Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
 
Old 02-02-2007, 09:49 AM   #99
Rivet Master<br><img src="/ugala/forums/images/5rivet.gif">
 
CanoeStream's Avatar

 
2006 25' Safari FB SE
St. Cloud , Minnesota
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 13,279
Images: 19
Blog Entries: 3
Texas Women, Kittens and Biscuits

I betray my Alamo-town roots (from my mom):

Someone once noted that a Texan can get away with the most awful kind of insult just as long as it's prefaced with the words, "Bless her heart" or "Bless his heart." As in, "Bless his heart, if they put his brain on the head of a pin, it'd roll around like a BB on a 6-lane highway."

I was thinking about this the other day when a friend was telling about her new transplanted northern friend who was upset because her toddler is just beginning to talk and he has a Texas accent. My friend, who is very kind and, bless her heart, cannot do a thing about those thighs of hers, was justifiably miffed about this. After all, this woman had CHOSEN to move to Texas a couple of years ago.

"Can you believe it?" said her friend, "A child of mine is going to be "taaaallllkkin liiiike thiiiissss."

Now, don't get me wrong. Some of my dearest friends are from the North, bless their hearts. I welcome their perspective, their friendships, and their recipes for authentic Northern Italian food. I've even gotten past their endless complaints that you can't find good bread down here. And the heathens, bless their hearts, don't like cornbread!

I have a friend from Bawston, bless her heart, who thinks it's hilarious when I say I've got to "carry" my daughter to the doctor or "cut off" the light. She also gets a giggle every time I am "fixin" to do something. And, bless their hearts, they don't even know where "over yonder" is, or what "I reckon" means!

My personal favorite was my aunt, saying, "Bless her heart, she cain't help being ugly, but she could'uh stayed home."


Texas girls know bad manners when they see them:
1. Drinking straight out of a can.
2. Not sending thank you notes.
3. Velvet after February.
4. White shoes before Memorial Day or after Labor Day.

Texas girls always say:
1. "Yes Maam."
2. "Yessir."

Texas girls have a distinct way with fond expressions:
1. "Yawl come back."
2. "Well, bless yer harrt."
3. "Drop by when ya can."
4. "How's yer mama?"
5. "Love yer hair."

Texas girls know their three R's:
1. Rich
2. Richer
3. Richest

Texas girls know everybody's first name:
1. Hunny
2. Darlin'
3. Shuger

Texas girls know the movies that speak to their hearts:
1. "Gone With the Wind"
2. "Fried Green Tomatoes"
3. "Driving Miss Daisy"
4. "Steel Magnolias"

Texas girls know the three deadly sins:
1. Bad hair
2. Bad manners
3. Bad blind dates

G.R.I.T. = Girls Raised in Texas !

Now you run along, Shuger, and send this to ANY females aspiring to be GRITS--Even the northern ones, "Bless Their Hearts".

"Just because you move to Texas does not make you a Texan. After all, if a cat had kittens and moved them to the oven, that wouldn't make them biscuits."
__________________

__________________
Bob

5 meter Langford Nahanni

CanoeStream is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2007, 10:21 AM   #100
Rivet Master
 
Phil and/or Sue's Avatar
 
1997 34' Limited
Young Harris , Georgia
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 857
Images: 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by Canoe stream
...
"Just because you move to Texas does not make you a Texan. After all, if a cat had kittens and moved them to the oven, that wouldn't make them biscuits."
That is good!
__________________

__________________
Phil and/or Sue w/ Cheryl & Penny and Roger
(Buffett RIP 9/15/08, Gus RIP 12/22/2015)
1997 34' Excella
'09 Dodge Cummins Ram 3500 Crew 4x4 auto
AIR 1753
Phil and/or Sue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-04-2007, 09:29 PM   #101
Rivet Master
 
safari57's Avatar
 
1951 21' Flying Cloud
1960 24' Tradewind
West Coast , BC
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 3,790
Images: 10
Send a message via MSN to safari57
new grocery store near us

The new supermarket, near our house has an automatic water mister to keep produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of thunder and the smell of fresh rain.


When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and witness the scent of fresh hay.



When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.



The veggie department features the sound of a gentle breeze and the smell of fresh buttered corn.



I don't buy toilet paper there any more,
__________________
safari57 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-04-2007, 11:58 PM   #102
4 Rivet Member
 
2007 25' Safari FB SE
Blaine , Washington
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 291
Always borrow money from pessimists.

They don't expect it back.
__________________
Relentless is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2007, 12:03 AM   #103
4 Rivet Member
 
2007 25' Safari FB SE
Blaine , Washington
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 291
A blond is driving down the road when she gets pulled over by a cop. The cop comes over to the window and turns out to be another blond.

The cop asks the driver for her driver's license. The driver says " What does it look like?"

The cop says " Its small, rectangular and has your picture on it."

The blond searches her purse and finds a small makeup mirror. She looks at it and hands it to the cop.

The cop looks at it and says, "You can go. I didn't know you were a cop."
__________________
Relentless is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2007, 12:45 AM   #104
Rivet Master
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,183
Did you hear that the inventor of intermittent windshield wipers is getting a divorce?




