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Old 12-14-2007, 10:47 PM   #225
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Thumbs down not again!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Minnie's Mate
"

P.S. I'm a Republican if you haven't figured it out!
I'm a New Yorkie, a democrat, but I know better too....
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“After all these years the reason I continue to love Thanksgiving.....I still sit at the kids table.”
RLC

Sandra wanted to go to Cleveland on vacation,
but I’m the Husband, so we went to Cleveland.
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Old 12-15-2007, 06:13 PM   #226
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To my Forums friends who enjoy a glass of wine.. and those who don't.
As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) - bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.





However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.





Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health





Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of , uh, let's just say poop.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service





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Old 12-16-2007, 08:00 AM   #227
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Thumbs up Wallmart Greeter



A new retiree greeter at Wallmart just couldn't seem to get to work on time.
every day he was 5,10,15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, real
sharp,so the boss was in a quandary about how to deal with it.
Finally one day he called him into his office for a talk. "Charlie I have to tell
you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang-up job, but your being late so
often is quite bothersome."
"Yes I know boss, and I'm working on it."
"Well good, you are a team player. Thats what I like to hear. It's odd though
your coming in late every day. I know your retired."
"What did they say when you came in late there?"
"They said, "Good Morning, General."

Semper-fi
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“After all these years the reason I continue to love Thanksgiving.....I still sit at the kids table.”
RLC

Sandra wanted to go to Cleveland on vacation,
but I’m the Husband, so we went to Cleveland.
RLC
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Old 12-18-2007, 09:53 PM   #228
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim & Susan
An Irishman walks past a pub…

Now that's funny, impossible but funny.
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Old 12-19-2007, 05:53 AM   #229
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mrmossyone
Now that's funny, impossible but funny.
Remember, God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from taking over the world.
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Old 12-19-2007, 08:25 AM   #230
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Quote:
Originally Posted by safari57
As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) - bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service





Perhaps this is why we drink "iced tea" in the south so much. It has been boiled such that bacteria is killed in the boiling process and contains a lot of sugar which raises its Ph so that the bacteria that is in the water and ice that is added is killed by the high Ph contributed by the sugar.

I was raised in South Georgia, I drink my tea without any sweetener, though...I don't like greens either, go figure. Anyway, a lot of people think southerners are full of, you know, but don't underestimate us, we are just being on the sly like a fox.

Tom's tip of the day: If you are offered lemon for your tea in a restaurant that serves their tea "unsweet", ask for the lemon on the side, no amount of sugar will dissolve in tea once the lemon has been added.
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Old 12-19-2007, 10:30 AM   #231
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Minnie's Mate
Perhaps this is why we drink "iced tea" in the south so much. It has been boiled such that bacteria is killed in the boiling process and contains a lot of sugar which raises its Ph so that the bacteria that is in the water and ice that is added is killed by the high Ph contributed by the sugar.

I was raised in South Georgia, I drink my tea without any sweetener, though...I don't like greens either, go figure. Anyway, a lot of people think southerners are full of, you know, but don't underestimate us, we are just being on the sly like a fox.

Tom's tip of the day: If you are offered lemon for your tea in a restaurant that serves their tea "unsweet", ask for the lemon on the side, no amount of sugar will dissolve in tea once the lemon has been added.
Your not supposed to let the secret out, remember that is one of our weapons for keeping the Yanks at bay. I personally try to deploy the dumb, ignorant hick weapon whenever the imports are around. Hec I's the firstist one in my clan to gradiiate from grade skool, I's can even count ta 21, alls ya gottado is git crativ after ya used all yor toes and fingers.
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Old 12-19-2007, 12:23 PM   #232
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mrmossyone
Your not supposed to let the secret out, remember that is one of our weapons for keeping the Yanks at bay. I personally try to deploy the dumb, ignorant hick weapon whenever the imports are around. Hec I's the firstist one in my clan to gradiiate from grade skool, I's can even count ta 21, alls ya gottado is git crativ after ya used all yor toes and fingers.
Oh, I keeps forgetten. We gots so many transplants 'round her in 'tlanta that I forgets an' lets ma guard down.
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Old 12-19-2007, 07:05 PM   #233
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Wink Life Is......

If life is a waste of time,

and time is a waste of life,

then lets all get wasted together,

and have the time of our lives!!!
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PFC.....

“After all these years the reason I continue to love Thanksgiving.....I still sit at the kids table.”
RLC

Sandra wanted to go to Cleveland on vacation,
but I’m the Husband, so we went to Cleveland.
RLC
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Old 12-19-2007, 07:12 PM   #234
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Thumbs up Hrc

Quote:
Originally Posted by Minnie's Mate
One day, the seven dwarfs left to go work in the mine. Snow White stayed home to prepare their lunch.
When she arrived at the mine with the lunch, she saw that there had been a terrible cave-in.
Fearing the worst Snow White began calling out, hoping that some of the dwarfs had survived.
"Hello, hello," she called out. "Can anyone hear me? Hello." There was no answer.
Losing hope, Snow White, called again, "Hello, Is anyone down there?"
Just as she was about to give up, there came a faint voice from deep in the mine.
The voice said, "Vote for Hillary. Vote for Hillary."
Snow White, somewhat relieved, screamed out, "Oh, thank goodness, at least Dopey is still alive."

P.S. I'm a Republican if you haven't figured it out!





>
> The Pope and Hillary Rodham Clinton (HRC) are on the same stage in front
> of a huge crowd.
>
> Her Majesty and His Holiness, however, have seen it all before, so to
> make it a little more interesting, the senator says to the Pope, "Did
> you know that with just one little wave of my hand I can make every
> Democrat in the crowd go wild"?
>
> He doubts it, so she shows him.
>
> Sure enough, the wave elicits rapture and cheering from every democrat
> in the crowd. Gradually, the cheering subsides.
>
> The Pope, not wanting to be out done by such a level of arrogance,
> considers what he could do.
>
> "That was impressive, but did you know that with just one little wave of
> MY hand I can make EVERY person in the crowd go crazy with joy? This joy
> will not be a momentary display like that of your subjects, but will go
> deep into their hearts, and they will forever speak of this day and
> rejoice?"
>
> The senator seriously doubts this, and says so. "One little wave of
> your hand and all people will rejoice forever? Show me."
>
> So the Pope slapped her.
>
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PFC.....

“After all these years the reason I continue to love Thanksgiving.....I still sit at the kids table.”
RLC

Sandra wanted to go to Cleveland on vacation,
but I’m the Husband, so we went to Cleveland.
RLC
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Old 12-20-2007, 01:11 AM   #235
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I know he just put some joy in my heart.
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Old 12-22-2007, 08:41 AM   #236
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Women: As explained by engineers


WOMEN: AS EXPLAINED BY ENGINEERS
Part I

b
Part II



Part III



Part IV




Part V


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Old 12-23-2007, 08:44 AM   #237
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redeagle313

WOMEN: AS EXPLAINED BY ENGINEERS
Part I

b
Part II



Part III



Part IV




Part V


Sorry, none of the links work. It looks as though they were to attachments sent to you in your email. I was looking forward to this too...
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Old 12-23-2007, 04:57 PM   #238
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Women: As explained by engineers





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