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Old 04-22-2015, 07:20 AM   #121
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Hi Maggie:

I change the oil in our Diesel F350 every 5,000 miles - it's called for every 7,500. Wear and tear, towing mountains, desert, ocean with salt air and to be honest it's much easier for me to remember 5,000 than it is 7,500. It's not a function of age either. You can't be hurt, except financially by changing early, oil changes are tops on the PM list, absolute tops.

As to living wills et al, we are re-doing everything this week as it so happens. Our new attorney brought up our dog - who takes her or them, do we give them money to do so etc. So, we have designated my nephew and his family, after asking, as they love her, and put in $10,00 for her care. Both our kids are allergic to her so although we are sure they would make do, it's better this way. You've got your son, but just a thought in case for Lily.

We also are having wills, financial, health powers of attorney, living wills, and add ons for specific items like my gun collection, watch, truck and Airstream so they are not part of the assets and given to the person I want them to go to. My wifes rings etc to our daughter et al. Attorney says even though everyone gets along, better to have it down in writing, I agree.

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Old 04-22-2015, 07:23 AM   #122
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Thank you, mimiandrews, and for the great advice.

There is a part of me that is so averse to physically getting into some of these things myself, and that is the honest truth.

Maybe I should, but I just don't want to.

I have learned, here , that you don't check/change an oil filter without changing the oil. Who knew. Certainly not me.

I just knew the sand could be an issue, and did specify no oil and filter change. It wasn't due, and I planned on dealing with that in the fall. That seemed enough to me, but it didn't get written on the work order...that was the problem.

I have been into Peterbilt a couple of times since Doug died, and do trust them. i truly don't feel they were trying to take advantage of me....and that has happened with others ....it was a miscommunication, a matter of terminology.

A class might be a good idea. I'll have to think about that.


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Old 04-22-2015, 07:29 AM   #123
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Thanks, Bud.

I have a good will, have some specific things designated, and am also going to gift some things as the grands get older....things I want them individually to have, know that their Grandpa gave them to me, etc.

My son would care for Lily, should the need arise.

I am fortunate to have adult children who are good, solid, moral, loving, wonderful human beings. We talk, they will make good decisions if needed.

They both have a good moral compass.

I guess I can largely take credit for that, and I will.


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Old 04-22-2015, 07:37 AM   #124
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Seems like you have a longtime, good relationship with Peterbilt. I'd chalk this up to a simple mistake and let it pass. Appears they had your best interest in mind. So hard to find a good service center anymore. Better to have them do a little extra than to do a little less. Peace,jim
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Old 04-22-2015, 07:39 AM   #125
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There will also, eventually, be the sorting and distributing of household items Doug & I purchased during our marriage.

My children have very good relationships with his, and I envision them doing that together.

There are 9 grandchildren, at this point .....most of them will eventually have their own households.

I have bedroom and dining room furniture that belonged to maternal and paternal grandparents, which will stay within my biological family, but items we purchased together can and should be distributed among them.

I should perhaps put some tags on things....Doug had started to do that with some furniture he had since he lived at his mother's home.


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Old 04-22-2015, 07:40 AM   #126
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Seems like you have a longtime, good relationship with Peterbilt. I'd chalk this up to a simple mistake and let it pass. Appears they had your best interest in mind. So hard to find a good service center anymore. Better to have them do a little extra than to do a little less. Peace,jim
Exactly.

That's how I feel, Jim.

I did feel I needed to be firm on some monetary compromise, tho, under the circumstances....don't want to set the bar too low.


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Old 04-22-2015, 07:55 AM   #127
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Great, we have two fantastic adult kids, no grandchildren and probably none to come. So aside from Nephew we have also designated some charities in the event as the attorney states "everyone" dies in a catastrophic event the courts won't give your estate to the state of PA, which we would not want to happen. I think what you negotiated with Peterbuilt was a great deal, congrats.

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Old 04-22-2015, 08:17 AM   #128
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I think it was a fair and reasonable resolution.


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Old 04-22-2015, 12:38 PM   #129
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Originally Posted by paiceman View Post
Hi Maggie:

I change the oil in our Diesel F350 every 5,000 miles - it's called for every 7,500. Wear and tear, towing mountains, desert, ocean with salt air and to be honest it's much easier for me to remember 5,000 than it is 7,500. It's not a function of age either. You can't be hurt, except financially by changing early, oil changes are tops on the PM list, absolute tops.

As to living wills et al, we are re-doing everything this week as it so happens. Our new attorney brought up our dog - who takes her or them, do we give them money to do so etc. So, we have designated my nephew and his family, after asking, as they love her, and put in $10,00 for her care. Both our kids are allergic to her so although we are sure they would make do, it's better this way. You've got your son, but just a thought in case for Lily.

We also are having wills, financial, health powers of attorney, living wills, and add ons for specific items like my gun collection, watch, truck and Airstream so they are not part of the assets and given to the person I want them to go to. My wifes rings etc to our daughter et al. Attorney says even though everyone gets along, better to have it down in writing, I agree.

My Best.

