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Old 08-17-2007, 10:45 PM   #351
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Fix-it

If it ain't broke: fix it til it is!!




Sex at 90, is like shooting pool with a rope.
George Burns

A woman's rule of thumb: If it has tires or testicles, your going to have trouble with it!!
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So when is this..."old enough to know better" supposed to kick in?
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Old 08-18-2007, 12:28 AM   #352
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Funny Sayings with a military twist

"UFO's are real, the Air Force is made up"

and my favorite from Jump School at Fort Benning:

"I dont want anybody to take the initiative until I tell them to."

I really heard a First Sergeant say that, I think I wet my pants laughing.

John
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Old 08-18-2007, 01:19 AM   #353
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Wise men speak when they have something to say, fools speak because they have to say something.
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Old 08-18-2007, 02:18 AM   #354
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People wonder if a man is kind, only children and animals know for sure.
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Old 08-18-2007, 06:15 AM   #355
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Quote:
Originally Posted by love vintage
You think you are a wit.... you're half right.

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker. (Ogden Nash)

Dumber than a doorknob.

The day after the night before.

Don't play with your belly-button, you will fly around the room backwards. (Courtesy of mothers raising kids in the 50's).
Ah! Ogden Nash! one of my favourite humourists(funny bone doctor!)

A perfect husband is someone who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick,
and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick!

Poem to a beautiful petrol pump attendant attendant on the M6:

"I wanted your soft verges, but you gave me the hard shoulder!

Roger McGough - Liverpudlian Urban Poet.

My father will tell you that if wit was Dynamite, you wouldn't have enough to blow tour hat off!

Thanks, Oh mighty Pumpkin for the answer to my quote! UPS are waiting for my parcel!
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Old 08-18-2007, 06:16 AM   #356
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Quote:
Originally Posted by love vintage
You think you are a wit.... you're half right.

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker. (Ogden Nash)

Dumber than a doorknob.

The day after the night before.

Don't play with your belly-button, you will fly around the room backwards. (Courtesy of mothers raising kids in the 50's).
Ah! Ogden Nash! one of my favourite humourists(funny bone doctor!)

A perfect husband is someone who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick,
and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick!

Poem to a beautiful petrol pump attendant attendant on the M6:

"I wanted your soft verges, but you gave me the hard shoulder!

Roger McGough - Liverpudlian Urban Poet.

My father will tell you that if wit was Dynamite, you wouldn't have enough to blow tour hat off!

Thanks, Oh mighty Pumpkin for the answer to my quote! UPS are waiting for my parcel!
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Old 08-18-2007, 06:43 AM   #357
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Didn't read all 26 pages, sorry if this was said before.

"No good deed goes unpunished"
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Old 08-18-2007, 12:38 PM   #358
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When you are inside the fort, dont fight the soldiers

It means be nice to the ones who are closest to you.
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Old 08-29-2007, 04:26 PM   #359
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Old 08-29-2007, 04:34 PM   #360
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Fun

Time's Fun<><>When Your Have'n Flies......Kermit T. Frog.
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So when is this..."old enough to know better" supposed to kick in?
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Old 09-02-2007, 04:17 PM   #361
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"... you care for nothing but shooting, dogs and rat catching, and you will be a disgrace to yourself and your family"!

-Charles Darwins father to young Charles
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Old 09-02-2007, 06:23 PM   #362
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This is for guys who use to be...

"His Ego is writing checks that his body can't cash."

My friend Pete said that to me right before I wiped out on a bump run in Steamboat Springs, CO
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Old 09-02-2007, 08:16 PM   #363
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A fool and his money are some party.
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Old 09-02-2007, 08:18 PM   #364
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Another Yogi Berra quote...

It's deja-vu all over again
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