A Different Life II

[Lily&Me]

Had the Interstate serviced by the good folks at Don Owen yesterday, then dropped it off at TeVoert Electric to look at the inverter, et al.

Just had a call from them, and the culprit was the wire that connects the inverter to the fuse board, if I have that right?

Mimi and perhaps others suggested a loose wire was the culprit, and that in fact was the case. Hallelujah!

They’ve put a full load on it, and everything seems to be now running at 100%.

In all fairness to the guy in Louisiana who found the 15 amp fuse where a 30 amp belonged, there was probably no reason to believe at the time that that was not the problem.

Sooo, I don’t have to spring for a new inverter, and we’ll see if my new in December coach battery is salvageable when I make a run to Mississippi next month.

If the battery is damaged, I’ll have time to get it replaced before summer activities.


I finished this book last night…Second Watch, by J.A. Jance…and tho it was good I would not call it excellent.

A crime mystery, about a cold case, solved by a Detective who is a Vietnam veteran, so interspersed with those memories and tasks still needing done, who early on has both knees replaced and relies heavily on an IPad …also about love and loss, getting thru and getting by.

I particularly connected with the feelings associated with grief fatigue, for lack of a better term, and the holding in one’s hand something that our loved one had once touched.

I still have some of those things…Doug’s wallet in a small dresser drawer that was his, the heavy gloves he used to haul firewood, which I still use for the same, a bill in my cash stash that is the last one of that denomination left from when he was alive, and other things.

I don’t touch them without remembering him, that’s just the way it is, and that is okay.

Like this aluminum pot that belonged to my Mississippi Grandmother, which I clearly recall filled with green beans and a ham hock on the back of her stove…and in which I made chicken soup this morning.

Tangible. Memories.

[mimiandrews]

If the battery is damaged, I’ll have time to get it replaced before summer activities.

A battery shop can test that battery for you and tell you if it's still good. Might keep you from being stranded somewhere.

[Lily&Me]

Thanks, Mimi.

Maggie

[tlundell]

Hi, Maggie...Yes, the tangible manifestation of memories. It was almost two years before I could empty Penny's closets and dressers, with a bounty of her treasured clothes and shoes for those in need. But there were a few that I'll keep and look at wistfully...her favorite slippers, the dress she bought for our son's wedding that she could not hold on long enough to attend, that favorite hoody she wore when we camped in Gizmo. For me, the jury is still out on whether these kinds of things help or hinder escaping "grief fatigue"...but for now they are very important to keep.
Tim

[Al and Missy]

Hi Maggie,

I'm late to the party, but I have a battery maintainer that I use on our car that gets left here when we head out with the truck and trailer and I put it on the truck which seldom gets driven when we are home. Its equalization mode can reverse the effects of long term storage. It comes with two sets of plug-in battery leads. I put the leads with ring terminals on the truck and use the leads with alligator clips on the car. Without the maintainer my truck will kill a good battery in a few weeks if it is not run.

The good ones are moderately expensive, but will not overcharge a battery.

This is the one I bought. It kept the car battery up for 5 months last year.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0...0?ie=UTF8&th=1

Al

[Lily&Me]

Thank you, Al, and hope you and your lovely wife are doing well.

I won’t be able to to put the minder on the Interstate when I am home, as I don’t have it in that kind of storage, but going out there to run it once a month or so, or take a short drive, has generally kept that battery from failing when I am home for a few months.


Good to hear from you, Tim.

Our person is always with us, is the inescapable truth.

I remember picking out Doug’s favorite dress clothing to bury him in, then later taking almost all of the rest of those to a place here in town that helps men re-enter life and the workforce.

The men in the family had picked a tie to keep, some of his sweaters and things like that went to son and son in law, or to older grands on Dougs side of the family, etc.

My son the other day had on a fleece lined flannel shirt that had been Doug’s, one of two he often wears in the winter.

Sigh. We go on.

It’s a process, not an event.

Maggie

[tallytwo1994]

Originally Posted by tlundell

Hi, Maggie...Yes, the tangible manifestation of memories. It was almost two years before I could empty Penny's closets and dressers, with a bounty of her treasured clothes and shoes for those in need. But there were a few that I'll keep and look at wistfully...her favorite slippers, the dress she bought for our son's wedding that she could not hold on long enough to attend, that favorite hoody she wore when we camped in Gizmo. For me, the jury is still out on whether these kinds of things help or hinder escaping "grief fatigue"...but for now they are very important to keep.
Tim

Tim,

I can certainly relate to the lack of inclination to give away the clothing of your deceased spouse. My husband passed away in August, and the only things I’ve been able to give away have been the newer clothes or clothes he almost never wore. Those he hadn’t worn long enough to become part of his persona. I have decided to make some items for the kids and grandkids, as well as for me, from his favorite shirts and his wrangler jeans. My step daughter wants a white pocket-tee. He worn them like a uniform. I’ll make her a bag from jeans and cotton shirts, and one for his sister. The two grandsons will get a quilt with some of his clothing included, and the two year old granddaughter will get a rag doll or maybe a bunny. I’ll make something for myself as well but it can certainly wait for a while until I decide. I still have things that were my fathers and he died 22 years ago. They just remind me of the fond memories. Only when I’m having a bad day do these things bring on a deluge of tears. But that’s ok too. It reminds me of how much I loved him.

