To all Mothers

[rebel beck]

We are looking at the idea of enrolling our son in a private school this fall. We bought a house out in the county last fall so our son had to go to the county school. It has been the worst year he is in 2nd grade and is so unhappy. He play's soccer with most of his old friends from the city school and also very active in cub scouts with them.
I called to see if we could pay tuition and go back to the city schools, and was shocked to find out the county schools will not release him for us to do that. My son was is very smart and brings home A's and B's last year all A's but he has lost all desire to excel like I know he can so we are going to have to do something.
$4000 a year for private is going to be hard but I think there will be a way.
I just wanted some Airstreamer advice on this because I know we all have been faced with this sometime.


Becky

[kposey]

Becky, I am not a mother, but do work in the private school system. The public system here in Chattanooga is not the best either. I have seen families sacrifice a lot to be able to send their children to private schools. I definitely would check it out. Also, let you son visit the school for a day to see what he thinks. He may be young, but if it is not a good fit, it may not work so well either. Ask about financial aid also. You may not qualify, but it certainly does not hurt to see.

Good luck with finding the right school.

[Janet H]

One great teacher can make all the difference.

Years ago our son who was a highly motivated little kid, came home from the second grade saying he hated school. I didn't worry becasue his teacher was an award winning teacher who had the adoration of parents in our area. Then our son started refusing to go to school, had stomach aches, mystery illnesses, he said he hated reading, etc. I did some digging and spent some time in his class. The award winning teacher was this issue - she ruled her classs with ridicule and intimidation. We had our son placed in a different class and the results were amazing......

Moving is tough on kids but you need to rememeber that moving to another new school may be tough as well. If you go back to the old school, you will find it chnaged as well. His social circle will have morphed into a new one and he will be the new kid again.....

Maybe some new activites would help. Try a karate class, after school art program or theatre group. Start a new scout troop - you can be a leader. Change is tough, most of us don't do it gracefully, especially kids. It'll get better - give it time.

[fastrob]

Who are the best ones to teach your children the values most important to you?
We are wrapping up Homeschooling our 3. They were coming home from school angry. We felt forced into it. We made the choice to have someone at home, not a sacrifice, a choice. The school system has been helpful. At the school Superintendent's suggestion we joined 2 homeschoolers groups, one in our state and another national group for legal services. We joke about being the Hogwarts School of Homefoolers, but the childrens documented academic skills are proof.
Good luck,

R

[enduroryda]

Hi Becky...I feel for you in this dilemma. One suggestion would be to talk to some other parents of 3rd graders and ask them how their experience has been. A year can make a huge difference as others have said and one teacher can put a sour taste in any kids mouth. Been there and done that...sometimes you have to bite the bullet and hope for the best in the following year....in my case luckly we've had our good years and the tough one's. Also...have you spoken with his teacher?? Is he getting bullied?? This can be a huge factor in his desire to want to be there and his ability to focus...a little chat will sometimes do wonders. Take care...summers almost here

[tin sista]

Hi Becky,
Sorry to hear that your family is going through this.

How lucky your son is that you are interested in his progress and comfort in school! Great points made by everyone here. Homeschooling is hard work, and worth it if you can do it.

As mentioned above, there is a big difference between schools in various school districts, and private schools seem to have and reach higher standards.

You've probably already met with his teacher and you'd know if he was being bullied or something like that which would really turn a kid off, like mentioned above.

Whatever you decide, public or private, he might feel better about the subjects he struggles with if he had little workbooks this summer, you know starting with what he knows really well and then working up into the uncomfortable areas. Kumon workbooks or other workbooks are great, also there are professional tutoring places that can make a huge difference.

I've taught in public schools, we're weighing Montessori versus other types of schools. Right now my son is in a Montessori preschool and I have seen such a great response! I know that many private schools have wonderful programs for parents to consider.

Best wishes, lots of great advice here.

[rebel beck]

Great advice. We have been to the school at least 9 times this year. Next year for 3rd grade they are loosing 4 teachers and that leaves only one I could talk to other parents about and they all say no. I have not heard who the new teachers are.
After talking to several folks at church and around most comments about the county school system is neg. I wish we had checked more before we bought this house.
And yes I think it is the teacher, she was in the 5th grade last year and was moved to 2nd.
We had my son tested this year his IQ is 130 our eval stated Austin was depressed and the teachers eval stated mild hyper activity.
He has been unable to make friends at this school? When we camp I can't keep the kids away for wanting Austin to come play?
Thanks again for all the advice I guess this is going to be one of those tough parent call.


Becky

[wahoonc]

Becky,
I am going to weigh in...private schools are great but can be pricey. My DD had problems at school, it turned out to be the teacher. My DD did have minor learning disabilities. But with a different teacher and another year under her belt she did great all the way to high school. Then the battle began anew. I wish we could have home schooled but with both of us working and me on the road it was not an option for us. But both of my kids are in college and doing great in their chosen curicula. DS is a history/anthropolgy major at UNC-CH with an his eyes on a masters from Columbia and DD is a Sports Medicine/Physical Therapy major at WCU(Western Carolina) each one was on a different path by high school and it took intensive work with the admin and teaching staff at all of their schools. Unfortunately public education appears to be driven by test scores and not by what is best for the individual students.
Good luck and hope for the best!

Aaron

[rebel beck]

Aaron,
You must be the best dad and husband you alway's come up with the greatest comments and advice. My son is so smart and had a great teacher last year she used all his energy and applied it to how he learned all A's all year. This teacher this year has him stuck in a corner and has for the last 2 months there are 25 kids in his class and she seems not to have time to work with my son it is just so sad. We visit the private school Thursday, I was told they do have some monies available I sure hope so. And yes that is all the school worries about these day's are the test scores and the teachers are so worried they will lose there job if that score is not there. That is so bad for our children. Be glad yours are out.



