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Old 08-28-2006, 05:37 AM   #1
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$$$ for 2005 SS SE LS????

Well, I hate to do it but I'm seriously thinking about selling it. My husband hasn't said a good thing about it since the day before we brought it home. Last night he referred to it as an albatross. I love it, but my husband doesn't have an adventurous bone in his body. I can't handle it on my own. If we sell it, at least there will be some additional dollars to do some travelling by myself. The question is, how much is a 45 year old male with a back problem worth? Oh. . .sorry. . .how much is a 1.2 year old Safari SS SE LS worth?

Very, very sad.
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Old 08-28-2006, 07:06 AM   #2
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Don't give up!

There are many women who are handling the towing and set up of their AS! And not waiting for their husbands!!! That sounds like a new trailer that shouldn't need all that much work. Is it road ready??

Maybe Wheel Interested, Carol, will chime in here! She is my hero!!! Going it alone for many trips..with a BIG, BIG, shiny, beautiful new AS!!!

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Old 08-28-2006, 07:26 AM   #3
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That is truly a sad story; too bad. Hopefully, you can get him interested and change his mind. To get a value starting place, go to www.nada.com. Their site gives RV values. Good luck.
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Old 08-28-2006, 07:35 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roadsub
Well, I hate to do it but I'm seriously thinking about selling it. My husband hasn't said a good thing about it since the day before we brought it home. Last night he referred to it as an albatross. I love it, but my husband doesn't have an adventurous bone in his body. I can't handle it on my own. If we sell it, at least there will be some additional dollars to do some travelling by myself. The question is, how much is a 45 year old male with a back problem worth? Oh. . .sorry. . .how much is a 1.2 year old Safari SS SE LS worth?

Very, very sad.

I like to travel and I'm very adventurous

Seriously though,my wife probably wouldn't go for that . I hope things work out for you and you find a solution that everyone is happy with.
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Old 08-28-2006, 08:40 AM   #5
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Lou is right. Don't give it up! With the depreciation hit you are going to take you might as well give it at least a year or two longer and see how much you use it and then you can sell it if you find you will not use it.

Haven't we heard from other forum members whose wives were cool to camping and Airstreams at first then warmed up to the lifestyle and now adore it? Or if not they go by themselves.

Get that albatrose off his neck and on the road girl! If you love it and he has no desire for adventure I can't see how you could think of parting with it. An Airstream is a safe way for you to travel without your husband. Go to some rallies or pick a place you have always wanted to see and go. Take a girlfriend or a family member if you want. Visit family or just find a quiet park and enjoy some time on your own. Perhaps you will both feel refreshed when you get back. Live a little. You don't want day's end to leave you frustrated giving up your dreams, that's the stuff that makes you you and what drew him to you to begin with! Right? He just needs a little time by himself.

Maybe we should start a new thread and see just how many woman travel alone. I was thinking about a woman's rally lately.

Michelle, "thecatsandi" tows alone,
Jamie, "DougandJamie" towed solo to Aluminations
Hunter with the e-mail list
Daisey Welsh
Vicki, Mrs. "Towdaddy" tows alone
Donna "Dieterdog"
"Foiled again"

Who else is out there?
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Old 08-28-2006, 09:00 AM   #6
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I guess I have a little different view of things like this having come from a 'For better or for worse" generation. A trailer or anything else that stresses your relation ship with your mate, no mater how shinny and pretty, no mater how much either one of you like it, is not worth it. As I see it marrage is when two no longer speek of him & I, but "we". It just sounds like maybe you guys were not on the "same page" when you bought it. If it were me I'd sell it, take my losses, and find something you both can enjoy "together". "End of sermon"-------------pieman
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Old 08-28-2006, 09:17 AM   #7
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I must be from your same generation. We have been married 36 years and together more than those and God willing we will have many many more years together.

Just to clarify I am NOT advocating giving up or selling your husband! Do not fulltime without him and NEVER choose a possesion over a person!
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Old 08-28-2006, 09:35 AM   #8
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i'm on the flip side of this, when we first got our trailer kathi would go all the time, including a bunch of crosscountry trips. now she usually prefers to stay at home.

having seperate vacations is not a bad thing, getting time away from your spouse can be a good thing!

perhaps you could encourage your husband to go do some guy things with the trailer. go to the races, ball game, hunting or just camping out with the boys.

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Old 08-28-2006, 10:41 AM   #9
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Rivet Sorry to hear about your dilemna

I hope that you can find a way to make it work out.

I'm sure you know your hubby's back pain is really unpleasant, and it may be that its hard for him to even ride in the tow vehicle for a long time without suffering. Probably its hard to find things to do when activity makes his back feel bad. Maybe when he can get some sort of help with the back things will look better. My dad suffered for many years with severe back pain (football injuries) and had to sleep on hard surfaces to be able to rest at night until surgery and physical therapy made it better. I can not imagine having fun camping with all the physical movement it is and being in pain.

