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Old 10-21-2019, 04:24 AM   #701
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BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida, , USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
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A DOG walked into the small DINER and jumped right up on the COUNTER.

"I'll have a hamburger and a bowl of milk," he stated in clear English.

"Holy S- - -!" exclaimed the amazed counter man, "A talking dog... wow! You should be in the CIRCUS!"

The dog cocked his head and asked, "Why? Are they hiring RV salesmen?"
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Old 01-08-2020, 07:07 PM   #702
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At the campground pool a woman shouted, "Does anyone know CPR?!!"
I said. "I know the whole alphabet!"
Then everyone laughed and laughed... except this one guy.
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Old 01-09-2020, 06:49 AM   #703
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"There are few things in life I enjoy more than picking an argument with my wife when she has the hiccups"…..
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Old 01-09-2020, 12:36 PM   #704
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The EMTs couldn’t infuse the guy because they couldn’t determine his blood type. But they said his last words were inspirational: “Be positive!”
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Old 01-13-2020, 06:44 AM   #705
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To the slaves rowing the Roman galley:

"Good news, you all get extra grog with your lunch."

"Bad news, after lunch the captain wants to water ski!"
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Old 10-22-2020, 06:47 PM   #706
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Jumper on a bridge

Back on January 9th, a group of HELLS ANGELS, South Carolina bikers were riding east on 378 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Pee Dee River Bridge. So they stopped. George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, "Hey Baby…whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?
"She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"
While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either, so he asked . . ."Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe, why don't you give ol' George here your best last kiss?“
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.
After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then George says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting there, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."
It's still unclear whether the jumper actually jumped, or was pushed!
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Old 04-28-2022, 07:22 AM   #707
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LOTSA good ones!!

Thanks for posting!!!
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