 3.

Her alma mater high school had a “watch party” this last weekend, signs are everywhere and excitement is going thru the roof.

She is a very talented young woman, and because she is a finalist she returns to her hometown the week leading up…so this evening a little parade in our beautiful downtown Normal, a free outdoor concert, and hundreds if not thousands of locals will turn out in our town, to celebrate her success and cheer her on.

https://pantagraph.com/business/loca...96964740c.html

I don’t know her, but my son and his do as she goes to their church.

So if you want to watch something uplifting and inspiring, check out some of her American Idol performances online.


Carpet steamers were here this morning, and I had them also scrub and steam the hearth…where my little wood stove lives and works, and which I keep after but was in need of a really good scrub.

I would call it pristine, at this point.

Outside windows still to be washed, a few odds and ends, and I’m done.

Going to take Lily and make a run to the cemetery tomorrow, Camden-the-musician has a concert Thursday evening, I have company coming next week, then Caleb graduates and we head west immediately after his party.

We have a busy and exciting summer planned, and I’ll post as we go.

Maggie

[Lily&Me]

An estimated 10,000-15,000 people turned out for a Leah Marlene homecoming parade through our old, small and winding downtown last night, and then a free concert.

They blocked the downtown off, set up a stage and lights for her, and it was reportedly quite the event.

Standing room only, and the area was alive with people.

The presence of the ISU campus there has helped keep our downtown busy and bustling with shops, restaurants, bookstores and the old theatre.

A good thing, as so many downtown areas are full of closed buildings since WalMart and other super stores have taken over.

Pretty exciting.

[Lily&Me]

I finished “November Road” by Lou Berney the other night, and it was very good as well as unusual.

Set during and immediately after the assassination of JFK, only peripherally about that event but historical context.

Worth a read.

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/...Faraway%20Gone.


Picked the Interstate up from storage yesterday, topped off the fuel tank and it is resting in the driveway for a good cleaning before packing it up.

A high school graduation and party next weekend, then we’re off.


Not much going on here, really.

Baked a loaf of Dutch Oven bread yesterday, which I did not photograph, but it is yummy and will be sliced for the freezer today and head west with us.

A few tablespoons of ground flax meal and a little cooked Marsh Hen Mill yellow grits gave it a nice chew…nothing quite like a good homemade bread.

One of life’s little pleasures.

Maggie

[Lily&Me]

Two hours on the phone with my best friend the other day, she and her husband are my age and have not yet done the springing, medical Powers of Attorney.

They have just put it off, thinking they “have time”, which of course they do…until one of them has a medical emergency, and then suddenly they don’t.

So, we had a talk, about all the things I wish Doug and I had put in place but had not, until suddenly I was in crisis mode, then the shock of his death, and so many things I had to deal with that we could have planned for.

So, if you’re putting these things off…DON’T, is my PSA for today.

Life can change in an instant, and the one left behind will struggle with not only grief but many things that could have been taken care of in advance.

You don’t want to do this to them, to add to their burden.


On a more positive note…packing and readying the Interstate, I discovered in cleaning the other day that there is a good-sized storage space in the rear that I have not noticed before, nor used.

Accessed by pulling up the little drink holder wells on the curb side, there is an enclosed area, with flooring on the bottom, that would work well for all manner of things, and is the perfect spot for Lily’s extra Greenies…which always take up an inordinate amount of space somewhere, because I like to buy them on sale at Chewy.com and then carry enough when we leave to get thru an entire trip without re-ordering.

So, 6 sealed packages of these easily fit down in there, and a label was then taped to the top so that I know where they are when I go looking for them at some later point in time.

Because, without a label there I might well forget where I put them.


Finished “An Address in Amsterdam”, by Mary Dingee Fillmore last night, and tho it is not extraordinarily well written it is very good, and detail rich, historical fiction.

https://books.google.com/books/about...ok_description

Set in Amsterdam as the Nazis invade Holland, and thru several years of wartime hardship, deprivation, resistance, deportations, the hiding of Jews in cellars and attics, etc.