Carol

[Lily&Me]

I have had a difficult week, and an almost completely sleepless night last night, but seem to have reached this afternoon the downhill slide back into calm.

My Town, which isn’t a bad Town, but has definitely dropped the ball regarding some issues on our little street, is looking very much as tho the wealthy are more favored and protected while we middle class working/retired peoples in the low rent district just have to take whatever the Town wants to give.

I and others are fed up, and in the process of taking more serious steps.

We signed a petition last year to have a question put on the November ballot about dividing our Town into wards, so that each council member has to reside in the ward they represent…which we don’t currently have, and most of our council members are from one area of town.

The petition got a lot of signatures, but not enough to get on the ballot, and our Mayor as well as a number of council members actively opposed allowing residents to choose this…and that lack of area representation may be at the root of their inaction.

However, my being not only a pretty articulate sort, but also a rather compulsive recorder of important events and very much inclined to put things in writing , my documentation on some chronic but unresolved issues has been pulled together…and we are fixin’ to take a stand.

We have a good case, so we’ll see what happens, and I do believe that sometimes difficult things come to us as individuals because we are best equipped to deal with them.

Always try to meet your moments, right?

I’ll report back once the dust settles, and let y’all know how things turn out.

This is just me venting a bit.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Maggie

[Lily&Me]

So I did my thing, pulled my documentation together and had a mess of 8x10 color photos printed up that I mounted on poster board.

Never underestimate the power of the written word.

They weren’t ready for me , thought perhaps that a woman of my age would come in feeble and whining, fumbling and unorganized…but that is just not me, not even on my worst day, and especially not when I have reached my limit on something.

It’s not over, but the issues seem to now have the attention they need, and we feel good about it.

We’ll see. I told them that if this did not end, I would be back with more photos.

Some battles need to be fought, the LilyDale medium told me last year, and I think that always try to meet your moment is going to become my new, personal slogan.

You’ll be glad you did, as it is empowering to take hold of a problem, define it and deal with it.

And we only have so much time on this earth, so try to leave a mark, something improved because you were there to deal with it, right?


We are having insane weather here, lots of storms, tornadoes everywhere but missing us, huge fluctuations in temperatures, and today it is 80 and humid…but I’ll be back to needing a fire in a couple of days.

The trees and spring things are very confused, start popping up only to get frost bitten, then they try to come back and it gets cold again.

It’s one of those years.

Maggie

[Lily&Me]

We are back to spring-like temperatures here, and flowering, leafing abounds.

I love this time of year, not as much as the Fall, but there is a renewal with Spring that touches me somewhere inside.

However, the yard and beds around the house have required lots of attention, and so I have been chopping away at that in between other things this week.

It’s why I don’t generally travel in the Spring, tho as I am raking and pulling and hauling and dumping I tell myself there will come a time when I can’t do this.

But, I ain’t there yet , tho I’m glad I don’t have to get everything done in a day or two because I have to return to work on Monday.

Good for my aging bones, and tomorrow morning 3, 40lb bags of topsoil will be hauled from the trunk of my car…via the Gorilla Cart I bought the year Doug died…to the back yard, so that I can fill the holes possums have dug around my shed when we’ve been gone.

Soon as we are home they are gone because of Lily, of course, but that doesn’t keep them from returning the next year.

Doug’s Mother was still on a riding lawnmower at 95, I believe, or very close to that, tho she had someone mowing the ditches by the road for her.

She was always glad to still be able to do much for herself, and I feel the same way…good for my aging bones.

We don’t tend to live into our 90’s in my family, but maybe I’ll be the first.


Still wrestling some with our Town, tho we have definitely gotten their attention via the presentation, a letter to the editor and the beginning of local media coverage.

I hope there is more, as there are several different angles needing exploration.

This has been a very enlightening experience, I not having paid much attention to how our Town is being run…until issues close to home have forced myself and neighbors to deal with things, then we see an attempted suppression of facts and all the usual political rigamarole I thought I had left behind me years ago.

Enlightening, but they underestimate me if they think I am old, feeble and will just go quietly into the dark of night.

One doesn’t ever want to really tick off an Aries woman.

At any rate, it has been a full week.


Will be at my son’s tomorrow, the guest who brings homemade biscuits and brownies.

Middle grandson came by yesterday, on his way to register for classes at the junior college near me, to check out his student nest in the back bedroom, get a walk thru of where things are, hear a couple of ground rules spoken, etc.

