Camping in Bear country

[Gene]

Dan, I appreciate your offer of CFO and operations, but I see myself more as an idea man who needs time and space to contemplate as luxurious resorts (I will have access to investors there). I am also willing to do highly paid speeches on the self improvement circuit and be chairman of the board. My activities will enhance the corporate purpose.

A horny bear will not kill you (note to Dan in sales—include KY in every package of BURINE) and it will not be as bad as a colonoscopy (further note to Dan—include anesthesia too), an angry bear will kill you.

I agree the Lear is a good choice so we don't appear ostentatious. Quiet elegance should be in our Mission Statement.

This leaves Vice President of Product Harvesting to Nuvi.

I shall contemplate now.

Gene

[danlehosky]

All good advice. Nuvi are you in? I am through on the forums tonight as I am choosing interior leather finishes and colors.
Dan

[Nuvite-F]

Originally Posted by CrawfordGene

This leaves Vice President of Product Harvesting to Nuvi.

You know, I have ended up a vice president of every company I've helped incorporate, and I think I prefer retirement. Vice presidents end up doing most of the work.

I don't see my name anywhere on the Articles of Incorporation of this venture. . . and I'm happy to leave it that way!
.

[Nightwatch]

I have no delusions that my airstream would keep out a starving and determined bear if I had a full ham sitting out on the kitchen table. The most vulnerable spot on the trailer is obviously the windows - a grizzly could break those out fairly easily. But as has been stated, a bear is opportunistic, and he is going to go after the nice easy tents first. They aren't going to spend unnecessary energy, like most wild creatures.

The huge advantage of the airstream in bear country, is it buys you time. If a truly maddened and determined bear decides to try to get into the trailer, I don't care how big and strong it is - it's going to take time to get into the trailer - whether through a window or by ripping off the sides or door. After the first blow, I will be up and will be moving out the emergency hatch, or short of that will have one huge knife in my hand stabbing at the bears paws and muzzle to discourage it from coming any further into the trailer (last resort). Plus I have a dog that would be going nuts.

So with all that said - what do you think the likelihood is of me getting eaten by a bear in my airstream? I would say close to zero - even if I was stupid enough to leave a ham out on the table, which I would never do. Case in point - the only story I have ever heard of a bear attacking an airstream was the one mentioned at the beginning of this thread. And what happened? She scared it off. One reported case and how many camping nights in airstreams over 70 years? Not saying there aren't other stories of attempted break ins, but that the point - attempted.

Actually on further research, there was one case of a bear tearing into a trailer in 1993 in Colorado and killing the man inside (doesn't say what kind of trailer). The bear had been a problem for some time, and had even broken into the trailer the day before when the man was away. But that is one case of a fatal trailer break in for every searchable fatal bear attack in US history. Again, I would say the odds are in our favor.

[ROBERT CROSS]

I have a photo sharing start-up IPO I'm considering, I'll send Gene the negative's.
MyFace has already expressed interest.
Would consider a hostile takeover of this odiferous venture.

Bob

[Gene]

Originally Posted by Nuvite-F

Vice presidents end up doing most of the work.

That's why you've been chosen VP. Obviously Dan and I are unsuited for work.

Bob, how much are you offering for the stock? I think BURINE, LLC, is worth at least ten billion dollars.

Gene

[EricktheSOB]

I have seen a very good cartoon on the subject Horny vs. Angry bear.. unfortunately it is not appropriate to post here. Im not sure I would like to encounter a horny bear. I do believe that one is most likely to encounter a FEMALE bear in the woods. They are the ones taking care of cubs (of course the father just takes off.. lol) and as we know a sow bear is probably the more aggressive of the sexes. The OTHER kind of bear (not the angry kind) is most likely to be encountered in a certain type of bar in large, urban areas such as San Francisco, Las Vegas, Denver, and West Hollywood....

Being a hunter I do know some people soak themselves in deer pee and camoflague to try and actually catch one.. Ive never found it necessary where I have hunted, but maybe in areas like Texas where its like europe in the middle ages and you have to be a member of the upper class to hunt and the game is scarce, deer pee is needed. Otherwise its just like bottled water.. a good scam.

For Gene and Nuvite, if you guys remember General Brewings "Beer" generic beer in the black and white cans? well why dont we can tap water in a plain silver can and sell it as AS water! we could charge 3 dollars a can.... Maybe just a small set of red numbers to designate which batch, and a barcode... We could start our own mobile microbrewery in a gutted widebody.... then we can properly appease the bears.

[Getaways]

I'm looking for a jar of "Essense of Salmon" and an extra "Bear Repellant" label to put on it. My ex will be going to bear country soon and I want to give her some "protection".

[Gene]

Erick, I like the AS Water idea. We can use the same cans for BURINE and AS Water and switch labels if we build up too much inventory of one product or the other. Certainly there is a beer from Colorado that tastes about the same as BURINE.

Sorry, Get', no extra labels available now. Maybe your divorce lawyer has some.

I have to go now and choose the window coverings fabric for the Lear Jet. So many responsibilities!

