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Old 08-28-2006, 06:20 PM   #21
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The lines will be drawn...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike Lewis
Paula---I compliment you on your celibacy and abiltity to do things on your own. From reading your thread it obvious why you are such. That said realize when you make decisions your feelings and desires are the only ones that need be concidered. Certainly there is nothing wrong with this. However there are others out here that have chosen lifestyles and commitments that are different. The one I married [44 yrs] is the most important person in my life. Our decisions are not just what I want or just what she wants but but what works best for both. Personally I think it wrong for anyone outside to encourage dissension. ----pieman
Hey Mike... Celibacy... uh? Well, close I guess.

I suspect that lines will be drawn pretty much down man/woman lines on this one... or maybe based on enthusiasm for Airstreaming. I admire people who've managed to stay married for many, many years. My aunt Martha who was married to uncle Cal for 62 years until he died was very honest. She once said you've got to be very lucky, you've got to make a lot of compromises, and occasionally you've just got to be too lazy to go down to the courthouse and file papers! Now they were still holding hands and patting fannies in their 80's. I'm actually surprised that Martha didn't die within months of Cal. Aunt Martha fully believed that marriage wasn't a 50-50 proposition, it was a 100%-100% one. She really nailed that one!

I was married, and I firmly believe that the woman is always at fault when a marriage ends... in my case Cathy was at fault, then Brenda, Latisha, Connie.... I would still be married if I could just have understood his hobby.
He was actually a really nice guy, and compared to most ex-husband stories you hear, our splitup was very amiable. Our lawyers must have hated us for making them so little money. None the less, there are some things I just wouldn't do to stay married.

What prompted me to respond as I did was the obvious distress and misery of a woman who wasn't listening to her own feelings but preparing to just give up something she wanted because she was automatically putting her husband's needs first. Maybe the right thing WILL be for her to sell the Airstream... but it shouldn't be the first thing she considers. Maybe the right thing will be for her HUSBAND to compromise.... Heresy? Or maybe just Tough Love, baby.

Notice I didn't say, "God made big men, God made little men, Smith and Wesson made them all alike." Now THAT is tough love!

Compromise needs to be a two way street...
And darn it we always need more Airstreamers so let's get his butt involved.

Semper Airstreamus!

Paula Ford
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Old 08-28-2006, 06:24 PM   #22
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Carol ---I respect your opinon as to what is humour. However I do disagree. I see no humour when a person spends 12 or so paragraphs bashing anothers mate. I see no reason to apologize. I'll leave it at this , I agree that we disagree.---Pieman
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Old 08-28-2006, 08:53 PM   #23
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HeH Heh!

Paula - I really wish you were on the west coast - I'd love it if you came to our NW rallies! You are a HOOT! .... Just don't talk to my Mona, now

Checking my maleness at the door...
Marc
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Old 08-28-2006, 10:55 PM   #24
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I think the main thing here is that Paula and Mike are both trying to tell Roadsub that she has options. They aren't telling her this is what you should do, but this is one way you can go. All in all, it is Roadsub's decision as to how she will proceed.

Mike is saying respect your husband's wishes to keep peace in your marriage and Paula is saying respect yourself to keep peace in your marriage. They are opposite ends of the spectrum but basically want the same results for Roadsub.
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Old 08-29-2006, 12:28 AM   #25
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to all of the above,,, was married for 18 years,, husband did die suddenly of a heart attack,,, raised 2 daughters , 5 and 8 at the time,,, now,,, my Airstreams are the reason i rise and shine in the morning,, donna
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Old 08-29-2006, 01:19 AM   #26
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My wife and I often take seperate vacations. Usually because of our work schedules. I go camping and she sleeps in until dinner and does whatever she wants to do.

Haul it down to the parking lot and teach yourself how to back up. Put your hands at the bottom of the wheel and move them the way you want the back end of the trailer to go. That is the basic and you can do it.
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Old 08-29-2006, 06:12 AM   #27
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Wow, I didn't mean to create a man/woman controversy here. I think all of you are correct to some degree.

For the compromisers: Believe me, I've compromised. I changed my college degree. I was going to get my masters in entomology (not real high paying but fun!) but, because were were going to get married and one of us needed a real job, I instead went an extra year to college to get my teaching certificate so I could get a job and he could go on and get his two masters degrees. I supported him while he did so (on the great luxury of a teacher's salary!). I moved from my life-long home to where he was going to school. When he got a job elsewhere, I again moved. Since I couldn't find a job teaching, I again changed my career. While he got to go to school and not have to work because of my income, I worked full-time and went to law school at night, fully supported by grants so it cost us nothing (the stress of that alone probably shortened my lifespan by 10 years!). We bought the house he wanted. We bought the vehicles he wanted. We bought the boat he wanted (I'm afraid of the water but I go out in it so we can do it as a family). We have taken our only vacations during the year with his family, never with mine. We spend our free weekends with his family, even though mine is only slightly farther (50 miles) in distance. He sees my family once a year, maybe. I was the one who had to fight tooth and nail through 5 years of infertility alone (doctor visits, surgeries, drugs that would kill a horse). And I mean alone, except when it was fun for him, of course. My husband "controls" the money. Yes, I work and I earn more than him. Once we had kids, I wanted to stay home for the kids, but my husband wanted the money, so I'm still at work. Yes, I have access to the money, but after years of occassionally spending money (believe me, nothing extreme, I'm nearly as frugal (dirt cheap) as he is) and getting yelled at and given the cold shoulder for days, you get conditioned to not spend anything. It's just not worth the stress. Walmart and Sams know me by name. There has been plenty of compromise on my part.

For the free spirits: Quite frankly, I'm 44 years old and just now starting to realize that if I don't do what I want to do now, I might never do it. Midlife crisis? Maybe. Me realizing life doesn't last forever? More likely. The obituaries are full of 40-year-olds.

Has my husband compromised? I'm sure he'd say he has but, quite frankly, I think he'd be hard-pressed to come up with a list like the one above.

Do I love him? Absolutely! Would I leave him for an Airstream or anything else? Not on your life! Do I wish he would at least try to do something that I like, like traveling, once in a while? I dream of it. . .but I might just have to make my own dreams come true once in a while.
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Old 08-29-2006, 07:58 AM   #28
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I think that everyone has had their say now and this thread has drifted pretty far from Airstreams, so I am going to quietly close the thread.
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