He’s a good boy, and I am enjoying the privilege of not only being the only surviving grandparent but of having a good relationship with these kids.

I am able to do things with them and for them that their other grandparents did not have the opportunity to do…and, it’s a good thing.

Hope everyone is enjoying some sunshine and warmth this weekend.

Maggie

[Lily&Me]

Nothing too exciting going on at the little house.

Still working on the beds around the house, spreading mulch, giving shrubs and flowering things some plant food, cutting this and that back… all that exciting spring stuff, and I’m happy to report that neat & tidy is coming.


I started reading “The Magic of Ordinary Daye”, by Ann Howard Creel, last night, and struggled to put it down..

https://www.amazon.com/Magic-Ordinar.../dp/0143119958

WWII from the perspective of a young woman in Colorado who finds herself in unforeseen circumstances, and making friends with young Japanese women in nearby internment camps.

We don’t hear much about that these days…the Japanese herded into camps in this country during the war, also German POW’s located in the US who were put to work on our farms.

Very interesting.


Going to do a brief trip into the Deep South for a reunion this next week, may poke around Tennessee a bit on my way home…see how my newly repaired inverter performs and what kind of shape my coach battery is in after the trials of the winter.

I haven’t done a spring trip in longer than I can remember, and weather is just about perfect.

Just checking in.

Maggie

[Lily&Me]

From “The Magic of Ordinary Days”…

I read something in recent months about our and animals instinct to get up when we are down, that our survival instincts require we immediately try to get back on our feet.

[Nelson428]

Hope you have a safe trip down south take your time and enjoy late spring and watch out for those thunderstorms.

[Lily&Me]

Thank you, and I will do all that.

I could drive it in a day, but am going to take two.

Everything will be in full bloom, and I haven’t been down there this time of year in longer than I remember.

Maggie

[Lily&Me]

Two long but uneventful drive days and we are in southern Mississippi.

Came down 61 and thru the little town of Rolling Fork, devastated by a tornado last month…a few buildings standing, but mostly piles of debris as far as one can see, tents and recovery workers.

All is well, but we are tired and glad to be still.

Maggie

[Lily&Me]

Have had a lovely few days hanging out here with Nan, talking, talking and talking.

Reunion was today, learned from another family member that the 220+ year old house here that I have talked about so many times has floorboards that utilized the timbers that came from wagons made out of those from the flatboats that carried them came down the Rivers from Tennessee.

She had been in the house years ago, when the last owners were still there, and they had been told this story by the original family.

So when I stood on those floorboards in my sock feet 10-12 years ago, I had my feet on those same timbers that carried my ancestors and all their possessions from Tennessee to Natchez, MS.

In 1806. Incredible.

We are heading out in the morning, going to pick up the Natchez Trace and take it into Tennessee, where we are meeting up with a friend for a couple of nights before turning toward home.

I haven’t been on the Trace in years, and it should be beautiful.

Been a good trip.

Maggie

[Nelson428]

The Natchez Trace is still a Beautiful Drive with lots of things to see along the way you will enjoy that and it will bring back memories from years ago. Just don’t forget the speed limit is 50 on the Trace and any violations are Federal. Still a very beautiful and peaceful drive. I know you will enjoy every mile.

[Lily&Me]

Hi, Nelson, and it has been a slow but beautiful drive today.

Not much traffic going North, much more heading south, and was able to snag one of the few campsites in the free campground off the Trace, near where Merriweather Lewis died and is buried.

Glad I didn’t delay any longer getting in here, as nearly every site is already taken.

Lily is pooped from the long drive, and is having a nap before eating her dog food, poor baby.

May take the train to southern MS next year for this reunion, we’re thinking.

Lily could stay with my son, the train would let me off just a few miles from my cousins house…no long drive, no wear and tear on the vehicle.

I’m going to look into it.

Maggie

[Nelson428]

Good Morning, hope all is well with you today ! The train is such a fun trip I took a trip up to DC and loved it. I think train travel is returning. I’d like to take the VIA rail across Canada that looks like a lots of fun to me.

I had the Moh’s surgery you did in almost the exact same spot mine was a little closer to my hairline (well where it use to be [emoji6]) and then another spot on my crown. Hopefully once I get the stitches I can get out and about for the summer.

Glad you had a great trip and we’re able to find accommodations traveling.

[Lily&Me]

Thank you, Nelson, and it was a good trip.

Hope your surgical areas heal up well. I was a bit horrified at the size of the Mohs incision, and haven’t let them come near me with a scalpel since.

If I have another melanoma, that would be a different story, but for a basal cell carcinoma? Probably not.


Met up with a friend in TN for two nights, had no usable signal but a good visit with her, and we were on the road about 6:15 this morning to head for home.

9 hours of travel , Tennessee to Kentucky to Indiana to Illinois, and we are here.

A LOT of driving in a week’s time, not the way I prefer to travel, and the train to southern Mississippi next year is sounding better and better.

Maggie