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Old 01-28-2007, 10:39 PM   #85
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New Mirrors for those who wish to go the thrifty" route
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Old 01-29-2007, 01:11 AM   #86
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Now, that's funny!!!
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Old 01-31-2007, 08:02 PM   #87
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We went out to dinner w/some friends last night..my friend asked the server if she could have a White Russian..the server said, just a second please, ma'am and disappeared from our tabke..2 seconds later, he brought back w/him a 6 ft. handsome White Russian...will this do, he says???..she says yes, I'll take that 'to go'..
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Old 01-31-2007, 09:57 PM   #88
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COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington and they tracked her calves to their stalls? But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give them each a cow.

THE CONSTITUTION

They keep talking about drafting a constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it's worked for over 200 years and we're not using it any more.

TEN COMMANDMENTS

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse........You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shalt Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians -- it creates a hostile work environment.
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Old 01-31-2007, 10:25 PM   #89
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if this doesn't get me thrown off the forum.....

Guy walks into a bar...no one in the place, 'cept the bartender and him...and the bartender is on the phone.
As soon as he sits down at a stool, The guy hears as plain as day..
"Gee, that is a nice tie you are wearing!"
He looks around, seeing no one...confused....he orders a drink...
Few minutes later, same voice..clear as a bell..'The cut of your suit is impeccable!!"
Guy still sees nobody, and the barkeep is still conversing on the phone.
Again, a few minutes later, the same voice says, "You are really looking marvelous today!"....
By this time the customer has had it, and demands that the bartender speak to him....He asks where these voices are coming from.....
The bartender looks at him very calmly, and declares....

"Oh, that !! That's the peanuts!! They're complimentary!!!"
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When it is my time, I want to go peacefully,
And in my sleep.....Just like my Grandfather....
Not screaming, kicking and in a state of panic,
like the other passengers in his car were......
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Old 01-31-2007, 11:04 PM   #90
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Test: Bird Gender Identification

Which is the Female?

Please guess to yourself (not out loud, or on-line).
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Old 01-31-2007, 11:36 PM   #91
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I can't tell but the one on the right kinda reminds me of my ex wife.
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Old 02-01-2007, 12:28 AM   #92
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil and/or Sue
Which is the Female?

Please guess to yourself (not out loud, or on-line).
The one closest to the mall
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Old 02-01-2007, 09:00 AM   #93
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil and/or Sue
Which is the Female?

Please guess to yourself (not out loud, or on-line).
It's the one driving during rush hour traffic while talking on her cell phone. Men aren't that good at multi-tasking!
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Old 02-01-2007, 04:26 PM   #94
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil and/or Sue
Which is the Female?

Please guess to yourself (not out loud, or on-line).

Depends on who's house you are visiting...
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Old 02-01-2007, 04:31 PM   #95
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Long on luxury

Here is the latest in SOB camping...
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Old 02-01-2007, 04:39 PM   #96
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Hey, that thing is cool! Wonder if it has a cab pass-thru window so you can sneak off for a little while. For a nap of course.
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Old 02-01-2007, 05:19 PM   #97
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How about a Riddle?

Hi I'm from OSHA and I am here to help you!

Hi I'm from the IRS and I am here to help you!

Hi I'm from the DNR and I am here to help you!

Hi I'm from FEMA and I am here to help you!

Hi I am you elected representative and I am here to help you.

Hi I am your soon to be ex wife's divorce attorney, I am here to help you.

Hi I am the local Fire Marshal and I am here to help you!

Hi I am the local health inspector and I am here to help you!

Hi I am Vito, I work for Frank, you owe Frank, I am here to help you!

Only one of these interesting people is truly being honest and truthful, the riddle is which one? It could be anyone - it could be everyone.

The real test is why you think the one you choose is honest over the others.
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Old 02-01-2007, 09:01 PM   #98
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Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm: "Oh, my goodness!"

Mae West: "Goodness had nothing to do with it."
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