Maybe you can have fun driving alone as suggested? Its easier to do than you might think. I find its easier to drive when my husband is asleep--less drama from the backseat driver tee hee!!

I think a women's rally is a great idea Carol! I love reading about Paula's (Foiled Again) and Michelle's adventures on the road!
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Old 08-28-2006, 11:20 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roadsub
Well, I hate to do it but I'm seriously thinking about selling it. My husband hasn't said a good thing about it since the day before we brought it home. Last night he referred to it as an albatross. I love it, but my husband doesn't have an adventurous bone in his body. I can't handle it on my own. If we sell it, at least there will be some additional dollars to do some travelling by myself. The question is, how much is a 45 year old male with a back problem worth? Oh. . .sorry. . .how much is a 1.2 year old Safari SS SE LS worth?

Very, very sad.
Men are Great, I prefer them broiled!
What's a man good for? 20 minutes if you are very, VERY lucky!

YOU CAN HANDLE IT ON YOUR OWN. I'm 58, fat, unmarried and I can handle it, so can you. No excuses, put on your Nikes and "just do it". If you can disassemble a food processor or thread a sewing machine you can learn to do anything that needs to be done on your trailer. And the world is full of NICE men who will be delighted to help you for nothing more than a thank you. (If they do something major, a nice bottle of scotch won't be taken amiss either!)

I don't want to man bash, but come on... Your husband's attitude is HIS attitude.

Think about this: For years you've made pies and served them to your family. I'll bet that on most occasions, by the time you get to sit down and reach for the pie plate, there isn't a piece left for you. In that case, SHAME ON YOU for not teaching those loutish children (including the 45 year old one with the bad back) to respect you and save you the best piece.... because without you there would be NO pie.

That Airstream IS YOUR PIECE OF THE PIE. Just tell your husband you'll miss him, pack up and go. If it takes you six hours to get prepped the first time, don't worry it will get better the next time, and the next time, and the next time. Take along a friend or two if you want, but GO with or without him.

I will be 58 next month, I'm plus sized and I CAN back my big Suburban up all by myself, hitch all by myself, hook up the Reese Dual Cam all by myself, double check my mirrors, the tv antenna, bathroom vents, stabilizer jacks, steps, door lock... then I have to take a quick shower and change cloths to get the sweat off my fat lil body... but I go. Yes, it's a little more physically demanding than running a Cuisanart, but basically it isn't a harder skill than cooking, sewing or properly maintaining a house. You learned those things, you'll learn all of the skills you need to run your Airstream too.

And guess what? I've met lots of wonderful people, men and women who think I'm grand for simply doing what I really want to do. If I get in over my head there has ALWAYS been someone who has showed up and helped me over the rough spots. AND by the way there are seven, count em, SEVEN widowers who full time in the park where I spend most of my time. You might let your husband know that lots of men who've lost their wives end up fulltiming. Hmmmm... (OK honestly only two are worth a second look, but at my age, a man with a pulse is good!)


I truly believe that happiness is mostly a choice. There are people who seem to be genetically more or less happy than others. You are trying to change your husband's fundamental personality, but you've forgotten to ask yourself one question.
Why on earth do you think it's OK for you to make YOURSELF "Very Very Sad" in hopes that it will make your HUSBAND happy?

If happiness is a choice, he could rejoice in your joy and encourage you to enjoy the Airstream, even if he doesn't always accompany you. If he constantly complains, that's a choice too. If your husband is generally a naysayer, do you honestly think giving up your Airstream will change him into a happy person? Or will it just prime him to expect you to give up something ELSE you enjoy because he doesn't share your interest?

If his back pain is the real issue, then don't expect him to accompany you, but also realize you can't be a one woman nurse and entertainment committee. Take time for yourself so that you can come home refreshed and supportive. Personally I'll bet good money that if your weekend trip includes NASCAR he'll take a few Advil and be there!


If your husband thought you had end stage cancer and the one thing you wanted to do before you died was go Airstreaming for a month or two, do you think he'd be totally supportive? Well, if he'd want you to enjoy the few months you had left Airstreaming, then why doesn't he see that life IS 100% fatal, it IS going to kill you eventually, so why shouldn't he encourage you to enjoy what you want...whether it's for 1 year or 40?

If your husband carps, remove the Airstream and he'll carp about something else. An earlier poster said "never choose a position over a person". That is really good advice, especially if you remember that YOU are a person, too. And sometimes the person you need to choose is yourself. If you never say "it's my turn" you eventually you won't have anything left for you, or anyone else.

Each of us gets one lifetime. Each of us has dreams deferred or lost. When you reach "mid-life crisis" stage, one thing that usually comes out is a clearer picture of what you can REALISTICALLY do with the rest of your life. If you want to Airstream, and your husband wants to stay home and fart into the couch, why shouldn't you BOTH have your little dreams?

