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Old 09-19-2019, 09:35 AM   #6061
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I allowed myself a foray into Tuesday Morning yesterday, and found these gorgeous and otherwise rather expensive skeins of Bernat yarn at the bargain price of $2.99 each.

I have almost finished the first scarf out of one...each skein will make one especially beautiful warm scarf for my donation bag.
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Old 09-19-2019, 01:54 PM   #6062
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Great find and great use! You are so sweet. I'm sure they will be greatly appreciated and warm!
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Old 09-22-2019, 10:14 AM   #6063
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Hi Deb!

I already finished one scarf and have started another...such beautiful yarn to work with.

We have had a busy week here at the little house, and drove north early yesterday with my son and his boys to help my sister in law and her granddaughter get most of their things moved into their tiny apartment.

Had several bi-annual services done this week, and had the ducts and dryer vent professionally cleaned for the first time in the 34 years I have been here.

Whether duct cleaning is worth it is debatable, but the dryer vent definitely needed attention and 35 years of whatever might be in there seemed like getting it out would be a good idea.

A lot of crud accumulates in 35 years, even for one like me who keeps a very clean house.

Yuk.


So, fall chores well underway and I also finished this interesting book which was about a lost creel and tackle of Ernest Hemingway’s, some favorite Montana haunts of his and an unfinished story taken up to complete by a devotee many years after Hemingway’s death.

It wasn’t a great book, but I liked the Hemingway overlay and the bits and pieces of factual information of his life.
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Old 09-28-2019, 02:03 PM   #6064
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Another busy week, another round trip to my SIL/great niece’s new home one day...two hours each way of about half country road...and a day spent helping to unpack, organize and help get things set up for the upcoming hospitalization.

I have decided I am experiencing secondary trauma, aka compassion fatigue, from being a part of what they have been thru the past few months.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secondary_trauma

I have been more than a little preoccupied by their situation particularly the last few weeks...if I haven’t physically been there, we’ve been on the telephone or I’ve just had it to the forefront of my mind nearly every waking minute. So much to be done, and I feel it.

They head to the children’s hospital in a few days, and could be there a couple of weeks. When they come home, Lily and I will spend some time in the Interstate in their driveway so that they are not on their own in a new town and home during a time when the child cannot be taken out.

Their situation is mostly stabilized at this point, due largely to SIL’s amazing personal strength, and no thanks whatsoever to those who have meant her harm. I have been been more than willing to help, but it has been hard to be a part of their trauma.

However, we step forward to use and carry into today what we have learned and experienced in days past, and creating order out of chaos is something I not only have had a great deal of experience with but am very, very good at.

We could use Henry Standing Bear or Jack Reacher to handle some of the heavy lifting, though.

At any rate, I’m whining a bit, self medicating thru words written.


We are having some mild weather, starting to feel a bit like fall, and this morning I stripped everything off my bed and washed it.

Just seemed like the thing to do, and I then quite deftly flipped my mattress all by myself before making it back up.

I remember the early days of the after, when my son would come by to help me flip my mattress.

I’m 5 1/2 years older now, and been doing it myself at least the past 5 years.

All part of accepting what we cannot change.

Sigh. Life.

Maggie
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Old 09-29-2019, 07:45 AM   #6065
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I’ve had this recipe awhile, and finally tried it this morning.

Absolutely delicious, the crystallized ginger losing its heat in the tiny dice and baking, leaving them tiny morsels in the scones which melt in your mouth.

Yum.


Scottish Scones with Ginger & Lemon

Preheat oven to 450 degrees.

Combine:

2c flour

2 rounded T sugar

2 t baking powder

1/2 t baking soda

1/2 t salt


Add and mix well to evenly distribute:

1/2 c crystallized ginger, cut into small dice

zest of 1 lemon


Cut 1/3 cup cold butter into small cubes, and work into dry ingredients with fingers til small crumbs.


Add 3/4 cup buttermilk and stir until just combined.


In bowl, knead once or twice to bring dough together. Don’t overwork, just enough to pull the dough into a shaggy mass.

Gently pat into an 8-9″ circle about 1/2″ thick. Prick with fork and cut into 8ths.

Place on ungreased cookie sheet and bake 10-12 minutes.
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Old 10-04-2019, 01:51 PM   #6066
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This was Carolyn Hax’s column this morning, her response to a grieving daughter really resonating with me...

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifes...e90_story.html

I agree with her, that we grieve what we had, what we didn’t, and what might have been. It has also been my experience that in grief we grieve again every love we have ever lost.

Something about opening those emotional floodgates seems to invite from the recesses of our minds the retrieving and reliving of losses we may have thought “resolved”.

Nope, they’re still there, just laying dormant for a bit, ready to resurface and intensify current emotions.

Probably a good thing, tho when we’re in the grips of it we can’t see it.


My great niece had an 8+ hour surgery yesterday, which went very well and she is expected to move out of ICU today.

Sister in law is doing well, tho it has been a physically and emotionally exhausting week for all of them.

