A Different Life II

[Lily&Me]

I added this book to my Nook some time ago...because, well, it's about the Hole in the Wall Gang...which Doug loved reading and learning about.

I have a picture of him next to a statue of Butch Cassidy, taken somewhere in Wyoming, I think.

Etta Place became the "wife" of Harry Longbaugh, aka the Sundance Kid.

It is very well written, and I am really enjoying it.

[Lily&Me]

[paiceman]

The statue is probably the one in Duois, WY where Butch Cassidy owned a ranch and often visited the town and in particular the general store, Welty's, I think, which is was still operating a couple of years ago when we went through there.

[Gearheart]

Maggie. What I meant to convey was that imposed change, although it brings about compliance, often minimal, leads to resentment. It seldom brings about any change in thinking. A change in thinking on the other hand will bring about acceptance and even full endorsement of the change in action. I understand that the second process usually takes longer and the child's safety is at risk right now.

[Lily&Me]

I absolutely agree with you, Gerard.

When children are removed, or are at risk of removal from their parents, we immediately require things like no use of illegal substances, complying with random urine drops, providing adequate/age-appropriate supervision, establishing and maintaining separation from an abusive other, etc., while parent(s) are in treatment, therapy, parenting classes, etc.

That has to be done, and immediately, at the time of intervention, to protect the rights of e child to his parent and the parent to their child.

Sometimes parents over time change their thinking, understand, accept and internalize needed changes, and sometimes they don't...some never get past the resentment and anger at being told what to do by the State and the juvenile court system.

Yep...human behavior. It is what it is.

Maggie

[OTRA15]

"Always leave the wall . . . "



Have a good weekend and a joyous Easter.

Peter

PS -- Getting to be Dutch Oven time pretty soon, Maggie, after our new tow vehicle comes in. Yes! Can't wait.

[Lily&Me]

Yes, I may get my DO going for the Moraine View gathering in June, going to depend on the weather...standing over that in heat and humidity does not excite me.

It is another beautiful and sunny day day here, going to be mid-70's.

Violets are everywhere this time of year, and I love them.

[Photobum]

I like them also. Nature. Inspiring us everyday.

[mimiandrews]

I like the violets! My mom used to grow those, and I'm not sure I have seen any since. Good memories.

[Lily&Me]

Good morning, folks.

Violets grow wild here, in any untreated area....yards, fields, my wild "far back", etc.

I picked these on the way back from walking Lily yesterday morning, and they are even in that particular spot in a lighter lavender, as well.

Heavy storms in the night, Lily keeping me company in the bed.

Doing brunch at my son's for Easter....I will be bringing a family favorite coffee cake.

Have a good day, everyone.


Maggie

[Lily&Me]

So I ordered some more wild geraniums for a bed by the house in the back...only one of the three planted last year survived the winter, tho it has happily emerged, expanded itself and has buds on it.

I ordered these from Etsy, 5 plants...I thought.

What I got were dirty sticks with tiny, hairy, root like things on them, and what look like bean sprouts coming out of one end.

Researched, read the little paper that came with...which does not say which end goes in the ground, one is apparently supposed to know...emailed the seller, then planted the three largest ones directly into the ground and the other half dozen or so little ones in potting soil in a pot inside. Too small to put outside, I decided.

Bean sprout end to the sun.

During the night, I decided I had planted them upside down. so not having heard back from the seller I dug around and re-planted them...bean sprout end in the ground.

This afternoon, getting a not clear esponse from the seller to my very specific question...plant "the round end down" she said ...I came back from my son's and reversed them all once again...bean sprout end to the sun.

It can't be the round end if bean sprouts are growing out of it, right? The round end has got to be the one with no bean sprouts coming out of it. Right?

Hated to call anyone on Easter Sunday to ask about this.

I also read somewhere online that you can plant these "rhizomes" horizontally.

We'll see what happens.


Maggie

[Lily&Me]

Going to walk Lily downtown this morning....via the bike and walking path that runs throughout these twin cities, and near the little house...to mail my tax payment to the Feds.

For the year that Doug died, 2014, I could still file as married, filing jointly.

For 2015 and 2016, I had not changed my witholding status to "single", but with no dependents nor Head of Household status, I should have, as that was my actual filing status.

I made a ridiculously large tax payment last year, and now again this year....til I finally realized that I am not "married", I am "single", putting me in a 25% tax bracket.

I have a new tax preparer in a different firm this year...our long time accountant transitioning his to a new owner over the past two years and the interim, one time preparers at his firm not mentioning the need to change my witholding.

It simply never occurred to me.

But, I don't feel "single", nor do I really feel "married"...tho still leaning much more toward the latter than the former...my conjoined before-and-after selves ever present in the reality of my life.

So whyever would it occur to me to change my tax status?

Another note to selves for new widows...look at whether you need to change your witholding status.


Maggie

[Lily&Me]

Went into my favorite garden center this morning for a few new plantings...and to pick the mind of their all-plants guy regarding my rhizome thingies I am not sure how to plant.

He suggested planting them horizontally, so I returned home and settled them into ground and pot for the fourth time.

Now, if they have survived all the man-handling, and grow.

Periwinkle planted along the north side of the house, basil and parsley in the backyard garden, and a visit with the new-ish neighbor...grandpa to the little guy who likes to run into the street...he out mowing and sprucing up their yard.

There's something about Spring that just makes one want to get their hands in the dirt.

Maggie

[Rocinante]

Originally Posted by Lily&Me

I made a ridiculously large tax payment last year, and now again this year....til I finally realized that I am not "married", I am "single", putting me in a 25% tax bracket.