Bud

Hi, I promised my Dad that I would take care of Dusty. Dusty adopted us about four years ago.
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Old 04-22-2015, 12:44 PM   #130
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Awwww.

It is hard to imagine that Lily would outlive both me and my son.

If she did.....there are some close family members who are not only dog but cats-and-animals-in-general lovers.

I am sure she would not end up in a shelter.

Can't bear to think of that.


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Old 04-22-2015, 12:52 PM   #131
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I emptied, cleaned and completely re-organized my refrigerator this morning, and I feel better about myself as a person.

Finally threw away a few pre-3/14 items, that only Doug used.....the Hersheys chocolate syrup he liked on a small bit of vanilla ice cream, etc.

It is still, always painful to put my hands on something he last touched.

I still have some of his shirts and good pants hanging in the closets, which I can't bear to just take to Goodwill. Many things have gone to my son and son-in law, but there is a lot left.

I just haven't wanted to get into them.

Am going to see if there is a place locally that helps men who are re-entering the workforce get outfitted for interviews, etc.

Life goes on.


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Old 04-23-2015, 11:26 AM   #132
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We are leaving in the morning to meet friends from Canada for a long weekend, which I am really looking forward to.

I have not one, but two loaves of DO bread set to rise and bake in the am before I leave.....one with steel cut oats, the other seeded rye. Yum.

They and I will be in good bread for the duration.

We are meeting at the Miami State Recreation area on Mississinewa Lake, near Peru, IN. Anyone ever been there?

Their water is not on, nor bathhouses open, but we can do a weekend without that. Can't imagine it will not be lovely....not that we will be out and about too much.

Look to spend most of the weekend gabbing and catching up, cooking together a bit, eating.....and gabbing.

It will be nice.



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Old 04-23-2015, 01:53 PM   #133
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Sounds like great fun!!! We are headed to Grandson's 1st Holy Communion! On Saturday we have been invited to a crawfish boil put on by my Wide's side of the Family. So we are camping close by both then driving to the events!

Still counts as camping??? Surrre!!!
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Old 04-23-2015, 03:36 PM   #134
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If you're out in your rig, enjoying yourself, it's camping.

In my humble opinion.



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Old 04-23-2015, 04:24 PM   #135
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Originally Posted by Lily&Me View Post
I emptied, cleaned and completely re-organized my refrigerator this morning, and I feel better about myself as a person.

Finally threw away a few pre-3/14 items, that only Doug used.....the Hersheys chocolate syrup he liked on a small bit of vanilla ice cream, etc.

It is still, always painful to put my hands on something he last touched.

I still have some of his shirts and good pants hanging in the closets, which I can't bear to just take to Goodwill. Many things have gone to my son and son-in law, but there is a lot left.

I just haven't wanted to get into them.

Am going to see if there is a place locally that helps men who are re-entering the workforce get outfitted for interviews, etc.

Life goes on.


Maggie
Maggie

if you can't find an agency that helps outfit for interviews, check with a couple of churches..... they sometimes have avenues to make those connections even if it isn't something formalized. I know the church I work at gets many requests all over the spectrum from work boots for a labor job to bus passes to get to interviews..

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Old 04-23-2015, 04:30 PM   #136
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That is an excellent idea, Dana, and something I had not thought of.

There is a pastor who lives across the street from me, and the agency that handles the Food Bank here might also be an option.

Doug would like to see his things go to men who need, rather than simply want, them.

Good thinking!


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Old 04-24-2015, 08:56 AM   #137
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Dutch Oven Bread......X 2!

I baked them side-by-side in my oven. Gave them a couple of extra minutes, but this seems to have worked beautifully.

Real bread.....it's a good thing.


Maggie
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Old 04-24-2015, 11:17 AM   #138
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Clothing

I have sent an e-mail to my clergy friends in Wisconsin if they know of any avenues to donate. They have connections all over.
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Old 04-24-2015, 05:55 PM   #139
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Thanks.

If you have never seen a JPeterman catalogue, they are so fun just to read, and carry unique and interesting items of clothing for both men and women.

Each item is prefaced by a charming, very well-written little story which conjours images of Humphrey Bogart, smoke-filled rooms, foggy harbors, Audrey Hepburn, formal dining rooms, African Safaris, mysterious women...or men...that sort of thing.

He always got to pore over and read these catalogues first, because I knew he loved them. Rather pricey items in there, so we did a lot of looking and reading, and only occasional buying.

Thinking about Doug's clothes as I drove today, I started having lots of memories of his JPeterman "Do you trust me to dance with your wife?" pants

A pair of dress khakis, with this caption, called to Doug 10 or so years ago. He bought them, wore them for special dinners out or other occasions, and we always referred to them as his "Do you trust me to dance with your wife?" pants.

Always. Never his good khakis, those JPeterman pants, his favorite khakis, etc. And, they were never washed, always dry-cleaned. Doug was a man who took very good care of his clothing.

I got to thinking that maybe he wants me to leave those and a favorite white dress shirt hanging together in the closet, next to his favorite JPeterman aftershave.

I can do that. A little in-house memorial.


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Old 04-25-2015, 12:34 AM   #140
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Love that idea...J Peterman was so well written. Miss that catalog.


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