Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
 
Old 02-14-2008, 11:49 PM   #267
4 Rivet Member
 
greywolf's Avatar
 
1968 24' Tradewind
Crestview , Florida
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 319
Quote:
Originally Posted by safari57
I urgently needed a few days off work, But, I knew the Boss would not
allow me to take leave.
I thought that maybe if I acted "Crazy"
Then he would tell me to take a few days off.
So, I hung upside-down on the ceiling & Made funny noises....
I like the advice given by Jeff Foxworthy as to how to properly call in sick. Rather than some lame, pansie sounding stuff like "I think I may have a sore throat and cough", he recommends calling saying that even though you have "EXPLOSIVE DIARIA" you're still willing to come into work! The boss will say "oh hell no"! and that way it's the boss telling you not to come in and you look like a faithful employee!

I used the "he-man" smiley because it looks like he's taking a power dump!
__________________

__________________
Courtesy parking-- water, elect. and wi-fi.
To those who are about to Stream-I salute you!
greywolf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2008, 05:42 AM   #268
Rivet Master
 
N2XBW's Avatar
 
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida, , USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 10,256
Little Doris came skipping into her grandpa's hospital room. The first thing out of her mouth was, "Grandpa, can you make a noise llike a frog?"

The old man was amused by the sweet child's request, and weakly went, "Roooooak----Roooooooak!"

"Oh goody", says Doris. "Grandma told us just as soon as you croaked we'd all go to Disneyworld!"
__________________

__________________
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
N2XBW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2008, 02:47 PM   #269
CLOUDSPLITTER "Tahawas"
 
ROBERT CROSS's Avatar

 
2003 25' Classic
Zanadude Nebula , WNY
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 11,153
Images: 1
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?

WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
__________________
PFC.....

“After all these years the reason I continue to love Thanksgiving.....I still sit at the kids table.”
RLC

Sandra wanted to go to Cleveland on vacation,
but I’m the Husband, so we went to Cleveland.
RLC
ROBERT CROSS is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2008, 04:21 PM   #270
Rivet Master
 
N2XBW's Avatar
 
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida, , USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 10,256
Smile Dog Food Diet

I have a Labrador retriever & was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart, waiting in the check-out line. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital
last time. But, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry, as the food is nutritionally complete. So, I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by Now enthralled with my story, especially a tall heavy man behind her.

Horrified, she asked how I'd ended up in the hospital; if I'd been poisoned.

I told her no, I'd been sitting in the street licking my xxxx and a car hit me.
The tall guy nearly had to stagger out of the store, oxygen-depleted from laughter.

I paid for the food and left a lot of smiles behind me
__________________
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
N2XBW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-16-2008, 10:31 PM   #271
Rivet Master
 
safari57's Avatar
 
1951 21' Flying Cloud
1960 24' Tradewind
West Coast , BC
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 3,790
Images: 10
Send a message via MSN to safari57
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man.

He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

Oh my, I am so sorry, "the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.

"Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says.

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his and to his surprise and delight she actually listens.

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast.

They had a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed! ! Everything had been SO incredible! !! !

"You know, "he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet? "

"No," she replies. . . . . . "


"You just happened to catch my eye."
__________________
Barry & Donna
Life is short - so is the door on a '51 Flying Cloud (ouch)
safari57 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-18-2008, 01:44 PM   #272
Rivet Master
 
N2XBW's Avatar
 
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida, , USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 10,256
TALKING DOG

A guy is driving around in the back country and he sees a sign in front of a run-down farm house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He pulls into the yard and finds the owner sitting on the front porch sippin’ a beer. Wordlessly, the owner directs him to the backyard.

The fellow goes around back and sees a well-groomed Labrador retriever sitting there in the shade of a tree.

"So, do you talk?" he asks.

"Quite," the Lab replies.

"Wow!
What's your story?"

The Lab cocks his head and answers in a crisp British accent, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was just a pup. I saw a James Bond movie and dreamed of working for the government. I found my way to Washington, DC and told the CIA about my gift. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders. Certainly, no one ever imagined a dog would be eavesdropping. I was among their most valuable assets for eight years running."


"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger, so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a homeland security job at the airport to do some undercover work wandering near suspicious charactersand listening in."

"I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.
I got married, had a family, and now I'm retired."

The guy is truly amazed.
He returns to the front porch and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? He asks, dumbfounded. “This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"I’m selling him because he's a damn four-legged, tail-waggin’ liar. He ain’t never done nothin but watch them spy shows on TV all day."
__________________
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
N2XBW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2008, 02:07 AM   #273
4 Rivet Member
 
greywolf's Avatar
 
1968 24' Tradewind
Crestview , Florida
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 319
A man walks into a pet store wanting to buy a parrot. The owner explains to the man that this bird was owned by a nun who taught the parrot to say the 23 Psalm if you pull the string tied to it's right foot and will recite the Lord's prayer if you pull a string tied to the bird's left foot. "Well I ain't never heard of that", says the man, "this parrot must have quite a vocabulary!" Then the man asks "What would happen if I was to pull both strings at the same time?" To which the parrot yells out, "I'd fall down on my damned a$$, you dumb....!"
__________________
Courtesy parking-- water, elect. and wi-fi.
To those who are about to Stream-I salute you!
greywolf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2008, 02:27 PM   #274
Rivet Master
 
N2XBW's Avatar
 
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida, , USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 10,256
Smile The Pledge of the Three Brothers

The French-Canadian Louis LeVac walks into a pub in South Boston and orders three draft beers.

