A Different Life II

[kswelsh]

Maggie, we are getting ready to be hit by the remains of "Bill" up from Texas. We have many rivers at "crest" now with all the rain and they are expecting some major flooding this weekend. Our yard looks like a lush and slightly overgrown and shaggy forest retreat with all the rain. We did have such a good time at Moraine View Rally. I appreciate you posting your recipes on your blog. I also appreciate Dana posting her recipe for those yummy nut rolls with marshmallows. Have a good week and try to stay dry - Kevin may have to build an Ark for us pretty soon

[Lily&Me]

We're not supposed to have rain again til mid day......I will be gone to Peoria and the dentist this morning, but look for my yard guys to show up, in this window of opportunity, while I am gone.

Take care, Kathy, and try to stay dry.


Maggie

[Lily&Me]

You know there has been a lot of rain when the city of Normal is parked across your street, monitoring the hose end of a giant pump that is pulling water from back yards into the street and sewer system.

I don't know how high the water got over there, but it must have been approaching the houses for the city to get involved......and, the rain is not over.

My yard guys got me mowed this morning, as expected, while my bi-annual trip to the dentist was happily uneventful.


I have begun listening to the radio....just in the car. Early in the long trip this past winter, I stood in a restaurant waiting area and heard three of our favorite songs, back to back. I suspected at the time that Doug was trying to give me a nudge that direction, as I have strictly avoided listening to music since he died. I finally started, just in the car, a month or two ago.

Doug loved jazz, blues, 50's & 60's oldies, hard rock, MoTown, The Beach Boys, Dr. John, Kermit Ruffin, Willie Nelson, Frank Sinatra, ad infinitum......and, probably 15 or so years ago, we developed a love for "soft" country.....Kenny, Toby, George, Tim, Patsy, etc. We would be cleaning the little house, reading the papers on a Sunday afternoon, etc., and he would say "let's have some tunes", then make selections from the stack of music we had accumulated.

Doug would also, always, make the selections for the road trip, CD carry case....a combination of his, ours, and mine....his last selections are still in that carry case, in our entertainment center. When I can get into the CD's, I will deal with those.

Listening to our favorite local music station on the way to Peoria, one favorite after another comes on, and I feel sad but am doing it, humming or singing along......thinking, somewhere Doug is smiling, and nodding his head.....especially when I heard "funny how a melody, sounds like a memory, like a soundtrack to a July Saturdy night...."

Being together 27+ years, I don't think there is any song we didn't listen to together at some point in time....or many times, depending.......songs from grade school, high school and beyond. At least, that's the way it feels.

It is all now the soundtrack to my former life, where I was Doug's longtime girlfriend, and then his wife.....when we dated, went to concerts, went thru trials and tribulations of various sorts, married, danced in the kitchen, played "remember when?", went thru trials and tribulations of various sorts, listened for hours to "the voice of the Cape" that glorious week in October 1996 that we spent on Cape Cod ......and sang along as we roamed the country, and tootled down those retirement roads together. All that.

Memories, everywhere, and he knows it.

That's why he wants me to listen to music, so I don't forget our years together, as if I would.....all the good times and the bad, the for better and for worse parts, are all set to music of some sort.

He wants me to remember, to re-live, to appreciate the good, be glad we pulled thru those trials and tribulations, and that we made it out the other end.

Not to worry, honey.


Maggie

[DIR1]

that made me misty eyed.... hugs to you Maggie... pats to Lily...

[Lily&Me]

Yesterday was the first day here without rain in longer than I can remember. Yeayyyy!

Not only that, it was quite cool, so I opened the front and back doors, turned the ceiling fan up, and ran fresh air through the house for a couple of hours early in the day. Heavenly.

Cleaned the little house, hung the sheets on the line, the rugs out to air......then, pulled everything from under the rear benches in the Interstate and vacuumed under there. So overdue.

A phenomenal amount of dog hair accumulates in those areas, from Lily laying on the benches, being scratched and loved on, scratching herself, grooming herself , etc.......along with small bits of popcorn , dog food, etc.......also, a fair amount of Edisto sand was still lingering there from our two weeks in March.

This was also a Doug-chore, when we returned home from long trips. He would get on his knees, inside, which I just cannot sustain long enough to get this done.

Doug, who at 65 could still squat down on his heels.....on the ground, and up in trees when trimming branches.

I opened the rear doors, and used the vacuum wand from there. Worked great, especially as it was such a cool and lovely day.....high of only 72, and, did I mention....no rain?

Then, I sprayed those carpeted areas with a bit of the Febreze I bought at Edisto this past long trip.....to counteract the effects of dog+humidity on everything she touches.

Done, and I feel better about myself as a person. Now.....I can start a bit of packing for the trip to New Mexico.

My neighbor came over to visit a bit, to check on me, comment on my exuberant cleaning efforts, and commiserate on the state of our current world, shooters gaining infamy, etc., also a notable police presence....front and back....at an apartment building up the street a few nights ago.

Sounded to me like they were trying to make an arrest. We are a cul-de-sac of houses, in the low rent district. Crime and violence are not an issue here, but police and summons-servers happen, on occasion.

My neighbor is a good man, who told me last year "if you ever need anything, we are right across the street", and meant it. I have rarely needed their help, but I have good, longstanding, neighbors on each side of me, and we are there for each other.

After Doug died in Georgia last year, I sent my son to these neighbors doors....to let them know what had happened, before I returned home without him....and then had to do this myself, which I just could not have managed.

