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Lily&Me · 05-24-2015, 05:48 PM

I soldier on, trying to be and go and do much as before, and I'm doing pretty well, darn it, but a fully functioning widow's life is still very much a work in progress.

It was a nice getaway, very relaxing, lovely campground, a bit of poking around at things I enjoy....but, unless walking Lily or riding my bike, when at the campground I was inside reading or crocheting. My door was open 6-8", enough for fresh air but not so much that Lily could dart outside and intimidate passing dogs.

Much like sitting in a restaurant by myself, sitting outside alone at a campground feels like I have stepped onto another planet, and so I have avoided doing it unless I am there with people I know.

I didn't even take a chair with me this weekend.

Doug and I would set up our chairs outside the Interstate within reaching distance of each other. We would hold hands and sip our coffee, or one of us would lay our hand on the arm of the other. Not every second, but often. It is just so odd to have that vacant space where his chair once was....like the empty space across the table in a restaurant.

A lovely couple about my age were across the road from me this weekend. Dave and Lorraine, cohabitating happily as many seniors seem to do, sans marriage. He divorced, she a widow of 5 years, in their very first motorhome they bought rather on impulse and have been out in a week. Heading to Colorado and having a great time. We chatted here and there over several days, as you do with friendly neighbors at campgrounds.

As I headed out to walk Lily yesterday afternoon, he teased me about spending so much time inside, so we three sat and talked some about that piece of my new life I am resisting. He got it, she got it. He said "I have a heart for widows....I worked for widows, and understand them."

Sweet man, who found himself a nice widow woman he seems very comfortable with....so much so that they have set out traveling together.

I'm happy for them, and enjoyed visiting with them.....but my husband is gone, and I'm still adjusting, is the truth. Some things you can't avoid, as they are those activities of daily living. The things I can put off, and do one at a time, when I'm ready, I just do.

I've begun listening to music on the radio in the car, still haven't put a CD in since Doug died. I will, one of these days.

As I said goodbye to Dave and Lorraine this morning....sitting at their campfire, drinking their coffee.....he said "Maggie.....you need to sit outside."

I told him I would work on that. Nice, kind, people.

Kindness missionaries encouraging a still-adjusting widow to step out of her comfort zone.

Maggie

Meeks · 05-24-2015, 07:03 PM

Hi Maggie,

Your writing and sharing is very honest and heartfelt. I so appreciate this.

It sounds to me that you are taking good care of yourself. As you know, there is no timeline or linear path to healing from such a loss. One simply moves forward doing one's best to perhaps feel more deeply when possible and know that each moment will bring a new feeling.

Chris

DIR1 · 05-24-2015, 07:25 PM

[QUOTE=Lily&Me;1625813]You're so sweet, Gail.

So glad my babbling is entertaining for some people.

Thinking about our mutual friend......where is she?

here soon... in a week or so... I'll keep you posted!!! and I love your threads.... it feels like we're chatting.... love it!!! Hugs

Lily&Me · 05-25-2015, 11:59 AM

Is this not the most gorgeous color for a sun hat!?

I am not a hat person, but if I must wear one.....it's going to be pretty.

SPF 50+, a nice wide brim....16" across....and on sale at EBags.

Might not be a lifetime hat, but it will lay flat to pack, I like the color and the wide brim.

Who said..."when I get old, I shall wear purple"....

Maggie

Gearheart · 05-25-2015, 01:10 PM

Lovely hat. Why not a red one too? That would expand your comfort zone.

Lily&Me · 05-25-2015, 01:20 PM

I think one purple hat will do me for now.

Maggie

DIR1 · 05-26-2015, 09:24 AM

Hi Maggie... yeah, great hat!!! I just sent you a PM... Hugs and love from out here

Lily&Me · 05-26-2015, 09:31 AM

The color will make me smile every time I look at it.

Ray Eklund says the hummingbirds in the Gila Wilderness will land on you if you wear bright colors

, so that could be interesting.

If they do, that will be fine. I could dab a little sugar water, here and there.....

Would make a great picture.

Maggie

Lily&Me · 05-26-2015, 12:24 PM

I ordered some more House Wine Riesling a week or so ago.....partial delivery occurred today, and UPS has no info on the remainder. They show everything with that tracking # as delivered. Grrrrr.

I'm one of those people who makes every effort to insure that whatever it is I am supposed to be doing, it is done, thoroughly, properly and completely. Buttoned up, no loose ends, no lost shipments of persons, things, information, etc. Thorough and complete am I.

When others seem to drop the ball, I have to beat back a small surge of annoyance to deal with things properly and with patience.

Reminded myself this is lost wine, not a lost child, sent an email thru Amazon to the seller, and I'm sure it will be taken care of.

This recipe was in a Mother Earth News Newsletter a year or so, and is really tasty and full of flavor.....if you like Kalamata olives, which I do.

Have made it for friends, who also loved it, made it again today and thought I would share it with all of you.

It is a little labor-intensive, but not too much so...and worth it.

I like to cook orzo pasta to serve with this, as their little shapes do well with the capers and chopped olives. Reheats very well, too.

