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Old 04-08-2020, 11:09 AM   #1
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Toilet Paper: Gimme all you Got!!!!

The Toilet Paper mystery.

Millions of employees are home eating Breakfast, Lunch and maybe Dinner. Before they were at their Offices and ate out for Lunch in many examples.

- At the Office they used THEIR Toilet paper.

- At the Cafe they used THEIR Toilet paper.

No wonder the rush for Toilet Paper. They had no idea if they were using a Roll a Day or just three feet of a roll. When you are using someone else' 'goods' an estimate was not necessary.

Much like not worrying about how much Fuel a Taxi used to shuttle you from the Airport to a Hotel.

I was told during Army Helicopter Flight School we could use 4 segments of a toilet paper roll. Hazing of course. Anyone who believed that... well it was not me. Maybe so some would wash their hands?

Water Bills at home are going to RISE. Why... Toilets aflushing?

Grocery Bills are up, stocking the shelves for a long term rush of goods available.

I would wager that overweight people buy MORE than they will eventually need.

When this is all over. Employees will have gained weight. Have plenty of Toilet Paper to last the rest of the year at home. Bottled water they cannot return to the store. Excess Dog Food and other canned goods.

By the time the Economy gets moving, like a bowel movement of sorts, shelves get stocked, those at home will have ample supplies to work down before they return to shopping like normal Human Beans.

The End. What is your Theory of Survival?

Darwin may have been correct. Survival of the Fittest... plans ahead. Those that do not, have nothing to worry about as the Government will help them.
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Old 04-08-2020, 12:06 PM   #2
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SUPERMARKET FOLLIES
3 of my neighbors have never used the Walmart GROCERIES App, and it isn't easy to teach without sitting next to them, so I yell "need anything? and add their stuff to my orders. This requires stealth and sneakiness to get past max allowances of one or two packages. Only one person gets blueberry muffin mix, another gets plain mix and fresh blueberries..

Baked goods. Finally bread is available, after almost a month. Unlike Maggie, I only made it now and then... until I could not find it. Remarkably I had no problem finding Jiffy muffin mixes, which are fine though don't try croutons or a toasted cheese sandwich with one. So, I and 300,000 other people in Florida had the same brilliant idea - assumed baking bread was a lost art and tried to find the makings. Futile. I had less than 1 lb of flour and no yeast. A small loaf of soda bread and OUT. Saltines just aren't great with eggs and bacon, but eh.
Last week bread started showing up on shelves... but still no flour or yeast. Going to Publix tomorrow, better luck there than Walmart. Mask ON. Gonna hit the liquor store hard. BIG bottles of 1800 Margarita Mix. It is my new night cap. NO salt of course. Healthier that way - it's my story and I am sticking to it!

Bought a metal table for my Dutch ovens... so much easier than squatting to the ground. Amazon sent it in a box that would have held 4 of them, so the.box is probably a homeless shelter by now. THANKS to a neighbor got it from the camp post office to the cabana! He works for spaghetti and I am making a gigantic pot. I got a can of crushed tomatoes from Walmart and didn't peruse the size carefully - 6.3 pound institutional size. Hope my indoor SS Dutch oven is big enough as I would probably have to re-season cast iron after cooking something that acidic. Toilet paper is still a bit difficult to find and paper towels are impossible. I am washing and bleaching a cut up sheet or two. Old white T-shirts would be better, but I don't have an old white man who wears them.

My vegan friends in VIrginia Beach would kill for the fresh produce that is available here... but that exacerbates the TP shortage. I NOW understand why people like bidets.

Going through my fabric stash. Time to make some more masks.
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Old 04-08-2020, 12:22 PM   #3
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Just to add to this discussion, before I retired and when I slept at home, I never used someone else's toilet paper. My morning routine was always in my own bathroom. However, I have owned Toto washlets for two decades now and don't even use toilet paper at home. I had hoped to try out my bidet seat in the Airstream this season, a move to not put so much paper in the black tank, but it looks like that experiment will wait.
I have learned now that when you do an online grocery order and select banana-1, you get 1 little banana, not one bunch.
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Old 04-08-2020, 12:35 PM   #4
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I was told never sweat on their time, never sh&t on yours

Well, I love my job, and it occasionally requires sweating in Texas summers. But, about 80% of the time I do use company toilet paper


At home we bought a bale from Sam's just before the shtf, and have plenty left

If you need some, just order something cheap from U-line. The order comes with a 800 page catalog that isn't glossy.

And you will get another one next month too. I would wager that the paper is thin enough to not cause septic issues either
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Old 04-08-2020, 12:51 PM   #5
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There was a documentary, or something, about toilet paper. When it was first offered and how it developed from one ply, to two and the super deluxe three or four ply.

One early example claimed: No Splinters.

Now, beat that.
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Old 04-08-2020, 12:57 PM   #6
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Foiled Again: We did find fresh yeast. We finally did get our bread flour with gluten.

Nancy is pulling out our Bread Maker we used for a decade and lately we can get fresh Sour Dough and Bagels with a moments notice over the counter.

Nothing like a fresh heavy loaf of home made Honey Oat Meal Bread... at home?

Some of us remember the rising of bread and then being put into the oven... later to cool off next to an open window in the Summer.

Today... most people under 35 believe that the Bread Fairy makes it, or some where far, far away.
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Old 04-08-2020, 01:16 PM   #7
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No TP, no problem! Three Seashells to the rescue...

