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Old 11-28-2009, 06:50 PM   #589
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A little knownfact...

The first testicular guard (Cup) was used in baseball in 1874. The first helmet was used in 1934.
It took 60 years for men to realize that the brain is also important.
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Old 12-01-2009, 02:22 PM   #590
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Do you think I can win this years Christmas decoration contest?
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PFC.....

“After all these years the reason I continue to love Thanksgiving.....I still sit at the kids table.”
RLC

Sandra wanted to go to Cleveland on vacation,
but I’m the Husband, so we went to Cleveland.
RLC
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Old 12-02-2009, 10:45 AM   #591
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Two elderly residents, one male and one female, were sitting alone in the lobby of their nursing home one evening.

The old man looked over and said to the old lady, "I know just what you're wanting, and for $5 I'll have sex with you right over there in that rocking chair."

The old lady looked surprised but didn't say a word.

The old man continued, "For $10 I'll do it with you on that nice soft sofa over there, but for $20 I'll take you back to my room, light some candles, and give you the most romantic evening you've ever had in your life."

The old lady still says nothing but after a couple minutes, starts digging down in her purse. She pulls out a wrinkled $20 bill and holds it up.

"So you want the nice romantic evening in my room," says the old man.

"Get serious you old s***", she replies. "I want it four times in the rocking chair!"

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Old 12-02-2009, 05:13 PM   #592
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These aren't the droids you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
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Old 12-02-2009, 09:16 PM   #593
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streaking

no windows streak




New use for Windex

I haven't checked to see if this actually works or not . . .
But they say,
If you ever get the sudden urge to run around naked,
you should sniff some Windex first.

*****

****

***

**

*

**

***

****

*****

******
It'll keep you from streaking.
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Old 12-02-2009, 09:33 PM   #594
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Don't you mean:
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Phil and/or Sue w/ Cheryl & Penny and Roger
(Buffett RIP 9/15/08, Gus RIP 12/22/2015)
1997 34' Excella
'09 Dodge Cummins Ram 3500 Crew 4x4 auto
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Old 12-03-2009, 05:43 AM   #595
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil and/or Sue View Post
Don't you mean:
Good on ya, mate!
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Old 12-03-2009, 01:28 PM   #596
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Signage Corrected...

I took the liberty of correcting the sign language...

All in fun...
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Phil and/or Sue w/ Cheryl & Penny and Roger
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Old 12-03-2009, 04:30 PM   #597
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A man boarded a plane with six kids.

After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, "Are all of those kids yours ? "


He replied, " No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints going back to the factory."
___________________________________

"Here's your sign!"
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Old 12-03-2009, 09:33 PM   #598
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christmas pictures

The Tiger Woods' Family Christmas Portrait
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Old 12-04-2009, 05:18 AM   #599
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Thumbs down Attention....secret service.

I had a nightmare last night.

I was at the President's State Dinner with no place to sit....


Think about it....
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PFC.....

“After all these years the reason I continue to love Thanksgiving.....I still sit at the kids table.”
RLC

Sandra wanted to go to Cleveland on vacation,
but I’m the Husband, so we went to Cleveland.
RLC
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Old 12-04-2009, 06:32 AM   #600
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Two old gals were found sitting in a parked car at 2:00am in a used auto dealer's lot.

The cop approached the car and asked if they were trying to steal the car.

The lady behind the wheel assured him that they had in fact purchased the car the previous day.

"Then WHY in the world are you still parked here?" was asked.

"We were told anyone doing business here would get a good sc***ing, so we're waiting!"

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Old 12-04-2009, 04:30 PM   #601
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The love story of Ralph and Edna...




Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to,
doesn't mean
they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both
patients
in a mental hospital. One day they were walking past the hospital
swimming
pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and
pulled him
out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act
she
immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now
considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good
news and
bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were
able to
rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of
the
person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound
mindedness.
The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his
bathrobe belt
right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How
soon can
I go home?'
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Old 12-07-2009, 12:05 AM   #602
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Maxine, was driving down the highway about 75 miles an hour, when she noticed a motorcycle policeman following her. Instead of slowing down, she picked up speed.
.
When she looked back again, their were two motorcycles following her. She shot up to 90 miles. The next time she looked around, there were three cops following her.
.
Suddenly, she spotted a gas station looming ahead. She screeched to a stop and ran into the ladies' room. Ten minutes later, she innocently
walked out.
.
The three cops were standing there waiting for her. Without batting an eye, she said coyly, "I'll bet none of you thought I would make it."
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