Gene

[danlehosky]

What inventory???? C'mon you you VP's, get busy in production. I want to start flying around the country selling but I don't even have any product SAMPLES. I'll need a case (24) of each. Gene, hows that prospectus going for the IPO. I'm thinking 40 million shares at about 22.00 a share. Whoever the VP is in charge of production get your a$$ in gear and get me some product.... My bags are packed.
Dan
CEO Pure Protection Products

[EricktheSOB]

Thats true Gene, it already comes in a silver can.....

and for Getaways, its been proven that Pepper Spray, when applied to tents and the ground, actually attract bears..... sort of like a good marinade..

[tvoneicken]

You guys better enter the 21st century. "Inventory", sheesh... Create a mobile game where players buy virtual *ine for real money, prep your business for IPO, and then get acquired in the last minute by zynga or facebook for $1BN. Don't waste your time creating physical goods, that's so old-school. Nobody can make any money with that stuff anymore... ;-)

[danlehosky]

Originally Posted by tvoneicken

You guys better enter the 21st century. "Inventory", sheesh... Create a mobile game where players buy virtual *ine for real money, prep your business for IPO, and then get acquired in the last minute by zynga or facebook for $1BN. Don't waste your time creating physical goods, that's so old-school. Nobody can make any money with that stuff anymore... ;-)

But Tvon, after a rather dissapointing lunch with my tax attorney this afternoon. I decided to lighten the mood by showing him this thread. He thought it was halarious (I went to college with this guy). His take was that we should EXPAND our physical product line with a new product called HURINE. He said the market share for this type of product would far outweigh any animal repellant products as human to human attacts are statistically more likely to occur. He has camped with me and he told me I could use the blackwater storage tank on my trailer as a storage facility for the corporation and get a huge tax write off I will need product storage facilities in all major metro areas. He suggested this product would do well as a pump aerosol. Come on production VP's i ned you to hit this packaging hard.

Tvon, I do however agree with you about non tangible product IPO"s and some other time I will tell you about a company my BIL and some friends were very serious about developing in the late 90"s called LACKEY.com. If the NASDAQ would have just lasted about 6 more months they could have done it. Things were crazy in Seattle then.
Dan

[paiceman]

I always have at least one gun, depending on where we are going and where we might go. One is a 12GA Mossberg Tactical and if in Bear country 000 shot. This also goes to Canada. One can fill out a form, check wildlife protection and pay $25.00 and it's good to go for 60 days. A pistol can be taken in for the same reason, but must have over a 4" barrell and the fee is $50.00. Both forms must be in triplicate, and signed BUT NOT SIGNED UNTIL A CANADIAN CUSTOM AGENT SAYS TO.

We also carry Wasp spray - this works on black bears, know from experience, as we don't want to kill an animal if we don't have to and it works on intruders of the human type. We both have multiple CCW permits, which are good in most states but the northeast. But the shotguns are, if cased, unloaded and locked.

We have multiple Bear encounters while tenting a number of years ago, in Canada. Each one was a test, but food was in trees and we remained calm and stationary, with wasp spray at hand.

[Gene]

Dan, if your tax attorney thought this very serious matter was funny, maybe you should find an attorney with vision and imagination. I am considering legal action in this matter since that is another way to make a bunch of money out of this thing.

I do like the black tank as leverage for a write off for all our trips and am taking the proper steps to patent this idea before anyone else does. Maybe a hybrid of HURINE and MURINE would work—I could capture a bear cub, make him drink beer, and tie him to the toilet to provide the proper blend.

Actually I want Nuvi, VP for something or other—production and canning I guess—to do this. I must go back to contemplating and imagining. Every time I dream about this I will also add that to my hourly fees because I do some of my best thinking while asleep.

Gene

[ROBERT CROSS]

Quick get it on the market...folks need it NOW!!!

[VIDEO]

Bob

[Lily&Me]

Boys, boys, boys.


Maggie

[danlehosky]

Alright, alright. I had a few friends over last night and we played cards for a couple of hours and went thru some Bud Light. The product delivery system works very well. This will be a snap. I'm in the air right now going to LA. This very important test market will give us an idea for product demand. I've got some friends down there and I'm going to convince one of them to let me spray him down and then stand on, oh lets say Hollywood and LaBrea and see what happens. I know I'm taking a chance at this location as this may attract, rather than repell the people who hang out in this area. Anyway I'm really sticking my neck out here and I hope if this somehow goes south one of you knows a good bail bondsman as being in the LA County jail for any length of time with someone covered in HURINE would not go well. As CEO I never thought I would have to do this market research. Come on VP's lets get moving. If things go well I'm heading for the Big Apple. Maybe Wall St. In front of Trump Tower.
Dan

[Gene]

Please send photos of your experiment at Hollywood and Vine, Dan. As for the Trump Tower, I don't think anyone would notice any difference.

I don't know how you became CEO, but I am sure I am chairman of the board and chair of the executive compensation committee. If you can't get the VP to act, maybe we should fire you and disgorge the stock awards.

Gene

[ROBERT CROSS]

Watch-out in LA & BA the product may very well smell just like home, specially around WS.

Bob