Ray, I’m surprised this hasn’t been mentioned yet... Syl Stallone found out in Demolition Man what replaced TP in 2032.

https://www.thedad.com/3-seashells/
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Old 04-09-2020, 10:08 AM   #8
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There is a lot of commercial TP available, since people aren't using it at work. You just have to go to sites that sell to businesses rather than the retail market.
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Old 04-09-2020, 10:14 AM   #9
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When I was a kid we had several Eatons catalogues in the Out House and never worried about TP - boy do I every miss those days
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Old 04-09-2020, 10:44 AM   #10
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Yeah no flour here either...WTF or polenta or corn meal.
Plenty of tortillas.....cabron!
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Old 04-09-2020, 12:07 PM   #11
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I just returned from grocery shopping. Most of the items were in stock, but they were low on milk and frozen vegetables. No shortage of toilet paper, but they still have a limit on how much you can buy. For a few weeks this store had a limit of two on any one product, but now they're just limiting a few items. One worker I asked said "There's no limit as long as you're being reasonable about it". For the first time since this all started I was able to buy Lysol wipes! A semi trailer was being delivered as I entered the store. There was plenty of bread, and fresh fruit and vegetables.

I had to wait in line for almost 15 minutes to get in, but at least it's a nice day. A security guard at the door was controlling entry so the store wouldn't get crowded, and another worker was wiping down the shopping cart handles. From what I saw everyone was being polite about keeping their distance. It seems like a long time since I've got a plastic bag from the store for my groceries, but now they won't let us bring reusable bags and are waiving the usual 5˘ charge per plastic bag.

For anyone wishing to dig deeper into the toilet paper shortage...What Everyone’s Getting Wrong About the Toilet Paper Shortage
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Old 04-09-2020, 01:53 PM   #12
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Wink

Quote:
Originally Posted by drbrick View Post
When I was a kid we had several Eatons catalogues in the Out House and never worried about TP - boy do I every miss those days
Also Monky wards and sears catalgues and bucket of corn cobs, red and white when you use reds then 1 white if see more reds are needed. I DON'T MISS THOSE YRS.
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Old 04-09-2020, 05:04 PM   #13
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Bake Bread! Yeah!! 🍞

Quote:
Originally Posted by Foiled Again View Post
SUPERMARKET FOLLIES
~

Baked goods. Finally bread is available, after almost a month. Unlike Maggie, I only made it now and then... until I could not find it. Remarkably I had no problem finding Jiffy muffin mixes, which are fine though don't try croutons or a toasted cheese sandwich with one. So, I and 300,000 other people in Florida had the same brilliant idea - assumed baking bread was a lost art and tried to find the makings. Futile. I had less than 1 lb of flour and no yeast. A small loaf of soda bread and OUT. ~.
Lucky me! I bake bread often so I always have a stash for bread and AP flours in the fridge or freezer. I keep commercial yeast, too, and also keep sourdough starter on hand. Either way, planning a bake is necessary. Good thing we are home with nowhere we can go... 🍞

Baked Double Soft loaf 🍞 yesterday. 👍🏼
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Old 04-10-2020, 07:00 PM   #14
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No shortage of TP here. People panic buying TP here were being ridiculous. There is a TP plant in the area.

Yeast is hard to find but I had two jars on hand. I was baking bread way before it became trendy.

Deals on grocery is the hardest to find right now but grocery stores are well stocked except for hand sanitizer and lysol wipes. I again luckily had some on hand.
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Old 04-14-2020, 08:23 AM   #15
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Congats on your retirement! Took our maiden voyage on April 2 for 2 nights. Ended up staying 10 nights. The owner of the KOA gave us a deal since there were only 3 or 4 other RV's there, plus we had a primo site, right at the edge of the GSMNP, literally separated by a gravel road. Our view from the door was the park, couldn't see other RV's unless we ventured around the other side of the GT. Look up Gatlinburg East KOA in Cosby, TN. https://koa.com/blog/galtinburg-east...-mountain-koa/
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Old 04-15-2020, 10:45 AM   #16
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Toilet paper has a shorter shelf-life than you might think, however,

When properly frozen....it will last 8.3 years

Have a great day!
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Old 04-15-2020, 10:48 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sallye View Post
There is a lot of commercial TP available, since people aren't using it at work. You just have to go to sites that sell to businesses rather than the retail market.
The quality of business TP is degrees of magnitude worse than the home brand. That's why there's a shortage. The demand for quality "home" type is up 40%.
Besides, what would I do with a million foot roll of TP so thin I could read a newspaper through it?
This morning, my grocery had some TP in stock. four or five brands and about 4 of each. Better than last week.

For you bidet experts, I have questions.
1. Face the wall or out?
2. Cold water jet?
3. Do you adjust it first? How?
4. Doesn't it shoot everywhere, including, but not limited to my pants?
4. The only thing worse than TP is wet TP.

I've had hotel rooms with one, and never figured it out.
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Old 04-15-2020, 10:52 AM   #18
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Be on the lookout for this guy.
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Old 04-15-2020, 10:59 AM   #19
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Tried that

Quote:
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There is a lot of commercial TP available, since people aren't using it at work. You just have to go to sites that sell to businesses rather than the retail market.

I tried that and ordered some. Still waiting. . . . .
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Old 04-15-2020, 11:32 AM   #20
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Angel Soft brand commercial toilet paper is excellent, approved by dw at our house. You have to buy 80 roll case but it is readily available here at the commercial janitorial supply stores.

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