For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads.
Most of us have naively thought this was connected with tradition or religion, but the Indian Embassy in Washington D.C. has
recently revealed the true story.
When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into
the union. On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the
Dot to see whether he's won a convenience store, a gas station,
a donut shop, a taxi cab, or a motel in America.
If nothing is there, he must remain in India to answer telephones
and provide us with technical support.
Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself. ~ Mark Twain
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2006 30' Safari - "Changes in Latitudes"
2008 F-250 Lariat Power Stroke Diesel Crew Cab SWB
Family of Disney Fanatics
WBCCI# 4821 streamin across america
Jose and Carlos are beggars. They beg in different areas
of town.
Carlos begs for the same amount of time
as Jose, but only collects about $8..00 or $9.00 a
day. Jose brings home a
suitcase full of ten dollar bills every day, he
drives a Mercedes,
lives in a mortgage-free house, and has a lot of money to
spend.
"Hey,
amigo," Carlos says to Jose, "I work just as long
and hard as you do, so how
come you bring home a suitcase full of ten dollar bills
every day?
Jose
says, "Look at your sign, what does it say?"
Carlo's sign reads; "I have
no work, a wife and six kids to support."
"What's wrong with that?" Carlos
asks him.
"No
wonder you only get $8.00 or $9.00 a day!"
Carlo's says, "All right, what does your
sign say?"
It reads, "I
only need another ten dollars to get back
to Mexico...."
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__________________ "Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain." AIR #17571
A young guy from Minnesota moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.
The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"
The kid says "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Minnesota ."
Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job.
"You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."
His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down.
"How many customers bought something from you today?
The kid says "one".
The boss says "Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers
a day. How much was the sale for?"
The kid says "$121,237.65".
The boss says "$121,237.65? What the heck did you sell?" The kid
says, "First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish
hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing
rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the
coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the
boat department and I sold him a twin engine Boston Whaler. Then he said
he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the
automotive department and sold him that 4 x 4 Expedition."
The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?"
The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing."
Sunburn Treatment
Bet you never thought of this... New Treatment For
Sunburn!!
A guy fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got
horrible
sunburn, specifically to his upper legs.
He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after
being
diagnosed with second-degree burns.
With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe
pain he
was in, the doctor prescribed continuous intravenous
feeding with
saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every
four hours.
The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked, 'What good
will
Viagra do for him, Doctor'?
The doctor replied, 'It won't do anything for his
condition, but it'll
keep the sheets off his legs.'
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__________________ "Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain." AIR #17571
Two businessmen were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store.
As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up.
One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some senior is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling."
No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious old-timer walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked, "What are you sellin' here?"
One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling a^^-holes."
Without skipping a beat, the old gent said, "Looks like you're doing well. Only two left."
A sweel little-ol' Texas lady was driving across a long bridge in Austin one day. As she neared the middle of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixin' (means 'getting ready to' in Texas ) to jump. She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said, "Please don't jump, think of your dear mother and father."
He replied, "Mom and Dad are both dead; I'm going to jump."
She said, "Well, think of your wife and children."
He replied, "I'm not married and I don't have any kids...."
She said, "Well then, at least Remember the Alamo ."
He asked, ''What's the Alamo ?''
She replied, ''Well bless your heart, just go ahead and jump, you dumb-a** Yankee.''
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"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, 
Spend it wisely! 
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