It's all right because his marriage was "ON" and "OFF" again all of the time!
__________________
Anon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2007, 12:51 AM   #105
Rivet Master
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,183
A man walks into a bar and hears beautiful piano music coming from the bar top. He wanders over and sees a 1 foot tall man playing a piano.
The man asks the bartender, "Where did you get the little guy playing the piano?"
To which the bartender replies, "I got him from my genie who sits in the back of the bar."
The man asks, "Would your genie grant me a wish?"
The bartender replies, "Sure but you have to speak up because he is a little hard of hearing."
The man walks to the back of the bar and sees this genie sitting alone in a corner booth.
He politely says to the genie, "I would like a million bucks, please."
The genie blinks and the bar fills up with a million ducks!
Frustrated, the man walks back up to the bartender and says angrily, "I asked your genie for a million bucks and he gave me a million ducks!"
While pointing to the little guy playing the piano he bartender snidely replies, "Do you REALLY think that I asked for a 12 inch pianist?"

Thanks for coming and drive home safely.
__________________
Anon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2007, 08:21 AM   #106
Tom, the Uber Disney Fan
 
Minnie's Mate's Avatar
 
2006 30' Safari
Orlando , Florida
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 4,693
Images: 7
Quote:
Originally Posted by Canoe stream
G.R.I.T. = Girls Raised in Texas !
G.R.I.T.S. = Girls Raised In The South. My Momma was raised in the South, but she was a truly liberated woman. She was part of the woman's movement in the '60's. She just never marched in a woman's rights march in white shoes before Easter or after Labor Day! She also knew every body by their first names, too.
__________________
2006 30' Safari - "Changes in Latitudes"
2008 F-250 Lariat Power Stroke Diesel Crew Cab SWB
Family of Disney Fanatics
WBCCI# 4821
http://streaminacrossamerica.com/
Minnie's Mate is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-13-2007, 12:22 PM   #107
Rivet Master
 
safari57's Avatar
 
1951 21' Flying Cloud
1960 24' Tradewind
West Coast , BC
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 3,790
Images: 10
Send a message via MSN to safari57
Now this one hurts for us CAR guys/guy-ettes

To my darling husband,

Before you return from your overseas trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me.

I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car.

I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart. I am enclosing a picture for you.

I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.

Your loving wife.
XXX








P.S. Your girlfriend called.
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	ouch as pic.jpg
Views:	100
Size:	56.8 KB
ID:	32294  
__________________
safari57 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-13-2007, 12:29 PM   #108
Tom, the Uber Disney Fan
 
Minnie's Mate's Avatar
 
2006 30' Safari
Orlando , Florida
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 4,693
Images: 7
Quote:
Originally Posted by safari57
To my darling husband,

Before you return from your overseas trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me.

I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car.

I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart. I am enclosing a picture for you.

I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.

Your loving wife.
XXX









P.S. Your girlfriend called.
Oooouch!!! Just the thought hurts.
__________________
2006 30' Safari - "Changes in Latitudes"
2008 F-250 Lariat Power Stroke Diesel Crew Cab SWB
Family of Disney Fanatics
WBCCI# 4821
http://streaminacrossamerica.com/
Minnie's Mate is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-13-2007, 04:21 PM   #109
Rivet Master
 
TinShack's Avatar

 
2005 28' Safari S/O
Paradise , California
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 3,438
Images: 28
Ouch is right!! And it's a Ferrari too!
__________________
Steve
"THE OLDER I GET, THE BETTER I WAS"
TinShack is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-13-2007, 04:40 PM   #110
Rivet Master
 
2007 25' Safari FB SE
Suburbia , Sunny So Cal
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,756
Quote:
Originally Posted by slowolf
Ouch is right!! And it's a Ferrari too!
Was a Ferrari.
__________________
I'd rather be boon docking in the desert.

WBCCI 6731 FCU
AIR# 13896
CA 4
Goin camping is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-13-2007, 05:19 PM   #111
Well Preserved

 
1993 21' Sovereign
Colfax , North Carolina
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 20,192
Quote:
Originally Posted by Goin camping
Was a Ferrari.
It;s still a Ferarri, just slightly mangled.
__________________
Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy, and taste good with ketchup.
Terry
overlander63 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-13-2007, 05:50 PM   #112
Rivet Master
 
2007 25' Safari FB SE
Suburbia , Sunny So Cal
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,756
Quote:
Originally Posted by overlander63
It;s still a Ferarri, just slightly mangled.
Nope, It was a Ferarri. Now it's a parts car.
__________________

__________________
I'd rather be boon docking in the desert.

WBCCI 6731 FCU
AIR# 13896
CA 4
Goin camping is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Tracing a Wally Byam Club Member Number Simplyspent Airstream History 40 03-01-2017 10:45 AM
orange barrel club ALANSD Airstream Motorhome Forums 13 10-08-2009 11:06 AM
Motorhome club name ViewRVs Airstream Motorhome Forums 9 06-09-2009 08:18 PM
New trailer, old club rally Pahaska Other Rallies & Events 7 07-24-2002 02:26 PM


Virginia Campgrounds

Reviews provided by




Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:21 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

Airstream is a registered trademark of Airstream Inc. All rights reserved. Airstream trademark used under license to Social Knowledge LLC.