While I’ve probably read more than my share of books set during WWII, I believe this is the first one I’ve read set in Holland.

An “address” in this book is a hiding place…an attic, cellar, crawl space, etc., for Jews… with a family that has agreed to risk their own lives to save others.

With a surprise ending.

An overall good read.


And our very own Leah Marlene did not win American Idol, but made a darned good showing and has hopefully now launched a professional music career.

She handled her elimination with tremendous style and grace, to her great credit.

We all wish her well, whatever the future may hold.


Maggie

[Por Sonia]

Another fine post Maggie.

Originally Posted by Lily&Me

. . .
Life can change in an instant, and the one left behind will struggle with not only grief but many things that could have been taken care of in advance.
. . .

Plus your signature always rings true.
_________________________________________

"Cherish and appreciate those you love. This moment could be your last."
_________________________________________

Cheers,

Peter

[Lily&Me]

Thank you, Peter.

Maggie

[Lily&Me]

Caleb is now a high school graduate, one of 600+ in his senior class.

Seems like just last year he was the sweetest little toddler.

Interstate is mostly packed, going to get the antifreeze drained and fill with water today, will finish up with the frig tomorrow morning and head out after his party in the afternoon.

May has been a difficult month, in some respects, so I’m really ready to leave it behind and am looking forward to the summer.


I had a friend here on Thursday who I have known for over 40 years, since we both lived in the same older-house-turned-into-apartments.

Lots of life changes for both of us during this time, some years of losing touch, but her move last year from the west coast back to her home state of Missouri has allowed in person visits to become more frequent.

It is always such a centering experience, to have people in our lives where we can always pick up right where we left off the last time we talked…people who love you and “get” you.

It’s a good thing, old friends.

Next post will be from the road.

Maggie

[mimiandrews]

Why drain the antifreeze to fill with water? Antifreeze also raises the boiling point of the fluid in your cooling system, and it usually contains good anti-corrosion stuff. I understand draining and filling with new antifreeze solution, but water should be an emergency measure only these days.

[Lily&Me]

Hi Mimi!

I’m referring to my fresh water system, as I had to re-winterize when I returned home in March.

Thanks for watching out for me.

Maggie

[mimiandrews]

Oh, sorry! Must have written that before I had enough coffee.

[Lily&Me]

Need to pack the frig and freezer, run the vacuum and we are ready to go…the freezer door has NOT been fixed, going to secure it with a piece of duct tape until the mood strikes me to do the repair.

And maybe I can find a friendly other to help, or visit a campground that has a handyman who would do it for a nominal fee, as I am soooooo uninterested in these things, small as this task may be.


Have a double batch of chocolate, chocolate chip cookie dough, as well, waiting to be baked this morning, to take to Caleb’s party, at his request.

Grandma is more than glad to do this for her little red-headed boy, all grown up.


When my friend was here the other day, she wanted to know how to know when thoughts that pop into her head, seemingly “out of nowhere”, are actually communications from our loved ones who have died.

When they appear seemingly out of nowhere, was my response.

That’s what I believe, and what Tyler Henry refers to as “data downloads” in our head…our loved ones communications, coming thru to help or comfort us, or to provide guidance and direction.

I believe that, in the after.

She talked about her deceased father, with whom she was especially close, and how driving through areas out West where the family had vacationed many times she feels especially close to him.

Close as in feeling an overwhelming sense of his presence, which brings her to tears.

She thought maybe this beloved area was where his spirit lived, or my thought was that it may be a “thin place” where their past experiences there allow him to connect with her.

She feels deeply nurtured and loved by her father in these areas of the country, which I feel is significant.

But, like with so many things, one has to believe that something exists in order to see it, feel it, experience it.

She is still working on that, but we had a good talk about my experiences since Doug has died.


Reflecting back on our visit, she was unusually able to help me process something I’ve been dealing with this month, and I have to believe the timing of her visit was fortuitous, at least.


Okay, wanted to add this, and now the next post really will be from the road.

Maggie

[Lily&Me]

Originally Posted by mimiandrews

Oh, sorry! Must have written that before I had enough coffee.

I understand.

Maggie