What our Members are doing

[Melody Ranch]

xxx

[masseyfarm]

Mine is not doing much. I can't MEMBER anything.

Dave

[blmitch5]

Ok I'll bite. I'm playing with my Dysons cleaning! I live a truly glamorous lifestyle! Oh wait if I were truly glamorous I'd have a maid and I would be on a beach somewhere instead of cold Kansas pushing a vacuum around.

[GeocamperAS]

I am retiring in 112 days 22 minutes 54 seconds

[blmitch5]

Originally Posted by tiger

I am retiring in 112 days 22 minutes 54 seconds

Not keeping track of time? Congratulations! I'm retiring in 10 years but no countdown yet.

[kamadeca]

Heh, heh, heh.

Actually I am in countdown mode as well. 59 calendar days and 35 working days, but who is counting! Let's hear it for retirement!

[ventport]

Why Do I Like Retirement !!!

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday



Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.


Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.



Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.


Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.



Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.


Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.



Question: What is the common term for someone who
enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!


Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the
basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their
adult kids will want to store stuff there.



Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal.


Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.


Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back
to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents..



Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't
miss work, but misses the people he used to
work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.



And, my very favourite.....
QUESTION: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday through Friday, NOTHING.....
Saturday & Sunday, I rest.


SERENITY

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up
to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your
husband?'
'98,' she replied... 'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented..
She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?



Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
'And what do you think is the best thing
about being 104?' the reporter asked..
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'



The nice thing about being senile is
you can hide your own Easter eggs
and have fun finding them.



I've sure gotten old!
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes.
I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded,
and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
I still have my driver's license.



I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and
start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired
for an hour But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.



An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her
preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be
cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered
over WalMart.
'WalMart?' the preacher exclaimed. 'Why WalMart?'
'Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week'



My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.



Know how to prevent sagging?
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.



It's scary when you start making the same noises
as your coffee maker.



These days about half the stuff
in my shopping cart says,
'For fast relief.'



THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference..

[eljay]

Reading, dreaming and eating a chocolate chip cookie.

The dreams involve warmer weather, fabrics, vulkem...

[webspinner]

Wondering if too sick to go in to work also means too sick to put another coat of varathane on that new bulkhead for the Airstream.

[TWA640316]

Originally Posted by tiger

I am retiring in 112 days 22 minutes 54 seconds

I'm retiring in 211 days give or take a couple, and we still don't have our AS yet.

[Aviator]

I retire in 5,210 days. Yeah for me!

[Midnightmoon]

I don't think I'll ever retire.

[RUMSHIP]

8150 days for me. 5821 more work days.

[Lucky Dog]

Very funny, Ventport! Thanks for the laugh.

Rich

[mefly2]

Reading AF

[Nolavalkyrie]

Originally Posted by ventport

THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference..

Most excellent!!

[Ljsydney]

I don't have an Airstream yet but I've got a great multi-tabbed Excel spreadsheet loaded with thoughts on what to do with one when I get one...so I'm staring at it...and day dreaming...

[ineedair]

What did I do today? I searched craigslist for the perfect sofa for Rosie. I gave Our dog Spartacus a bath and I sewed on the front curtain panel for our Airstream.

[ROBERTSUNRUS]

Hi, been retired for five years; Planning our second Cruise Ship cruise.

[Wayne&Sam]

Been retired for 1,127 days, 4 hours and 57 minutes