OK...These are a few of my favorites. Last time I posted these in the forums it was January 2005. Looks like there is a lot of new blood in here so I hope you all get another laugh out of them........
Granny's Carpool
A state police officer observed a car puttering along the highway at only 22 m.p.h. He turned on his lights and pulled the car over. Approaching the vehicle, he noticed that it contained five old ladies, two in the front seat and three in the back, and that all the old ladies were wide-eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, said, "Officer, I don't understand. I was going exactly the speed limit. What's the problem?"
"Ma'am," the officer replied, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."
"Slower than the speed limit? I'm following the posted speed exactly!"
The officer, trying to contain a chuckle, explained "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. Embarassed, the woman smiled and thanked him for pointing out her error. Before letting her go, however, the officer asked, "Is everyone in the car okay? Those women seem awfully shaken, and they haven't made a peep this whole time."
"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute, officer. We just got off Route 119."
another???
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm.
A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.' "
The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You got a heart murmur. Be careful
ok...one more...don't get offended but this one had me cracking up....
Breakfast in the Buff
An elerly couple had been married for 50 years, and were having breakfast one morning when the woman says: "You know when we were first married we used to have breakfast every morning butt naked. Do you think we could try again?"
He thinks that's a good idea and they take off their clothes.
After a few minutes she says: "You know my breasts still get hot for you even after all these years."
He replies: " Honey, that's because you have one nipple in your oatmeal and the other in your coffee."
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2006 30' Safari - "Changes in Latitudes"
2008 F-250 Lariat Power Stroke Diesel Crew Cab SWB
Family of Disney Fanatics
WBCCI# 4821 streamin across america
Why is it that you drive on a parkway
and park on a driveway?
For the same reason we click the "start" button when we want to turn off our PC's!
Because it is America!
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2006 30' Safari - "Changes in Latitudes"
2008 F-250 Lariat Power Stroke Diesel Crew Cab SWB
Family of Disney Fanatics
WBCCI# 4821 streamin across america
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