I will hop on the train in a few days to go visit, by which time the young lady should be up and about and hopefully has a discharge date in sight.


We are suddenly in Fall at the little house, and this week the furnace has been serviced and my chimney cleaned.

Wood delivery is pending, and I am now ready for the first fire of the season.

Lots of service providers in and out of here the last couple of weeks, Lily being a bit overstimulated at the near constant adjustment to strangers in the house.

Trees will soon start to turn. Fall is my favorite time of year.

Maggie
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Old 10-04-2019, 03:53 PM   #6067
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Pit Bulls. - I hope you and Lily are getting over the trauma of the attack. Earlier this week there were two pit bull stories in the news that show both sides of the breed. Here in Florida a young pit bull pushed past two small children in his pack to fight off a coral snake. The young dog was bitten and died the next day at the vet's clinic. This dog had been acquired as a puppy from a breeder who bred them to be family pets. The pup obviously bonded with the children and fought to protect his "siblings".
Back in Virginia, a 33 year old woman was killed by her own dog, a pitbull who was one of several dogs she had adopted. All she was doing was feeding the dogs. The background and breeding of this pit bull was not included in the story, but it seems that the dog may have been a rescue.

Pit Bulls are strong, athletic, intelligent, and quick. If you don't know a pit bull's great grand parents AND how he/she was raised from birth DO NOT take in the dog if you aren't extremely experienced, and armed, and prepared to have the dog put down if necessary. I hope your relatives are getting a clear picture of what they could have to face.

Bless us all, every one!
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Old 10-04-2019, 04:27 PM   #6068
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Hi Paula.

So many people have a pit bull story...occasionally adoring owners with no problems whatsoever, more often something scary.

Shortly after we got home my mail lady was asking after my trip, I told her about Lily’s attack, she told me that a coworker had a child killed by the family pit bull.

Daughter and SIL intend to follow thru with training, tho I will never again expose Lily to their dog.

I just hope no one else, human or pet, is hurt.

Maggie
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Old 10-04-2019, 05:41 PM   #6069
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Every news article I see regarding someone mauled by a dog is by a pit, never a Yorkie!
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Old 10-05-2019, 09:59 AM   #6070
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sheriff1 View Post
Every news article I see regarding someone mauled by a dog is by a pit, never a Yorkie!
IMHO, it's the owners that should be put down, not just the dogs.
I know of a Statfordshire Bull Terrier, that is the sweetest dog, with nary a bad bone in her body. Her owner cares for her and socialize's her with other dogs. She has never bit anything, (not to say she would take great exception of you breaking into her place).
I've owned Irish Terriers and Border Terriers, with both breeds having a higher PSI bite level than Pitbulls.
It takes a responsible owner to make sure accidents or negligence doesn't occur.

I wish you all the best Maggie.

Cheers
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Old 10-05-2019, 10:43 AM   #6071
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Why thank you for the good wishes, Tony.


Daughter and SIL are otherwise very responsible adults.

I think they just took on this dog for certain desirable characteristics without fully understanding what they were getting into with this specific breed, and how best to prepare themselves.

Being the owner myself of a sometimes challenging dog , it can take a minute to understand you are in over your head and need skilled intervention.

Took them longer than I would like, but they have now enlisted the aid of experts and assure me they will follow thru.

Lily seems none the worse for wear, tho my anthropomorphic tendencies suspect she is traumatized...as am I.

But, we go on, try to digest and compartmentalize adverse events, and learn from them.




We have beautiful, sunny and cool temperatures at the little house, which energizes Miss Lily and also myself, who has wielded reciprocating saw to three overgrown lilac bushes this morning.

All by myself.

Not the best time of year to trim lilacs, you might say, but it’s when I felt moved to do it.

Maggie
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Old 10-09-2019, 01:53 PM   #6072
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We are in the Interstate waiting at Lurie Children’s Hospital to pick up and take home great niece and her Grandma.

Child has done well, Grandma has had a hellacious experience here due to the relentless acting out and negativity of my niece/the biological parent.

Yikes. As ugly and nasty a scene as I have ever seen, and I have seen some nasty s**t.

Culminating in an especially ugly attempt behind the scenes to interfere in Grandma’s guardianship and custody.

Unsuccessful, and I take some credit for that. Actually, I take a lot of credit.

When life calls upon you to step up and speak up, you must.

I believe that, tho being a speaker-up has its definite downsides...I used to work for the State of Illinois ...but one should try to do the right thing at all times, in my opinion.

Someone has to speak the truth.


So, today has been another first....me not only driving into downtown Chicago for the very first time in my life, but in the Interstate.

Maggie
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Old 10-09-2019, 06:20 PM   #6073
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Good for you!

Youíre doing what I refer to as kicking a$$ and taking names. Well worth the effort.

And frankly, driving into downtown Chicago with any vehicle short of a Sherman Tank would give me pause...
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Old 10-09-2019, 06:38 PM   #6074
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My sister in law is a good woman, with more character and integrity than most, who sacrificed her own life to raise three grands and keep them out of the foster care system...where they most definitely would have ended up.

