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Old 12-01-2006, 09:57 PM   #1
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Welcome! AS Comedy Club

Ok, it is Friday. I have had a REALLY long, hard week. How about a few favorite jokes from my fellow Forum members to help me relax. Nothing good on TV and my Netflixs are "lost" somewhere in a stack of junk mail.

What tickles YOUR fancy?

Remember - we are moderated, so...keep it clean!
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Old 12-01-2006, 10:09 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roscinante
Ok, it is Friday. I have had a REALLY long, hard week. How about a few favorite jokes from my fellow Forum members to help me relax. Nothing good on TV and my Netflixs are "lost" somewhere in a stack of junk mail.

What tickles YOUR fancy?

Remember - we are moderated, so...keep it clean!
Hi Roscinante,

Here's a quickie for you:

What do you get when you put a parrot and a centiped together?
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Old 12-01-2006, 10:23 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by codybear

What do you get when you put a parrot and a centiped together?
*******************

Something in the motorola family;
a walkie-talkie
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Old 12-01-2006, 10:25 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by empresley
*******************

Something in the motorola family;

a walkie-talkie
Whoohoo!!!
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Old 12-01-2006, 10:37 PM   #5
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Signature

CodyBear...

LOVE your signature - "Stop and experience life." Our AS really does enable that.

Jerry
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Old 12-01-2006, 10:39 PM   #6
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God: Jim, you have been such a wolderful person, I have decised to grant you
a single wish.
Jim: I would like to see a bridge from California to Hawaii as I would really like
to drive to Honolulu.
God: Jim, that's really a lot to ask. Wouldn't you like to reconsider and ask for something more reasonable.
Jim: Lord, I would like to know what women really think.
God: How many lanes do you want on that bridge?
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Old 12-01-2006, 10:40 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roscinante
CodyBear...

LOVE your signature - "Stop and experience life." Our AS really does enable that.

Jerry
Hi Jerry,

Thnx..are you going to the 29 Palms rally!..check out the rally forums, and sign up and join in the fun
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Old 12-02-2006, 12:00 AM   #8
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A guy walks into a bar.... ...he says "OUCH!" It was a iron bar.

How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!

When you make your chili, use only 239 beans. If you use one more, it'll be 240!

Hey, did you hear the one about the photographer who locked himself in his darkroom? Yeah well, he ended up dying of exposure. It was not a pretty picture!

I'll be here all week, folks! G'nite!
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Old 12-02-2006, 12:06 AM   #9
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hey while shopping the other day I saw the new Divorce Barbie-comes with all of Kens things!
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Old 12-02-2006, 12:14 AM   #10
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Guy walks into a barber shop and asks, "how long before I can get a haircut?" Barber says, "'Bout two hours." Guy leaves. Comes back in the next day, asks "how long before I can get a haircut?" Barber says, "'Bout two and a half hours." Guy leaves again. Comes back yet again the next day, asks again, barber tells him "'bout three hours." Guy leaves, and Barber finally asks another customer to follow him and find out where he goes after he leaves, so he does. The other customer returns after a few minutes. "Well, where has he been going?" the Barber asks, to which the customer replies, "Your house."
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Old 12-02-2006, 12:50 AM   #11
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Another Barber joke...

A man sits down in the barber chair and the barber asks him how he wants his hair cut. The customer said, " real close on the left, medium on top and kinda long on the right side".
The barber said "I can't do that!"
The customer said "You did last time..."
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Old 12-02-2006, 01:12 AM   #12
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St. Peter, having to take a break from watching the Pearly Gates, asks Jesus to fill in until he returns. Jesus says that he has'nt done that before, but St. Peter say's that all one has to do when someone shows up is to ask them their name, what they did in life, if they had any children etc. Jesus says that He would give it a go.
An old man shows up, Jesus asks his name, The old man says that his name is Joseph.Jesus asks him what he did for his life's work, to which the old man said that he was a carpenter. Jesus then asks did you have any children and the old man says with a tear in his eye, yes, I had a son, but I lost him! He had holes in his hands and feet and I miss him so!! Jesus looks at the man and with a tear in his eye says,---Dad? The old man answers --Pinochio?
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Old 12-02-2006, 07:30 AM   #13
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Keep it going!
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Old 12-02-2006, 08:04 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by doorgunner
hey while shopping the other day I saw the new Divorce Barbie-comes with all of Kens things!
Ouch! you wrecked it. gotta tell it this way:

...new divorced barbie. comes with:

-Ken's house
-Ken's car
-Ken's boat
-Ken's RV....


Its more effective when you actually "itemize".

of course, now that I've dissected the joke, its not funny at all anymore
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