Chicken Paillards with Kalamata Olives

Ingredients:

4 (4- to 6-ounce / 115- to 170-gram) boneless, skinless chicken breasts
2 teaspoons kosher salt
Freshly ground black pepper
4 tablespoons (60 milliliters) extra-virgin olive oil, divided
1/4 teaspoon red chili flakes
1 bay leaf
3 cloves garlic, sliced lengthwise as thinly as possible
1/4 cup (60 milliliters) freshly squeezed lemon juice (from 2 large lemons)
1 cup (180 grams) pitted kalamata olives, halved lengthwise
2 tablespoons drained capers
1/4 cup (15 grams) roughly chopped fresh parsley

Instructions:

1. Place 1 chicken breast between two large pieces of parchment paper on a sturdy work surface. Pound with a meat mallet until the breast is about 1/4 inch (6 millimeters) thick. If you don’t have a mallet, you can use a heavy pan or rolling pin. Set aside and repeat with the remaining breasts.

2. Season each breast with 1/4 teaspoon salt per side and a generous amount of pepper.

3. In your widest sauté or frying pan, heat 2 tablespoons (30 milliliters) of the oil, the chili flakes, and bay leaf until very hot, about 1 minute.

4. Place 2 of the breasts in the pan and cook until golden, 2 to 3 minutes. Flip and cook until the other side is also golden, 1 to 2 minutes. Transfer the breasts to a plate. Remove and discard the bay leaf. Repeat with the remaining 2 breasts and set aside. Remove the pan from the heat.

5. Add the remaining 2 tablespoons (30 milliliters) oil and the garlic to the pan. Reduce the heat to medium and cook until the garlic begins to soften, scraping up the browned bits from the bottom of the pan, about 1 minute.

6. Add the lemon juice and cook, stirring, for 30 seconds. Add the olives and capers and cook until well combined, about 1 minute.

7. Return the chicken and any juices from the plate to the pan. Stir to coat, cover, and cook until the chicken is completely cooked through, about 3 minutes.

8. Uncover, remove from the heat, and add the parsley. To serve, place each breast on a plate, or all of them on a platter, and spoon some of the olive mixture on top of each one.Serves 4.

Maggie

Lily&Me · 05-27-2015, 06:20 AM

A very busy day yesterday.

Made a major run to WalMart, as out of nearly all things fresh.....and dog food.

Lily gets so excited whenever I buy new dog food....tail wagging furiously, sniffing hard at the bags. "ohhhh, boy! No hungry Lily again for awhile!"

I have to think that goes back to her abandoned self, prior to our finding her.....when she was a very, very hungry girl. Sweet baby.

Then.....actually cooked a meal, see below, rather than piecing something together out of the frig and pantry. Preparing a meal vs putting together something appropriate to eat.....as I generally do.

My wonderful yard guys were here to cut down and remove the trellis and posts Doug and I put up for privacy around the patio 20 years ago or so....before the fenced in back yard, meant to stop meandering young people from the apartment buildings north of us from using our back yard as the most direct shortcut to downtown Normal.

Easier than the thru streets or bike path either side of us, don'tcha know.

No matter that we might be sitting on our patio, having a drink and/or enjoying dinner.

Little house, a very nice little house, resides in the low rent district....which is absolutely no problem for me....but requires some accommodations to maintain quality of life. You can't have everything.

Trellis gone, the patio and back yard are so opened up, and, after some clean-up, it's going to be grand.

While they were cutting and removing, I went to Best Buy with my gift card from miles redeemed on my most-wonderful Capitol One Venture card....and picked up my 32gb, wifi, IPad mini, which will replace the IPad and the Verizon Jetpack.

Small, compact, easy to use, and very fast. A small, but not terribly arduous, learning curve. Computer wizard son will help with a bit of fine tuning today. I love it.

Patio scrubbing and cleanup today, one of the final steps in readying the little house for the annual family gathering here first weekend in June......after which I will have grands with me for four days, during which time we will be training to Chicago for the day. So looking forward to that.

Then....the Moraine View rally 20 minutes from here

....after that, final preparations for the great Gila Wilderness adventure!

Now that I have my sun hat, all I have to do is a bit of packing.

Can't wait.

Maggie

Lily&Me · 05-27-2015, 01:39 PM

Patio scrubbed and tidied......wood pile to be relocated tomorrow.

But for my adult son, Doug and I always said we would still not have a computer. We hear people talk of having to send theirs off for this, that and the other......we had my son, who is a computer wizard and has been that for 31 years.....since I bought an Apple PC when he was 12.

He took to computers and electronics like a duck to water, soon picking up cast off parts from the street....bringing them home, and fixing them.

Now making a very good living with that hard-wired talent, he has been our 24-hour tech support since day 1. And, truly, has the patience of a saint....which is not something he learned from his mother.

But for him, I would have spent several hours, at least, today, with the Geek Squad or some such entity, getting everything in the new mini up and running properly........everything on the IPad saved to the proper place so it could then be accessed in the same app on the new mini.

Yikes. Son took care of it all over his lunch hour, me sipping a coffee he made for me. A good boy.

We may possibly have an addition to the wilderness rock docking adventure in July, but I don't know for sure yet. A Forums friend on the west coast......would be so great to meet her in person! I am hopeful.

Looking forward to meeting all the attendees, as there is not one of them I know other than from here.

The fortune in my cookie from Chinese carry out today said "Your emotional nature is strong and sensitive.".

Did they hit that one on the head.

True, but not always a good thing.

Maggie

TinCrumpet · 05-27-2015, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lily&Me