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Old 11-19-2005, 06:40 PM   #15
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Rog, it's amazing how, after all these years, you'd still recognize ummm, errrr... what's her name... from a single photo like that... were you close? Uh... nevermind... I don't think I want to know...

Roger
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Old 11-19-2005, 07:39 PM   #16
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Roger, I'm glad that you asked. Molly and I were inseperable and both members of the Marlon Perkins fan club. Imagine our surprise when Marlon Perkins invited us both on the caribou hunt!
I did not have much luck during the first day, other than capping a distant squirrel whom, in the light of day and with thick tree limbs behind him, certainly looked like a caribou with a giant rack.
It was on the second day of the hunt when Perkins claims to have felled the caribou. I was not aware of the excitement because I was back at camp preparing squirrel stew for the other hunters.
Can you imagine my surprise when Perkins dragged Molly back into camp and told me that she was the victim of a caribou attack?
Needless to say, I grabbed my gun and went in search of the crazed caribou which had long disappeared into Canada.
It's all history now but Molly can confirm my story. She works as a waitress at the Fargo truck stop on I-94 just south of town. She no longer has a twinkle in her eye or a zip to her step, but she still remembers Perkins congratulating her on her giant rack.
I, on the other hand, am left just to impart wisdom and history on these forums.
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Old 11-19-2005, 07:51 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rog0525
she still remembers Perkins congratulating her on her giant rack.
My thirty years of public service have taught me that sometimes discretion is the better part of valor. There are just some responses that are left unsaid in this world!

So... with that I shall just say... a story well told, Sir.

Roger
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Old 11-19-2005, 07:53 PM   #18
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Talking Karma?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rog0525
Roger, I'm glad that you asked. Molly and I were inseperable and both members of the Marlon Perkins fan club.
I gave you karma, because there was no place to give you blarney !

Tin Lizzie
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Old 11-20-2005, 02:13 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rog0525
Roger, I'm glad that you asked. Molly and I were inseperable and both members of the Marlon Perkins fan club. Imagine our surprise when Marlon Perkins invited us both on the caribou hunt!
I did not have much luck during the first day, other than capping a distant squirrel whom, in the light of day and with thick tree limbs behind him, certainly looked like a caribou with a giant rack.
It was on the second day of the hunt when Perkins claims to have felled the caribou. I was not aware of the excitement because I was back at camp preparing squirrel stew for the other hunters.
Can you imagine my surprise when Perkins dragged Molly back into camp and told me that she was the victim of a caribou attack?
Needless to say, I grabbed my gun and went in search of the crazed caribou which had long disappeared into Canada.
It's all history now but Molly can confirm my story. She works as a waitress at the Fargo truck stop on I-94 just south of town. She no longer has a twinkle in her eye or a zip to her step, but she still remembers Perkins congratulating her on her giant rack.
I, on the other hand, am left just to impart wisdom and history on these forums.
After following up on your story with Molly, (by the way she is still flirting for a bigger tip after all of these years, and they still have the worlds best cherry pie for just 50 cents) your story was spot on.

The only variation in her story was that, much like the TV show, Jim was actually the one who did all of the work while Marlon stayed at a safe distance. Jim flew the helicopter. Jim wrestled the dangerous Dakota gators, and waded through the Dakota swamps to catch the dangerous Dakota python. Jim was actually the one to fell the caribou, after chasing it on foot for 10 miles while Marlon rode in the copter.

You see, it is a little known fact that Marlon's biggest claim to fame is that he taught Martha Stuart how to have everyone else do the work. Martha did take it a step further by also taking all of the credit. At least Marlon let Jim be on the show.

But I digress...

Molly also wanted to know if you were still had your successful jack-alope business. She pointed to the truck stop end cap with several nicely mounted jack-alopes and said they were yours. She told the story of how it all started when you glued the entire squirrel skeleton together with the mini-antlers that Jim gave you. She knew you had made quite a living putting antlers on jackrabbit mounts to sell as the ever famous jack-alopes from the Dakotas. She said she would be happy to put a picture of your Squirrel-alope up in the truck stop, if you had one to send her. She thought it might boost the jack-alope sales by as much as 10%.

She sends her love and kisses, and hopes you can make it "up nort" soon.
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Old 11-20-2005, 10:12 AM   #20
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Mark and Kimber, thanks a ton for verifying my information. I was beginnining to think that some doubted my factual account of events.
It is true that Jim did most of the dangerous work while Marlon observed but Marlon has always claimed that it was his act of heroism in resuscitating Molly which saved her life after she fainted from fright due to the harrowing event. Only those of us who gathered around the campfire that night and consumed the delicious stew knew the full story until now. Jim was not a dinner guest because Marlon had posted him as security guard to ward off the bears which were attracted to the tantalizing aroma of the stew.
As for your mention of jackalope hunting, I no longer participate in that sport due to the widespread skepticism of their existence even though I have photographic proof.
If you should see Molly again, please convey my undying love and best wishes along with my apology for putting that rubber snake in her sleeping bag.
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Old 11-20-2005, 11:07 AM   #21
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New Evidence

A recently discovered lost episode from Mutual of Omaha's "Wild Kingdom" shows naturalist Jim Fowler trying to subdue a CRAZED prong-horn jackalope. Marlin Perkins was heard to say "try giving it a carrot Jim."

