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chapparel · 11-13-2009, 06:07 PM

While discussing the upcoming Universal Health Care Program with my sister-in-law the other day, I think we have found the solution. I am sure you have heard the ideas that if you're a senior you need to suck it up and give up the idea that you need any health care. A new hip? Unheard of. We simply can't afford to take care of you anymore. You don't need any medications for your high blood pressure, diabetes, heart problems, etc. Let's take care of the young people. After all, they will be ruling the world very soon.

So here is the solution. When you turn 70, you get a gun and 3 bullets You are allowed to shoot one senator and 2 representatives. Of course, you will be sent to prison where you will get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head and all the health care you need! New teeth, great! Need glasses, no problem! New hip, knee, kidney,lung, heart? Well bring it on. And who will be paying for all of this. The same government that just told you that you are too old for health care. And, since you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income tax.

N2XBW · 11-14-2009, 07:50 AM

"When you turn 70, you get a gun and 3 bullets You are allowed to shoot one senator and 2 representatives."

I've got my 3 ready, with plenty to spare!

345bill · 11-14-2009, 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by N2XBW

We see that Santa doesn't want to answer that question! Good Post.

N2XBW · 11-14-2009, 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 345bill

We see that Santa doesn't want to answer that question! Good Post.

Santa then disappeared in a puff of logic!

{thanks, Douglas Adams}

chapparel · 11-14-2009, 10:05 PM

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring
(Hello? Hello? ), but when I immediately
call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail.
What'd you do after I didn't answer?
Drop the phone and run away?

N2XBW · 11-15-2009, 02:40 PM

The invisible man married an invisible woman.
The kids were nothing to look at either.

chapparel · 11-16-2009, 11:07 AM

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

N2XBW · 11-17-2009, 06:02 AM

The detective was questioning a suspect.

"Now, where were you between five and twelve?" he asked.

"In elementary school!" came the reply

chapparel · 11-17-2009, 06:08 PM

"THE BLOND AND THE COW"

A BLOND CITY GIRL NAMED AMY MARRIES A COLORADO RANCHER. ONE MORNING ON HIS WAY OUT TO CHECK ON THE COWS, THE RANCHER
SAYS TO AMY, THE INSEMINATION MAN IS COMING OVER TO IMPREGNATE ONE OF OUR COWS TODAY, SO I DROVE A NAIL INTO THE 2 BY 4 JUST ABOVE WHERE THE COW'S STALL IS IN THE BARN. PLEASE SHOW HIM WHERE THE COW IS WHEN HE GETS HERE, OK?
THE RANCHER LEAVES FOR THE FIELDS.
AFTER A WHILE, THE ARTIFICIAL INSEMINATION MAN ARRIVES AND KNOCKS ON THE FRONT DOOR. AMY TAKES HIM DOWN TO THE BARN. THEY WALK ALONG THE ROW OF STALLS AND WHEN AMY SEES THE NAIL, SHE TELLS HIM "THIS IS THE RIGHT ONE, RIGHT HERE" THE MAN, ASSUMING HE IS DEALING WITH AN AIR HEAD BLOND, ASKS "TELL ME LADY" AS I AM DYING TO KNOW; HOW WOULD YOU KNOW THAT THIS IS THE RIGHT COW TO BE BRED? "THATS SIMPLE," SHE SAID. "BY THE NAIL THATS OVER IT'S STALL, SHE EXPLAINS VERY CONFIDANTLY. LAUGHING VERY RUDELY AT HER, HE SAYS,AND WHAT PRAY TELL IS THE NAIL FOR?
THE BLOND TURNS TO WALK AWAY AND SAYS SWEETLY OVER HER SHOULDER, I GUESS ITS TO HANG YOUR PANTS ON.

(Its nice to see a Blond winning once in a while.)

N2XBW · 11-18-2009, 03:35 AM

The missionary was brought before the tribal chief to explain why one of the native girls had borne a white baby.

The preacher began by drawing a comparison with the tribe's sheep.

"Have you noticed that every so often a white ewe will produce a black lamb?"

"Ungh!" grunted the chief, "you no more talk about black sheeps, me forgets about white baby."

chapparel · 11-18-2009, 10:47 PM

Minnie's Mate · 11-19-2009, 11:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by N2XBW

The invisible man married an invisible woman.
The kids were nothing to look at either.

Sooooo, if the invisible man married a regular woman, would the children be opaque?

N2XBW · 11-20-2009, 08:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Minnie's Mate

Sooooo, if the invisible man married a regular woman, would the children be opaque?

Some thoughts on your question:

Not opaque, just a little translucent.

Maybe they'd be semi-good-lookers.

Then again, if he's invisible, he wouldn't HAVE to marry her!

chapparel · 11-20-2009, 08:14 PM

don't have to be married to have an translucent child....

N2XBW · 11-21-2009, 07:16 AM

The little Esso-Bee could be more like TRANS-LUCIFER!

chapparel · 11-22-2009, 11:11 AM

N2XBW · 11-22-2009, 04:36 PM

And [X] to you, too!

Your pictures never come through for me, Chapparel.

I hope you are able to see mine when I post them.

chapparel · 11-22-2009, 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by N2XBW

And [X] to you, too!

Your pictures never come through for me, Chapparel.

I hope you are able to see mine when I post them.

__________________________________________________ _______________
Hummmmmmmmmm!!! Don't know why that is, I will take notice if yours comes through for me.....
________________________________________

"When I were a lad, Momma would send me down to t'corner store wi' a

dollar, and I'd come back wi' five pounds o' potatoes, two loaves o'

bread, three pints o' milk, a pound o' cheese, a packet o' tea, an' 'alf

a dozen eggs. Yer can't do that now.

Too many damm security cameras."

N2XBW · 11-23-2009, 07:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chapparel

__________________________________________________ _______________
Hummmmmmmmmm!!! Don't know why that is, I will take notice if yours comes through for me.....
________________________________________

"When I were a lad, Momma would send me down to t'corner store wi' a

dollar, and I'd come back wi' five pounds o' potatoes, two loaves o'

bread, three pints o' milk, a pound o' cheese, a packet o' tea, an' 'alf

a dozen eggs. Yer can't do that now.

Too many damm security cameras."

I don't care who y'are, that-there's FUNNY!

Chuck · 11-23-2009, 08:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by N2XBW

And [X] to you, too!

Your pictures never come through for me, Chapparel.

I hope you are able to see mine when I post them.

They don't come through, for "anybody". From what I can see, its because he's trying to link to a picture that isn't in a location where everyone can see it; he's linking to a picture that is located in his mailbox. Only he can "see" whats in his mailbox.
In order to post an image from your yahoo mailbox, you first have to get that image out of the mail message...then put it some place where we can all see it. Save the image to your desktop, then attach the saved image to a forum post ("manage attachments" button, beneath the post composition window).
or, put it in on another web site that is publicly accessible...like a picassa photo gallery...personal web page, etc.