Poor as church mice, to boot, as it is expensive to feed and clothe three kids.

I did what I could, and what I know well, and it worked.

It was the right thing to do.

Maggie
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Old 10-10-2019, 05:11 AM   #6075
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After waiting at the hospital about 2 1/2 hours, we left without them late afternoon due to a medical snag.

Long story short...child and grandma were transported home late evening via a private ambulance that volunteered its services for the 3 hour drive home.

The hospital had found them, probably pulled from a bag of tricks those of us without familiarity of the issues that come up in childrenís hospitals wouldnít have access to.

They probably were home around midnight, passing us on the way, tucked into the far reaches of a large parking lot as it started to get dark.

I donít drive well at night any more, and choose not to, especially on unfamiliar roads.

Plus, driving at dusk and early nightfall on country roads increases ones likelihood of encountering large animals.

Read awhile and went to bed, as we were up most of Tuesday night.


Jack Reacher and Travis McGee novels have become comfort food for my brain of late.

Always enjoyable and easy to get into, they are a welcome break before sleep from whatever drama is unfolding during the day.

It has been a rather wild ride the past few months.

I seem to always have one or two of these books in my Nook app, waiting to be read, and I smile when I see them.

Comfort food for my brain. A good thing.


As soon as itís light, we will head on to sister in laws home, where we will stay awhile in their drive till theyíre on their feet.

By then, will need to winterize and put the Interstate to bed for the winter, as fall is suddenly upon us and freezing temps not far off.

Maggie
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Old 10-11-2019, 06:21 AM   #6076
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Here with my SIL and great niece, camping out in their driveway and gladly providing adjunct physical and emotional support.

They arrived home about midnight Wednesday night. We are all exhausted, and they are sleeping in a bit this morning.

Great niece is doing well, ate some favorite food that her aunt Maggie cooked yesterday, getting up in the chair and to the bathroom but still having moderate pain and doing a lot of sleeping.

Such a sweet girl, and I am impressed all over again by the dedication, compassion, love and rock solid competence displayed by her grandma to this child with her complex, lifelong needs.

Multiple issues, even prior to the major surgery last Thursday, and I firmly believe that this child is alive today is largely due to the early intervention by her grandma.

I am so infuriated with the abusive bio mother and the other adult children I can hardly write for emotion roiling up in me, and they are equally infuriated by my alliance with and advocacy for their mother.

Part of the DV cycle, you know, trying to isolate the victim from support and assistance. .

Iíve just written and deleted several paragraphs, as it is just best that I not air all this here.

But, I have vented some, appropriate outside authorities have been engaged as needed, and Iím hoping the dust will eventually settle.


Reading Carolyn Hax column this morning, ďwhat you ignore, you empowerĒ jumped out at me.

Never more true than in this situation, but so difficult for those who have been beaten down to stand up and advocate for themselves.

They fear the onslaught of fury, are controlled and made submissive by it, making it more difficult to speak up.

It is intentional by the abusers, who are empowered by their behavior and the response they get from their victim.

Enough. Going to finish my coffee.

Prayers and thoughts of strength could be sent to central Illinois, if any are so inclined.

And thank you.

Maggie
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Old 10-11-2019, 11:11 AM   #6077
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Oh Maggie,

Thank you for being there. Isolation... you are so right about how abusers use that, and about how hard it is for the abused person to find any way to rise up against it. Your small voice IS hope.

Any chance the bio-mother could be sued for child support and medical expenses? If she is as cheap as she is abusive she might vanish.
Most abusers have SOME chink in their makeup that can make leaving a more attractive option to staying. I will pray that bio-momster gets "saved" ...or has a stroke ...or looks into a mirror and sees the face of whoever it was that ruined her.

What you are doing is surely more effective than what I would do... which might make me look speculatively at my 32 oz. framing hammer.
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Old 10-11-2019, 12:13 PM   #6078
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Hi Paula, and thank you.

The child is on SSI with a medical card, so IDPA is and has been dealing with the mother.


You know, the skills I learned and honed as a child welfare caseworker often come in very handy....being plain spoken, direct and to the point, and used to going up chains to higher authorities when needed.

Such as getting law enforcement involved to retrieve withheld possessions, which I have no qualms whatsoever about doing.

Bullies like to operate in the dark, not in the light where the public is aware of their behavior.

I think she needs a DV advocate up here to help her with some things, as tho I am more than willing and able I live 2 hours away.

Also, not only has my involvement become inflammatory to the evildoers, having the DV folks ongoingly involved and aware of what is going on is a natural and logical consequence to this crazy s**t.

I am keeping outside authorities apprised of new developments and information, as I know their records and documentation will be available at a later time if needed.

Maggie
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Old 10-11-2019, 12:17 PM   #6079
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Glad you are there to bring your expertise and experience into the situation.
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Old 10-11-2019, 12:19 PM   #6080
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Thank you, Mimi.

Iím glad to be here, she and I have been good friends for 40 or so years.

But, I canít stay forever, and there are lots of outstanding issues needing resolved.

Maggie
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