BTW, if HE dropped dead of a heart attack, you'd eventually have to learn to cope by yourself. So, why should he have to drop dead before you'd want to acquire those skills? GO FOR IT!

Illigitimi non Carborundum!

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Old 08-28-2006, 11:43 AM   #11
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You guys are a hoot!!! That's one of the things I love about Airstreamers - the free spirit. I might have to think twice about getting rid of it. . .the Airstream, that is. The husband's been around for 21 years of marriage and 9 years before that. I've kinda grown used to him. Maybe he'll grow used to the Airstream. If not, he can just bury me in her. I'll be happy and he can save the expense of the casket!
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Old 08-28-2006, 12:12 PM   #12
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That's the spirit girl! If he feels the same way about you, he'll eventually warm to Airstreaming. Get him involved in ONE event he would like and he'll be hooked; Nascar, tail-gating at a baseball or football game, the grand opening of a new electronics store.... you'll get him to see the good side. If he can't participate let him have a "weekend without shaving" while you're on your own.

I like the idea of a woman's rally, but if we have them we should be able to bring our pets even if they are the of the two-legged variety. You know how they call humans "shaved apes"? Well one of my widowers needs to be told about the "shaved" part... he does look rather simian... but he's amusing and would be great fun.

I'm sticking to east of the Mississippi for the rest of the year, what would be fun? Lets go back and watch "Feasting on Asphalt" for something cool and wierd to do.

In my post I mis-quoted, by a typo. It should have been "never choose a possession over a person". (I typed position.... how kinky was that sounding?) Perhaps mods can fix it.

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Old 08-28-2006, 12:40 PM   #13
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Does your husband have a hobby? If so, ask him to let this be yours. I haven't seen a post from Tnsue lately, but she is retired and fulltiming by herself. She handles her 28' Excella on her own, so you can handle yours too with practice. Just remember to swing wide (voice of experience here)! Take your time and enlist help when you need it. You could always take your husband along for backing directions. Point is: it isn't rocket science and even if it was, there are plenty of women rocket scientist. To think you can't handle it is living in the dark ages.

Having said all that, don't let a posession break up your marriage. If you think it will, re-think your love of the Airstream or your love of your husband. One is more important and only you can decide which it is.
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Old 08-28-2006, 03:22 PM   #14
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I have been pulling a trailer of some sort for 20 years. Started with a pop-up, went to a bunkhouse, and now the Airstream. My husband never slept in any of them until the Airstream. I vacationed with our children without him due to the fact that he's a farmer. He pressured me into getting rid of the bunkhouse since the kids were all working & really couldn't get away with me for any length of time. After having the camping blues last year, I told him I was buying an Airstream to fix up & he and the boys could use it for their hunting trips. Well, I took my girlfriends on a little jaunt this summer & we had a blast! It will become an annual event in my book. Hubby & the boys loved staying in it for their manly get away (I don't want to be there!), so the whole thing works out great. The Airstream is so easy to set up & pull compared to a hugemongus bunkhouse, that I think you can do it if you put your mind to it! Call your girlfriends, pack a bunch of good stuff to eat (that you don't buy for your kids who don't appreciate it anyhow), and don't forget the girlie drinks! You'll have a blast!
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Old 08-28-2006, 03:45 PM   #15
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Paula---I compliment you on your celibacy and abiltity to do things on your own. From reading your thread it obvious why you are such. That said realize when you make decisions your feelings and desires are the only ones that need be concidered. Certainly there is nothing wrong with this. However there are others out here that have chosen lifestyles and commitments that are different. The one I married [44 yrs] is the most important person in my life. Our decisions are not just what I want or just what she wants but but what works best for both. Personally I think it wrong for anyone outside to encourage dissension. ----pieman
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Old 08-28-2006, 03:51 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Foiled Again
If happiness is a choice, he could rejoice in your joy and encourage you to enjoy the Airstream, even if he doesn't always accompany you. If he constantly complains, that's a choice too. If your husband is generally a naysayer, do you honestly think giving up your Airstream will change him into a happy person? Or will it just prime him to expect you to give up something ELSE you enjoy because he doesn't share your interest?
Have to agree with Paula here.

I'm the one who wanted the Airstream in our family. Doug was game, but didn't have the flexibility at work to do all the travel I have in mind, and he wasn't all that excited about towing. He was reluctant about me going it alone, had concerns about not being there for me if something went wrong. I think that when it sunk in that I was planning on doing this whether or not he was along for the ride, he worked through his apprehensions and finally came around to the idea. Part of the reason we traded our older Safari 23' for the new Bambi 19' was so I had something I was comfortable with taking out myself. And now Doug enjoys Airstreaming as much as I do.