The barkeep complies with his request, but asks, "If you're going to drink all three, why not order one at a time? They'll be fresher that way."

LeVac replies, "Waal, you see dis t'ing she be lak' dis. One my brodder, he's 'ome on Quebec. My odder brodder, he's work de wood' up on de Yukon. So we mak' de pledge. One night de week we each sit down lak' dis 'ere and 'ave t'ree beer lak' we togedder."

LeVac then begins toasting in French, sipping one beer, the next, then the next; raising the glasses high, until each is empty.

Impressed by the pledge of the three brothers, the barkeep and patrons take an immidiate liking to the affable LeVac.

This ritual goes on weekly at the same pub and soon LeVac is a welcomed regular. Then, one night he comes in and orders only two drafts.

The place goes silent. The barkeep quietly asks, "Which of your brothers passed on, Louis? We're all so sorry to hear."

LeVac roars in laughter and replies, " Haw-haw, I t'ink you mak' de gran' mistake! Dem brodders mine, de're bot' OK. It's me! I join de Church Baptis' an' now I not s'pos' to drink no more!"
__________________
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
N2XBW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2008, 03:19 PM   #275
CLOUDSPLITTER "Tahawas"
 
ROBERT CROSS's Avatar

 
2003 25' Classic
Zanadude Nebula , WNY
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 11,153
Images: 1
Smile No Sex Since 1955









A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.




"Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?"




"Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature."




The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action."




"Yes, ma'am, a lot of action."




The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself."




The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?"









" 1955, ma'am."




"Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times.

Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955."




The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, "I hope not; it's only 2130 now."




(Gotta love the military )
__________________
PFC.....

“After all these years the reason I continue to love Thanksgiving.....I still sit at the kids table.”
RLC

Sandra wanted to go to Cleveland on vacation,
but I’m the Husband, so we went to Cleveland.
RLC
ROBERT CROSS is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2008, 03:06 PM   #276
Rivet Master
 
N2XBW's Avatar
 
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida, , USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 10,256
Out on CNN's site this morning I saw a banner ad which read,

"Our Best Rates – Guaranteed - The Hilton Family

So… I emailed 'em and asked,

"How much for Paris for a couple of hours?"

__________________
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
N2XBW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2008, 09:55 PM   #277
Rivet Master
 
Phil and/or Sue's Avatar
 
1997 34' Limited
Young Harris , Georgia
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 857
Images: 40
I had to explain to my friend that they were not talking about

"the young-uns in China"

when they mentioned euthanasia.
__________________
Phil and/or Sue w/ Cheryl & Penny and Roger
(Buffett RIP 9/15/08, Gus RIP 12/22/2015)
1997 34' Excella
'09 Dodge Cummins Ram 3500 Crew 4x4 auto
AIR 1753
Phil and/or Sue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-23-2008, 02:35 PM   #278
Rivet Master
Commercial Member
 
Moonstruck's Avatar
 
1986 31' Sovereign
1975 25' Tradewind
1967 17' Caravel
Sherfield English , Hampshire
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 699
Send a message via MSN to Moonstruck Send a message via Yahoo to Moonstruck
Click image for larger version

Name:	Leather.jpg
Views:	58
Size:	35.7 KB
ID:	54919
__________________
Silvertwinkie
Hampshire, UK
Moonstruck is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-24-2008, 05:02 PM   #279
Rivet Master
 
N2XBW's Avatar
 
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida, , USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 10,256
Just Plain Fred

A cop stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit.

He asks the man his name. "Fred," he replies. "Fred what?" the officer asks.

"Just Fred," the man responds.

The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name.

The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it.

The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. "Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?"

The man replies, "It's a long story, so stay with me."

"I was born Fred Dingaling. I know -- a funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself, studied hard, and got good grades. When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD.

"After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS.

"Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me STD. So now I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS, STD.

Well, the ADA found out about the STD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, STD.

Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the STD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling, STD.

Then the STD took away my Dingaling, so now I am Just Plain Fred."
__________________
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
N2XBW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-26-2008, 05:13 PM   #280
Rivet Master
 
Moncton , New Brunswick Canada
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,888
Moonstruck,

Hate to admit it, very funny! (true insight into the male interpretation)
__________________

__________________
love vintage is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Tracing a Wally Byam Club Member Number Simplyspent Airstream History 40 03-01-2017 10:45 AM
orange barrel club ALANSD Airstream Motorhome Forums 13 10-08-2009 11:06 AM
Motorhome club name ViewRVs Airstream Motorhome Forums 9 06-09-2009 08:18 PM
New trailer, old club rally Pahaska Other Rallies & Events 7 07-24-2002 02:26 PM


Virginia Campgrounds

Reviews provided by




Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:18 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

Airstream is a registered trademark of Airstream Inc. All rights reserved. Airstream trademark used under license to Social Knowledge LLC.