Onalee

[richinny]

Originally Posted by ROBERT CROSS

My Brother and I could never understand all the commotion whenever Mom was introduced. "Oh my, what a beautiful name. I don’t ever recall anyone with that name." "Is it a family tradition?" To us she was just
"Mom", Onalee was what the other people called her.

Born here in Buffalo and growing up during the Depression, one of the most important things to Onalee was her "best friend" Ellie. I can’t speak for
the rest of you, but the concept of a "best friendship" that has lasted over
eighty two years is almost beyond belief. There were the usual trials and
tribulations over the years, but the one that was the hardest for them to deal with was the constant family moves during the Depression years. Like so many during that time, as the financial situation worsened, one or the other’s family would be forced to move. The girls would say there tearful good-byes, thinking they would never see one another again, only to have one or the other of the families move into the same neighborhood. This leap-froging around Buffalo continued thru WWII and well into the 40’s. The last move was within two miles of one another here in the suburbs in 1952.
Well, when Ellie passed away in October 2007, Onalee insisted on going to the funeral. She would not be dissuaded, after all Marian was also a good friend, and she was still driving. "Don’t you worry, I’ve been taking care of myself ever since your Father died, we’ll be fine." So off they went on the appointed day, with yours truly following on the QT, a discrete distance behind.
All turned out well, and it was several weeks later that the pre-planning of her own funeral came up. We all agreed that it would be a real good idea, so the necessary appointments were made, and when the time came we were all off like a dirty shirt. Having no previous experience with anything like this we really didn’t know what to expect.
None of us like to be pre- judged, and we certainly would like to think that we have an open mind and would never stereotype anyone else, but a Funeral Director, this was really uncharted grounds for all of us! Stereotype?, maybe, but John was just what you might expect, very professional, polite, understanding and just a little too "formal".
"Hello John, my name is Bob, this is my wife Sandra, and my mother Onalee Crosse.
"Onalee, what a beautiful name, very unusual, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone with that name." We continued on thoroughly discussing all aspects of the planning.
"Yes Mrs. Crosse, we can have the entire service here at this facility."
"No Mrs. Crosse, we are not allowed to serve refreshments in lieu of a Funeral Lunch."
"Yes Mrs. Crosse, we will faithfully follow all your requests made here today."
Well you get the idea, very proper indeed. Now it’s time to select the casket. Not an easy thing to do under the best of circumstances. But Onalee’s eyesight has been failing over the last few years, and explaining to her exactly what we were looking at was one of the areas I was worried about. She had long ago decided that a plain wooden casket was what she wanted.
So as she ran her hands over each offering, we tried our best to describe each one. She had picked the one that she liked, it had a very smooth finish, and she described the exterior color as, "just perfect."
"Yes Mom, the lining is the right color, it will go very well with what you have chosen to ware." "No it’s not too fancy, believe us, it is just perfect for
you."
John, "Yes Mrs. Crosse, I think this one is a very good choice."
Mom, being thoroughly "old school" wanted to make sure.
"Can you open it up completely so I can check it all out?"
"Why yes certainly, Mrs. Crosse."
Mom "inspected" the inside of the casket, running her hands over everything, I could tell she was up to something. I just didn’t know what. Finally she looked up at John and said, "You know young man, I’m 93 years old, and I need to be comfortable when I’m laying down." Now to say that John was at a loss for the proper answer would be an understatement. He looked at me and I just shook my head and smiled, while my wife was rolling her eyes and looking toward the ceiling. John finally smiled himself and said…."Well Onalee I just know you’ll be extremely comfortable for a very long time." ….The ice was broken.

It was Onalee from then on.

She and Ellie are now re-united, John the Funeral Director got the oportunity
Meet a very SPECIAL person, and Sandra and I have many, many wonderful memories.

Not to mention….a new cat.

Onalee Crosse 1/30/1914--12/24/2007

WOW! what else can i say after reading that? i'm sorry i missed that post. i'm sure your mom had a smile a mile wide when you wrote that. my condolences for the loss of your mom. you should submit that to Reader's Digest.

