FYE: New Airlines

[sovereignrwe]

Subject: New Airline



YA SHURE, YA BETCHA! DIS IS DA LATEST AIR SERVICE TO SPROUT UP IN MINNYSOTA. ALSO SERVING VISCONSIN, NORT AND SOUT DAKOTA

If you are travelin soon, consider Lutran (Lutheran) Air, da no-frills

airline. You're all in da same boat on Lutran Air, vhere flyin is a

upliftin experience. Dere is no first class on any Lutran Air flight.

Meals are potluck. Rows 1-6, bring rolls; 7-15, bring a salad; 16-21, a

main dish, and 22-30, a dessert. Basses and tenors please sit in da rear

of da aircraft.

Everyvon is responsible for his or her own baggage. All fares are by

freevill offerin and da plane vill not land 'til da budget is met.

Pay attention to your flight attendant, who vill acquaint you vit da safety

system aboard dis Lutran Air 599.

Okay den, listen up. I'm only gonna say dis vonce. In da event of a sudden

loss of cabin pressure, I am frankly going to be real surprised and so

vill Captain Olson, because ve fly right around two tousand feet, so loss

of cabin pressure vould probably mean da Second Comin or someting of dat

nature, and I vouldn't bodar vit doze liddle masks on da rubber tubes.

You're gonna have bigger tings to vorry about den dat. Yust stuff doze back

up in dair little holes. Probably da masks fell out because of turbulence

vich, to be honest vit you, ve're going to have quite a bit of at two

tousand feet.. .sort a like driving across a plowed field, but after a vile

you get used to it.

In da event of a vater landing, I'd say forget it. Start saying da Lord's

Prayer and yust hope you get to da part about forgive us our sins as ve

forgive doze who sin against us, vich some people say "trespass against

us," vich isn't right, but vhat can you do?

Da use of cell phones on da plane is strictly forbidden, not because day

may confuse da plane's navigation system, vich is seat of da pants all da

vay. No, it's because cell phones are a pain in da vazoo, and if God meant

you to use a cell phone, He vould have put your mout on da side of your

head.

Ve start lunch right about noon and it's buffet style vit da coffee pot up

front. Den we'll have da hymn sing; hymnals are in da seat pocket in front

of you. Don't take yours vit you ven you go or I am goin to be real upset

and I am not kiddin!

Right now I'll say Grace. "Come, Lord Yesus, be our guest and let deze

gifts to us be blessed. Fadar, Son, and Holy Ghost, may ve land in Dulut

or pretty close. Amen!

[markjoandall]

Mark,

That was a good von. We drove across MN last summer on I90 and stopped in Austin to have breakfast. Had Spam and eggs across the street from the SPAM Museum. Then we visited the museum. Bought a lot of SPAM stuff. Pricey but fun. If you haven't been there it's a good stop.

Mark

[sovereignrwe]

Originally Posted by markjoandall

Mark,

That was a good von. We drove across MN last summer on I90 and stopped in Austin to have breakfast. Had Spam and eggs across the street from the SPAM Museum. Then we visited the museum. Bought a lot of SPAM stuff. Pricey but fun. If you haven't been there it's a good stop.

Mark

So ya enjoy'd da museum over der! Ve ar glad ta hav ya visit! Dat der 90 is a long stretch of flat road, west of 35.

[flyfisher]

Ya guys frum Minnysota are bound to half sum trouble flyin at two thousand veet. Ya neet to git higher up'n da AIRSTREAM, I tink.

[canny_banjo_man]

Wot a matter wid de SPAM MAN... My Gran Bless Her used 2 feed Me Spam, bk in the late '50's, wow I used 2 eat it like there was NOt gonna B a tommorow...LOL, but sadly I can't face it now, She told Me stories of how the American Airmen, stationed in Suffolk, near Her home, over here in England, after the war, She said WE were very LUCKY, as WE never went short of anything from the Airmen...& By all accounts, my Auntie said NOR did the Airmen go short...but that's another story...Good night...Chris.....