Fortunately Jim had good insurance.
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Old 12-03-2005, 10:35 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rog0525
Mark and Kimber, thanks a ton for verifying my information.....If you should see Molly again, please convey my undying love and best wishes along with my apology for putting that rubber snake in her sleeping bag.
Your post has provided me with an incredible motivation to return to the truck stop and share your long-held feelings with Molly.

I have managed to make the multi-hundred mile trip to the truck stop, and you will be comforted to know that your putting the rubber snake in her sleeping bag has not deterred her feelings.

Her response can be paraphrased by "oh contraire, monfrair". I didn't want to interrupt here, but I do believe that to be a movie quote. It appears that she has always held the perspective that you were acting as a middle-school-aged boy would act to a girl. Meaning that the snake in her sleeping bag actually gave her hope that you had feelings for her.

I don't know if her obvious feelings for you are true or if they are related to a feeling of despair, knowing that you can pull her out of the reality that she lives on a daily basis. I'm sure she would love to have you pull her into a world of not worrying about rent and food on the table. It is an interesting human experiment to look at her current attractive appearance, and wonder if having money would have treated her body different. If she had money, would she have retained a figure that is desired even by a 20 year old male on spring break? Would her flirting really increase her tips by such a large amount if she were a "healthy" looking woman?

An example of what I mean to say is... in grad school, I had a Chinese National tell me I was "fat". To her that was the ultimate compliment. To me, well let's just say I wasn't all that flattered.

What she was trying to do was give me a compliment, as rich people in China are "healthy" (as I like to call it) in her experience, and only the rich are able to afford enough food to be "healthy". The poor do not have enough money to over-eat and become "healthy". Of course, as an American, being called "fat" wasn't the happiest point in my life.

But I digress, she is greatly disappointed to hear that you have sold the jackalope business, as in her eyes this was her ticket out of serving the (fill in the blank) at the truck stop.

The sparkle in her eyes, as I told her that you still loved her, was a wonderful thing to experience. It nearly compared to the watching the sun set as you are in Negril, Jamaica.

So I don't know if this has helped, but she would love to have you walk in the truck stop and take her away.
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Old 12-04-2005, 12:26 AM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rog0525
She no longer has a twinkle in her eye or a zip to her step, but she still remembers Perkins congratulating her on her giant rack.
Truth is she has one additional thing from that "episode": a love child named Jim. Yes, she and Jim conceived a love child that very night in Marlon's tent as Marlon watched after he had drug her back to his tent and was too exhausted to, well you know, so he called Jim to do all of the physical stuff for him. Yes, that was in the early days back before viagra.
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Old 12-04-2005, 02:10 AM   #24
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Well, I could go on and on......so I will. Jim and Molly took a vacation to Austrailia with their love child to escape the scandal. When things quieted down, they returned to the states and went their separate ways. They left the boy with a nice couple in Queensland who owned a wildlife zoo. They renamed him Steve. The plan was to bring the boy home later but Steve fell in love with the Australian wildlife (especially the crocodiles) and refused to leave.
Steve and his lovely wife Teri (who coincidentally happens to be from the nortwestern USA) started their own tv show years later. Perhaps you've seen it and if so. you've probably noticed the uncanny resemblance between Jim Fowler and Steve Irwin. So now you have it.....the rest of the story.
As for Molly and me, well.....thinking of the world's best cherry pie does make me drool a little, so who knows?
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Old 12-04-2005, 07:02 AM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sovereignrwe

An example of what I mean to say is... in grad school, I had a Chinese National tell me I was "fat". To her that was the ultimate compliment. To me, well let's just say I wasn't all that flattered.
maybe she meant you were "phat".....
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Old 12-07-2005, 07:53 PM   #26
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maybe she meant you were "phat".....
norby
The funny thing is that I'm built more like a linebacker at 245 than that hippo that Jim saved Marlin from.

Ah I miss those innocent Sunday evenings/nights of 60 Minutes and Mutual of Omaha. Throwing in Maverick, the Muppet Show and Walt Disney for good measure.
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Old 12-07-2005, 08:24 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sovereignrwe
Ah I miss those innocent Sunday evenings/nights of 60 Minutes and Mutual of Omaha. Throwing in Maverick, the Muppet Show and Walt Disney for good measure.
What about BONANZA!

duh duh-duh-duh duh-duh-duh duh-duh-duh duh-duh-DA-DA
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Old 12-07-2005, 08:35 PM   #28
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This thread has headed off in a truely weird direction. Funny as hell, just...weird.
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