So I've been testing the water. I've towed twice now (one time just home from the dealer after warranty work). I've hitched up and set up at the campground myself, and I'm really looking forward to future escapes on my own.

Count me in on a woman's rally, or caravan!
-Jamie
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Old 08-28-2006, 04:34 PM   #17
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Quote:
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Our decisions are not just what I want or just what she wants but but what works best for both. Personally I think it wrong for anyone outside to encourage dissension. ----pieman
I agree that no one should encourage dissension, but at the same time I can relate a story from my own marriage.

We had a dog, he was our dog and after we had children he became my dog; he was a cocker spaniel. For 4-1/2 years I gave him insulin injections twice a day; had cateract surgery for him in 2001; spent literally thousands on him over the last 4-1/2 years of his life; in June of 2005 he had kidney failure and we had to have him put down. Three more months and he would have been 15 years old. My wife insisted that we get another dog just two months after he died. For two months I told her I wasn't ready for another dog. She continued to persist for months. Our new cocker spaniel just turned one year old yesterday. He is her dog. Only I was the one who house broke him, taught the kids to play with him, taught him how to play with the kids, etc. When I am home this dog doesn't let me out of his site. He worships the ground I walk on because I am the pack leader. I am only recently getting to where I don't resent him being a part of our family. I have never held it against him that he is not my Max because that is not his fault. He deserves better.

My point is that it can't be just what she wants and it can't be just what he wants either. They both have to respect each others feelings and opinions. I was ok with another dog if we waited for me to get over the loss of my beloved Max. I wanted to wait 'till after Christmas. Both need to sit down and discuss what they want and decide what works for both. If he has a hobby, he shouldn't object to her having one either. If he has a fishing boat, he shouldn't object to her having a camping trailer. If it is a matter of finances, that is one thing, but if not, they should discuss it and come to an agreement on what to do. Will he be PO'ed that they take such a big fanancial hit on selling such a new trailer? Will he be PO'ed about all of the camping accessories that they purchased at full price, or even sale price, that they will have to sell at pennies on the dollar in a yard sale? Will this cause more strife than keeping the Airstream? Will there be matrimonial harmony after it is sold or will there be deep seeded resentment? Will there be deep seeded resentment if it isn't sold?

Communication is the thing that has to happen and we men just aren't going to go there if we don't have to. There has been a lot of advise given and I don't think any of it, whether to keep or sell, was given with the expectation that that was the final word. Talk to your husband. Ask him if he objects to you keeping it and using it on your own or if you do the stuff that would hurt his back and him go, too. If he says he would object find out why. Ask him if you give this up for him, what he would be willing to give up down the road for you if you asked him to. See if it is that important to him that you do. Again, this is assuming that it is not going to be a financial reason. It is hard to argue with economics.
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Old 08-28-2006, 05:01 PM   #18
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Minnie's Mate---I couldn't agree more that communication is key to any relationship. That said, Paula obviously has no idea what the word means. A perfect example of "misery loving company". ---pieman
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Old 08-28-2006, 05:46 PM   #19
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Life's about not settling

Marriage is not a 50/50 compromise. Marriage is 100/100%. Two heads are better than one. When one is down the other is there to help raise the other up. Compromise doesn't mean leaving behind something the other doesn't care for and the other having to follow that same suit until you find something you both agree upon. Of course that can work but it is not the only way to compromise and respect each other. (Excuse the following stereo types given for comparison purposes only) A man could give up fishing, and a woman could give up knitting and they could both settle on something they both like, listening to music. It's a solution and a compromise. But what if the man went fishing without his wife and she would knit when she was free from their time spent together to engage in her singular pursuit and then they would both later sit and listen to music together. Both partners would be happy, content, complete and have more to bring to the relationship to enrich it and to share with each other. And that is still a compromise.

My brother-in-law years ago thought it was terrible that I had my cds and my husband had his, instead of all of them being ours. We have some that are ours, but he has music I don't care for and I have music he doesn't care for. Now we could limit our music collection to only the music we both enjoy and we would have to listen to something else, but why would we do that?

If one was a morning person and one was a night owl, would both have to rally in the afternoon, so both could be equally disadvantaged? Or could one day have morning plans and one day evening plans?

Marriage is not a homogenization of two people morphing into a shallower less diverse entity.

NO one encouraged dissention. Opinions that a woman becomes mutinous to be assertive are thoughts that are created through imagination and control.

So if he sits home, so dutifully should she. My goodness should they still bury the wives with the pharoahs too?
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Old 08-28-2006, 05:49 PM   #20
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Whoa There!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike Lewis
Minnie's Mate---I couldn't agree more that communication is key to any relationship. That said, Paula obviously has no idea what the word means. A perfect example of "misery loving company". ---pieman
Pieman, don't you recognize humour when you hear it? I resent your comment above and think you should retract it and apologize.
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