Last chore of the day was a visit to my long time hairdresser for a good trim of my long, mostly grey, locks. She is a sweetheart, this woman, and one of those fabric-of-my-life relationships. I took her a large, Edisto-shell-turned-candle, and she loved it.

Making a run to the store this am, going to putter and sort and pull some things together for the Great Trip West, commencing on the 29th. I'm excited.

Also going to make Dana's Salted Peanut Bars to take to my son's tomorrow....will post that recipe a bit later. Pure junk, but for the redeeming quality of peanuts, but yummy and quick.....and the grands will love them.

Have a good weekend.


Maggie

[Lily&Me]

I love this.

when it’s over and you’re alone, you begin to see that it wasn’t just a movie and a dinner together, not just watching sunsets together, not just scrubbing a floor or washing dishes together or worrying over a high electric bill. It was everything, it was the why of life, every event and precious moment of it. The answer to the mystery of existence is the love you shared sometimes so imperfectly, and when the loss wakes you to the deeper beauty of it, to the sanctity of it, you can’t get off your knees for a long time, you’re driven to your knees not by the weight of the loss but by gratitude for what preceded the loss. And the ache is always there, but one day not the emptiness, because to nurture the emptiness, to take solace in it, is to disrespect the gift of life.”
Dean Koontz, Odd Hours


Maggie

[DIR1]

Very nice Maggie... thanks for the share.. I may forward that, it matched my thoughts this morning...
Have a great time getting ready for the GTW... I love the prep parts of trip too... it's all good!!! hugs to you and lily... gail

[Msmoto]

OK, Maggie, maybe you like this one I posted on Facebook

Happy. Father's Day to all......
This is a day for happiness, sadness, and remembrances. But most of all it is like every other day.... A gift from our Creator for which we can be grateful.
Understanding much about life is not necessarily part of the gift. But loving our Creator, and demonstrating this by unconditionally loving our neighbors, this is easily understood if we are willing.
Thank you God for this day.

[Lily&Me]

I do like that, Tommie.

Other people's words have been of so much comfort to me this past year+. I have saved dozens in my Pages app, and re-read them regularly.

So indicative that we humans are all much more alke than we are different, that another's grief experience, set to words, resonates with our own....sometimes profoundly.

It is a good thing.....providing comfort, validation, and guidance, in navigating new waters and beginning a new life.

I have said this before .......I really believe, and buy into, the premise that looking for, and then acknowledging, things to be grateful for helps tremendously in learning to look up......and, eventually, forward.....after a loss like that of my beloved spouse.

To not do this, it seems, leaves one stuck, swirling around, in the state of a glass-half-empty....rather than working toward appreciating what you had....and still have....and seeing that your glass is still half full.

What Doug & I had together, memories of good times and bad, appreciation for 6 1/2 years of retirement travel together, etc.......and, what I have now, even without his presence. I appreciate, and am grateful for, all of it.

There is a void where Doug was, that I experience most of every single day.....seldom do I do anything without feeling the loss of him. But....he's not coming back, and puddles and heaps are helpful only for a moment.

In my opinion.


Maggie

[Lily&Me]

More.

[Lily&Me]

And another.

[Lily&Me]

Last one.

[Lily&Me]

Pertaining to loss of another sort.....

[Lily&Me]

I didn't make these yesterday, as it would have been exceedingly difficult to stay out of them til I took them to my son's this afternoon.


Dana's SALTED NUT BARS

1 bag peanut butter chips
1 can sweetened condensed milk
2 1/2 tbsp butter
1 10.5 oz bag miniature marshmallows
1 12-16 oz jar dry roasted peanuts


Microwave chips, milk and butter 30 seconds, stir, microwave about 30 seconds more, just til melted, but not boiling hot.

Add marshmallows and peanuts, stir well and press into buttered 9x13" pan.

Chill, cut into bars. Dana says these are best refrigerated.


Maggie

[Photobum]

Green aspen.
red breasted robin.
swallowtails.
another great day in the Sierra.

Bon voyage for New Mexico.

[Lily&Me]

Thank you, Vince.

Hope camp hosting is agreeing with you out there.

I am planning to head to Chaco Canyon after the Gila Wilderness sojourn, and thinking I will call ahead to the ranger station there to check on things before I do so.

Some daunting tales posted on another thread about the state of those roads. Wouldn't want to get stuck, or into something I could not get myself out of.


Maggie

[DIR1]

Originally Posted by Lily&Me

Thank you, Vince.

Hope camp hosting is agreeing with you out there.

I am planning to head to Chaco Canyon after the Gila Wilderness sojourn, and thinking I will call ahead to the ranger station there to check on things before I do so.

Some daunting tales posted on another thread about the state of those roads. Wouldn't want to get stuck, or into something I could not get myself out of.


Maggie

I doubt if there's anything you could not get yourself out of!!! IMHO

[Lily&Me]

Originally Posted by DIR1

I doubt if there's anything you could not get yourself out of!!! IMHO

Hmmm.....you might be surprised at some of the fixes I have found myself in.

There is always a way out, but some of those ways are life altering.....and, perhaps, meant to be just that.

I do prefer fixes I have some skill set related to, however.

Going to be hot today, and, of course, humidity is high....we are, after all, in central Illinos.

Lily is paying close attention to my ministrations to the Interstate, as she knows a trip is in the offing.


Maggie

[Photobum]

Chaco is fine, just drive slow. Chaco will reward you.

[Lily&Me]

I will still call to check on the roads, before I go.....it's the prudent thing to do.


Maggie