Welcome! AS Comedy Club

[chapparel]

One day, long, long ago, there lived a woman who did not whine, nag or bitch.(That would be me...)

A Lovely Story About Me






But that was a long time ago and it was just that one day.
THE END.

[N2XBW]

Originally Posted by chapparel

One day, long, long ago, there lived a woman who did not whine, nag or bitch.(That would be me...)
A Lovely Story About Me
But that was a long time ago and it was just that one day.
THE END.

Cute!

[chapparel]

[N2XBW]

[chapparel]

[N2XBW]

[chapparel]

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said,
"Here's to spending the rest of me life!, between the legs of me
wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the
night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary,
"I won the prize for the Best toast of the night."
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in
church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the
street corner.
The man chuckled leeringly and said,
"John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about
you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself.
You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years.
Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the
ears to make him come."

[N2XBW]

John Hambrock

[chapparel]

Once in a while, in life, you run into a genius with true talent

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2.. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Tran substantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. No thanks, I'm married.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?

[N2XBW]

Simon Holdern is a retired PhD in chemistry.

He worked for Dupont.

He spent his time changing basic elements into useful compounds.

He now spends his time changing basic beer, wine and scotch into urine.

He seems very happy.

[chapparel]

[N2XBW]

[chapparel]

An elderly gentleman....
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'

[N2XBW]

Mohammad entered school in the US for the first time.

When the teacher asked his name, he replied," Mohammad".

"You're in the USA, now." said the teacher. "You now should call yourself 'Johnny'. That's a good American name."

That evening 'Johnny' took the wrath of both parents for daring to defy tradition and changing his name from that of the prophet.

Black and blue the next day, the teacher asked him what happened.

"I am an American for just a few hours, and a couple of &*^%#^& camel jockeys beat me up!"