A Very Different Kind of Life

[Lily&Me]

Yes.

I hate it.

Doug would say "people oughta be what they oughta be".


Maggie

[Lily&Me]

Well, two women got 6 fence posts in (with a manual post-hole digger), straight, even and cemented down in about 4 hours. Son is bringing his cordless drill this afternoon, and we will attach the panels. Voila! Fence! And not for $757.00 in labor.

The grands helped with the fence, transferred items from the garage into the new shed and spent the night. Grandma made fish and french fries on the patio in Grandpa's fryer, didn't burn anything or anyone. The boys slept in the shed and had a blast. Such big stuff for them. Pancakes this morning, and we raised a fork to Grandpa. Their first overnight since his death, and it was okay.

I pause at least once every day, look around and think "what??". His absence just hits me. I miss him.

Rain and other inclement weather this coming week. Will force me to focus on inside things. The back bedroom is a wreck.

Looking at other threads, but can't quite get myself into them. Don't feel like I have much to give, but it will come.

It's been 7 weeks since my life changed. Doing pretty darned well, I think.

Thanks for listening,


Maggie

[GCinSC2]

That last post is WORTHLESS w/o Pic's!

Gotta see the results and blisters.

You go Maggie!!!!!

Gary

[Lily&Me]

Well, we don't have the panels in place yet.

We wore gloves, so no blisters. But, I ached from head to toe when I went to bed last night. Truly. Even with extra strength Tylenol.

I tell myself this is good for my aging bones. It is.


Maggie

[Gene]

There's a long history of women being overcharged by contractors or paying too much for cars. Sad but true.

If he had a power auger he could dig the holes in less than an hour and with mixing quick drying cement for posts and setting the posts straight, another hour or so. Come back another day after the cement sets and screw the fencing to the posts—another hour or two. Sometimes these guys bid a small job high because they don't want small jobs. They don't know, of course, that they won't be called back for a big job.

Paula's right—newcomers to the profession often undercharge to get work or because they don't know how to bid. Since they may not have enough experience, they may work slowly and it comes out even in the end. Same is true for lawyers as well as contractors.

We put in 100' of split cedar fencing in a couple of days without an augur—digging with a shovel in hard packed clay (dry clay is as hard as adobe and you have to wet the hole to dig) with the usual Rocky Mountain rocks to dig out. We also had to pull out old barbed wire fencing for that stretch. Everything hurt—muscles, joints, body parts we didn't know we had. I wonder what a bid would have been for that job?

Good work Maggie.

Gene

[Lily&Me]

It took son, myself and his cordless drill about an hour to put the panels in place with 4" screws, and that included cutting part of one panel off.

Gate piece is tied in place for now, will do that hardware another day. Can probably handle that all by myself.

It is not 100% perfect, but it is pretty darned good for a couple of amateurs, and will do just fine.

Raining now, on my freshly sown grass seed.


Maggie

[mimiandrews]

Congratulations, Maggie. You did it!

[xrvr]

You would have to go into town, find a parking space and walk to the courthouse here in Gainesville to get a building permit and tgen have it inspected when you are done. Regardless if tour neighbors like the fence or not. Jim

[Lily&Me]

Originally Posted by mimiandrews

Congratulations, Maggie. You did it!

Thank you.

We did.

We don't need building permits here for such things, being an older neighborhood without the ordinances of the newer ones.

Didn't need a permit for the shed, either, as long as it is not on a permanent foundation. These from Home Depot are on steel frames.


Maggie

[xrvr]

Glad all is working out for you. Keep going! Jim

[Lily&Me]

Thank you, Jim.

The overwhelming support, encouragement and kindness I have received through these Forums has touched me deeply.

I will always be grateful and never forget it.


XO Maggie

[webspinner]

Maggie, your strength and persistence are an inspiration. Yes, I know sometimes it is just having the strength to keep going, but that is its own bravery. I am always glad to come back to this thread and see that you are still continuing on, with some ups and some downs, keeping it real.

I find, as I pick up bits of wisdom and perspective from your daily musings, that I'm starting to look at my own world differently. Thank you for that.

I wish you all the best. It sounds like you've got a lot of the best - with grandkids and backyard gatherings that you know how to enjoy.

[Lily&Me]

Thank you.

Having an adult child and his family a mile away has indeed been one of life's gifts, especially during this time in our lives.

As exhausted as I have been from all these outdoor muscle-ings about, my sleep has been terrible the last couple of weeks. Can't get to sleep, can't stay asleep. Took an over-the-counter sleep aid last night.

A rainy day today. Going to tackle the back bedroom and get some of his things sorted for his kids.

Rain is good. My grass seed will sprout.


Maggie

[xrvr]

New growth in the spring for your new life. Jim

[Lily&Me]

Maggie

[overlander63]

Originally Posted by doug&maggie

But, I ached from head to toe when I went to bed last night. Truly. Even with extra strength Tylenol.

Got any pictures of the Tylenol?

[Lily&Me]

If I'd had anything stronger, believe me, I would have taken it.

The fence is real, not an illusion. And, it looks pretty good. If you get close, can see a few imperfections.....

Will post a picture once I have the gate hardware on.



Maggie

[Lily&Me]

Sorting his clothes and going thru drawers, determined to get the great lot of that dealt with in these next few rainy days. I've been gathering boxes and tossing them into the back room. It looks very unloving and disrespectful back there, and that's not how I feel.

Some things his boys might be interested in, most of them they won't....either because of the style or the size. They being M and their Dad being L. My son and son-in-law, who need professional clothing, can put some of those things to good use.

I simply cannot open a closet and see nothing of his hanging there. I can't do it, and don't know if that time will ever come. Some things can just hang in my closet indefinitely. The heavy, wool jacket sweater he wore on very cold days will stay in my dresser drawer, too, along with the tshirt we bought him in Paris.....and a couple of others from places very special to us.

In the bottom of a drawer he had soccer jerseys from when his boys were small, also a couple of infant onezies. What a soft and sentimental man he was inside. I loved that about him, and you had to be very close to him to know it. A secret carefully hidden behind his manly, rather macho exterior.

Went to see my longtime chiropractor/homeopath/holistic health care practitioner yesterday, for an overall, quarterly or so, tune-up. I love this man. He changed my life, and exposed me to an entirely different approach to keeping the body functioning and resolving issues without prescription medication.

He had not known of Doug's death, but had met him several times and resolved very quickly several years ago chronic shoulder pain of Doug's.... making him a believer. As I'm telling the story, crying a bit and explaining that the only real problem right now is sleep, he said "why, you're a little depressed".

Of course I'm a little depressed. Why didn't that occur to me. Classic symptoms.

Was reading something yesterday about how helpful it can be to journal during the grieving process.

Yes, it is.

Thanks for listening,


XO Maggie

[Air Cruiser]

I know exactly how you are feeling re: having a few of Doug's things hanging or in drawers. When my sister, Roxie, passed at age 58, 10 years ago now (where has the time gone?), I chose a few of her things to hang in my closet just to have her near. I realize now that I was in shock from her sudden passing, no time to prepare myself, but a much better way for her to go.

I believe the process of accepting a loved ones passing is in stages & those stages take as long as they take.

Deb

[Lily&Me]

Yes, and thank you.

I think I'm still in shock, really.

It's like I've lost a part of me....which I have.


Maggie