Becky

[StingrayL82]

Originally Posted by rebel beck

...$4000 a year for private is going to be hard but I think there will be a way. Becky

$4000/yr for private school? You're getting a steal, Becky! The private Jesuit school I went to is now $10,000/yr. I was hoping to be able to send Michael there one day, but not anymore. To tell you the truth, though, I've had both educations, and the public school I graduated from was just as good academically as the private one.

Frederic

[Holzarbeiter]

Here is a Fathers view.
My oldest did great from kindergarden to early graduation in public schools. The first half was spent in NY the second in SC (known to have one of the worst public school systems in the country). She graduated early with all college prep courses.
After a divorce my ex wife moved an hour away to one of the worst public schools in the region (at least in my opinion). We decided that the private school was a better option. I am glad that we made this desicion, she is doing very well in school and seems to be a year ahead compared to her friends in public school.
For the extra 4 grand a year you get:
1- A smaller student body
2- More one on one time
3- Older students that tend to look after the younger ones (something that I noticed back from kindergarden)
4- More flexability in the curriculum

It is not easy to budget the extra money and there are a lot of hidden small fees, books to purchase, etc. A charter school might also be an option, I don't know much about them but have heard others praise them. I wish you well and it is good to see another concerned parent.

[early]

Becky.
We have had the same problem you have had. Our daughter is an average student who makes AB&C's. She is a social butterfly and has a great time in school, for the most part. Our son on the other hand is active and like yours has a very high IQ, we have spent alot of time at the school over the last 4 years and I am sick of it. We have done everything we know to do. We have had a couple of really good teachers, but one was on leave for 4 months and this year the teacher left right before springbreak and it;s been a nightmare with subs. He is in the gifted program but that's only 5 hours a week. Aaron is right about the state testing, they are constantly focusing on that. Our principle informed one lady that the students do better if they are on the same level. Meaning that the smarter kids could help the belower than average kids. I think each child should be able to learn according to their abilities. We had high school srudents last year tutoring elem kids for the state tests and they received A's in the classes they missed. It's a mess.
My son has actually been pulled from his class to go an help students in a lower grade and he's only in the 4th grade. We are definetley lokking at other options, but all the private schools are at least 35 miles away. We are considering homeschooling and hopefully he can get in the MS Science and Math school. Dawn

[rebel beck]

Dawn,
I think also it has something to do with Mississippi and boy's We just heard from a parent today they just pulled there 2 children out of the only private school here because they teach Latin to all the grades. We also are looking into home schooling.



Becky

[wahoonc]

Originally Posted by rebel beck

Dawn,
I think also it has something to do with Mississippi and boy's We just heard from a parent today they just pulled there 2 children out of the only private school here because they teach Latin to all the grades. We also are looking into home schooling.



Becky

And what is wrong with Latin? I took a couple of years of it and it helped my Chemistry and English scores in HS It is a good core course along with basic mathematics, English and History. The math teaches critical thinking skills (if it is taught correctly) the English; effective communication, then add in the basic earth science, geometry, and basic physics and you have it covered. Typing (except now the call it "keyboarding") can't hurt. Home Economics is a good course too unless you plan to eat out all the time

Aaron

[rebel beck]

Aaron,
I thought it was great they also have music, art, and all the other stuff they have taken away from the public school system.


Becky

[Uberlanders]

Originally Posted by rebel beck

We just heard from a parent today they just pulled there 2 children out of the only private school here because they teach Latin to all the grades.

Studies are showing that in inner cities, students who are way below grade level are increasing their reading levels and achievement levels in other courses do to some schools now teaching Latin again. Some kids who enter 3 years behind, only take a year to catch up.

Yes the Roman Empire did fall, but don't knock what Latin can do for someone's ability to decode, analyze, and be a disciplined student.

As far as public education and test scores....it is a political issue, not a teaching issue. We public school teachers are ruled by test scores, but that is not by choice. We beg administrators to access the whole child, but they are receiving the whip from the higher ups. If you want public education to change, choose your legislators, school board members, Presidents wisely.

I think what Janet pointed out is right on. Be in your child's class as much as possible. Be their advocate. When you have the choice, make sure you get your child placed with teachers that fit their learning styles. And sometimes it is the teacher, not the public education system, that is bad for the student.

I'll step down off my soap box now.

[Janet H]

Hey kathleen - it's off topic - but congrats on number 500!

[Uberlanders]

After two long days of state testing....I'll take a little joy in 500 posts.

[early]

Kathleen,
You are so right about the pressure on the schools about the state tests. I know we go every year to try and get our child placed with a teacher who will work with us and it has worked pretty good, but there are times when you just get tired of running back and forth to the school. The stress level amongst the teachers is sky high because of these tests and it put everybody on edge. I have one who almost topped the test last year, he missed two on the whole test and I want his education to continue to move forward, but we have to get teachers who will challenge him and it's so hard on them because they are trying to maintain a certain level for the whole school. My daughetr graduates next year and I'm just glad she made it, but I still have 8 more years to go with my son. Somehow we will make it though. Good luck to you with your teaching
Dawn

[rebel beck]

We met with the private school today and it was just as expected we loved it of course you pay for that. My son will be going there in the fall, there will be 15 in his class he was the last one for the class. I think we will be able to get some assistance for the enrollment we have sent all the paperwork in and have our fingers crossed. It's almost like a burden has been lifted the Head master was sooooo nice and understanding as I explained my son to him. And things he told us sounded so reassuring that this is the right choice for us.
And yes for all you public school teachers and test scores I pray for you our school system's are all in the Government's hands and that is a shame, these are little people our future and they have no rights unless we as parents do something about it.