I have a new tax preparer in a different firm this year...our long time accountant transitioning his to a new owner over the past two years and the interim, one time preparers at his firm not mentioning the need to change my witholding.

It simply never occurred to me.

I am very disappointed in your last year's tax preparer, who should have picked this up and provided that simple bit of advice. It would have taken that person less than a minute to make the suggestion. Glad you're using a different one this year. When they finish your taxes, they should always provide a little input to you for tax planning based on the prior year's return. It's part of what you're paying them for.

[Lily&Me]

Yes, but they weren't invested in the relationship, I guess.

Our regular guy, who we had had for years, always sat down with us and went over everything. We had his cell number, and were told we could call any time with questions, and did a couple of times.

After the second year with an error with the new folks...unrelated to the witholding issue...it seemed prudent to switch to someone else. These are accountants, after all.

I have a woman, now, who reminds me a lot of Jane, and I liked her.

If I weren't so numerically challenged, I would go back to doing them myself.

The oldest granddaughter on Doug's side is going to France and Spain on a band trip this summer. What an opportunity for a 17 year old!

She's a straight A student, and plays first chair flute.

I am so excited for her, and have committed to helping with this. She has three sets of grandparents, and a doting aunt...a lucky girl.

Our high school band trips were to the Virginia Beach Music Festival...twice.

Running some errands this morning...so handy to have a car ...and back to the dentist this afternoon.

I chipped a tooth on a coffee cup late in this last trip...not willing to look at that every day.

Call me vain, but the hair is mostly grey, the skin has wrinkles and sags....a chipped tooth, now that's something I can do something about.


Maggie

[skitique]

Hi Maggie!
Just wanted to say good-morning. [emoji4]. Spring is here & it has been 78 - 80 consistently with no humidity. Flowers are all in bloom. We have our first camping trip of the year planned for the week of May 22nd but we are trying to get our house ready for sale so may have to postpone. Am going to wait to the last minute to cancel in the hopes we may possibly make it! We are going to move from Charleston back to the lake house in Greenville once the house sells. Hopefully will be able to see you & Lily can come to the lake next year either Before or after Edisto. Have a good day!

Jane

[Lily&Me]

Hi Jane!

I'm very happy for your new house, tho can't imagine that you are moving from Edisto.

Lily and I would love to swing by for a visit.

But then, you are within easy drive distance any time you need a beach fix, and the mountains with lake will be cooler and a lovely change of scenery.

No hurricane threats, there, either....at least not with the wash-your-house-away-into-the-sea force.

You now get a break, tax season laying low for awhile, so get out there and enjoy!

My first trip out since returning home will be to the Rockford area where my antique family heirlooms are going in about a month....will poke around Wisconsin and northern Illinois a bit, is the tentative plan.

The demands of spring at the little house will have been tended to, and I will be ready to be out for a few days.

Take care,

Maggie

[Lily&Me]

There's some growth popping thru the surface in my pot of rhizome-thingies-laid-horizontally. Yeeaaay.

Another trip to the garden center this morning, deliveries being last evening , for a couple of more things for the garden in the back yard.

We always had a few vegetables in there each summer, but with retirement travel there is not someone available to weed, tend and harvest vegetables on a regular basis...so over the past nearly 10 years it has been in the process of becoming a thriving flower garden.

Operative phrase "in the process".

Try, succeed or fail with various types...about half is now well-established plants, the remainder still a work in progress.

Sweet son was over for lunch today...we have been trying this last year or so to do a weekly, Mom & Son time when I am home, to give us a chance to chat minus the activity and noise of 3 rambunctious kids clamoring for whatever.

A good boy, turned into a good man.

And, you know, losing a spouse very suddenly makes one highly cognizant of the need to keep loose ends pulled in and next of kin informed of the status of most things...so that, if need be, they can step in and take over should anything happen to me.

It could happen, it does happen.


Maggie

[skitique]

[QUOTE=Lily&Me;1938116

My first trip out since returning home will be to the Rockford area where my antique family heirlooms are going in about a month....will poke around Wisconsin and northern Illinois a bit, is the tentative plan.
/QUOTE]

Scott is from South Beloit, IL & we've been to Rockford & surrounding area many times as we lived in McHenry, IL. You all have fun!

Jane

[Lily&Me]

My yard guys were here bright and early this morning, and got the mow in before the rain....the rain that Lily and I got caught in while walking.

Not a downpour, but we were pretty wet by the time we got back. Should have taken an umbrella, but thought we could beat it.

The yard and beds are starting to come together, tho a fair amount still to do...going to try to finish it all up this weekend so that I can move on to other things.

A man I know, in his mid-70's, has progressed so rapidly with dementia over the past couple of months that he has gone from living in his own home to having to go into a nursing home.

He forgets to eat and drink, to take his meds, bathe, change his clothes, etc., and doesn't comprehend when he is seriously enough injured to seek medical attention. A couple of medical crises later, it is over.

It takes a process before a declining person can be declared mentally incompetent, a threat to himself, etc., requiring documented failure at the tasks of caring for oneself. It shouldnt be an easy, simple something to do...but, still. Sad to see, and traumatic for his family to go thru.

It is sobering to observe, and I feel for he and his family. Tho a rather crotchety, cranky, and non-endearing man, I feel compassion for all people...he, included.

Not a situation any of us ever want to be in....tho perhaps the upside is that he really has no clue how bad of shape he is in.

They deal with him as one would a small child, telling him only what he needs to know....hard for them, to keep him deliberately uninformed, in the role reversal that caring for one's parent inevitably seems to become.

Sigh. Life.


A freshly baked staff of life this morning...oats are my favorite.