[ROBERT CROSS]

We miss you Mom.

[danalee]

I was thinking of you today.

[Happycampers]

Robert... NO MOM could ask for a better tribute... I am sure she is smiling as all read this ..

[safari57]

Yep, Mom's are special. It is nice to remember them on days like today and know that they are still held tightly in our hearts.

[maxandgeorgia]

I think that today we just shared our last Christmas with my mom, nearly 92 years old, living with us this past year after diagnosis of bladder cancer with maximum life expectancy of three months. Well, is she showing her doctors! Nearly a year later, she has seen another Christmas with her family around her. She was determined to reach today and celebrate just as she wanted, even with snowfall. What a happy day Thank you Robert for your beautiful tribute. It makes us all remember our moms and if possible hug them tightly one more time. ~G

[loudruff]

Lost my mom, Elletra, in March. This is the first Christmas that I have had to spend without her. A very sad day. I really miss her cuz she loved Christmas time. In her younger days she made a handmade gift for everyone. Merry Christmas everyone.

[Gene]

Bob, very moving and I'm sure she was as unique as her name.

Gene

[ROBERT CROSS]

We miss you Mom....

[safari57]

Yep, Bob, we know of what you speak.

We used to make a 12 to 15 hour each way trip back to our home town to spend Christmas with our mom's. As much as we disliked the drive through the mountains, snow and cold, the warmth of our Mom's love awaiting us was always well worth it.

Now that we don't have that trip to make we have a comfortable Christmas in our own home, but it is a lot lonelier. But we know that like Onalee, we know that as long as we hold them dear in our hearts and thoughts our mom's are watching over us.

Merry Christmas,

[noreen&sal]

Just saw this thread for the first time and I'm fighting back tears and I'm losing the fight. Sal

[Gene]

Bob,

We don't get to choose our parents, but it looks like you got the mother you would have chosen. My mother died 12 years and 59 weeks ago, and she rarely lived up to my expectations, but I still miss her regardless of her faults (and my father too—17 years ago).

Gene

[ROBERT CROSS]

Another year has passed….

Sandra and I finally decided to attend a Christmas Eve service last night, the first since you left. It was difficult.

I remember your always telling Doug and I when it came time to sing…."don't worry about what the folks here think about how you sound, it's whats heard in Heaven thats important, there is no insult to an Angels ear." I hope thats true because my ears are still ringing.
Not from the wonder of a well played Pipe Organ or the voices from the Choir……from drums, two electric guitars and a Yamaha amplified keyboard.

Well, we did sing Silent Night, with the words beamed on the ceiling.

I know this is a favorite....

The Christmas Lasagna is all made…wish you were here to enjoy.

All our Love,

Sandra, Bob, Misty & Fado

[andreasduess]

My condolences, Robert. Onalee sounds like the kind of mother any kid would be glad to have and an all round wonderful person.

I had a very close relationship with my maternal grandmother. She stood by me during a time when things got difficult with my parents, protecting, guiding, never interfering.

I am not particularly religious, but I swear I can still feel her looking over me to this day when I need her wisdom and compassion.

I wish you a merry Christmas - I am sure she'd be wanting you to have it.

[Gene]

Five years is so long and so short. Wrap yourself in the memories, good and bad, and move on. Another new year is nigh.

Gene

[ROBERT CROSS]

Feels like yesterday...We love you Mom.

Bob, Sandra, Pirate & Misty

[Gene]

Wow, 10 years. Glad you have good memories.

[OTRA15]

Now thirteen years . . .

Originally Posted by ROBERT CROSS

. . .
Onalee Crosse 1/30/1914--12/24/2007

Rest in Peace.

[Goin camping]

Merry Christmas Onalee.

You are remembered and cherished.

[ROBERT CROSS]

"There is no death, only a change of worlds"
Chief Seattle

We love, we remember. RIP

Bob & Sandra