Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight. When Grandpa found
a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one
of the pills.
The son said, "I don't think you should take one Dad; they're very strong
and very expensive."
"How much?" asked Grandpa.
"$10.00 a pill," Answered the son.
"I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we
leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow."
Later the next morning, the son found $110.00 under the pillow. He called
Grandpa and said, "I told you each pill was $10.00, not $110.00.
I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma.
__________________ Phil and/or Sue (with Gus, Penny and Roger)
(Buffett RIP 9/15/08) 1983 31' Sovereign 1973 31' Sovereign (project) '01 Dodge Ram 2500 Quad LWB 2x4 6sp Cummins Turbo Diesel
AIR 1753
One turns to the other and in a gin soaked voice says, "I hate all lawyers, they're all a**holes."
Fellow at the end of the bar perks up and says, "hey, I resent that remark!"
Other fellow turns to him and asks, "why? are you a lawyer?"
He answers, "No, I'm an A**HOLE!"
__________________
Glen Coombe AIR #8416
1984 28' Funeral Coach
Golf Professional Sales Rolling Showroom
"I'm not an expert. But I did sleep in an Airstream last night."
An affluent man is sitting at home one Saturday with his wife, when there is a knock on the door. There at the door is a blonde man, and he says, "I'm broke, and I really need $50. Do you have any work I can do to raise the money?"
The homeowner thinks a moment, and replies, "I think I can help you out. Our back porch needs to be repainted. I'll give you $50 if you will do that for us." The blonde thanks the homeowner, and in short order is given two gallons of white paint, rollers, brushes, pans, and a ladder, and heads for the back of the house.
About two hours later, the blonde is back out front, saying he is done painting the porch. This seems kind of fast, since it is a large porch, and upon questioning, the blonde affirms, "yes, I painted it, even two coats." As the homeowner heads toward the back of the house to check it out, the blonde calls after him, "Oh, by the way, it's not a porch, it's a Ferarri!"
A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards.
The little boy asked why he wore his collar that way.
The man, who was a priest, said, "I am a Father."
The little boy replied, "My daddy doesn't wear his collar like that."
The priest looked up from his book, and answered, "I am the Father of many."
The boy said, "My dad has 4 boys, 4 girls. And he doesn't wear his collar That way." The priest, getting impatient, said, "I am the Father of hundreds," and went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly thinking for awhile, then leaned over, and said,
" Maybe you should wear your pants backwards, instead of your collar. "
__________________ J. Rick Cipot Sandi Gould NEUNew England Unit Airstream Life Magazine WBCCI #3411 AIR #17099 2009 Silverado 2500HD 2004 22' Safari 1960 24' Tradewind
A man goes into a bar needing $300 for rent...the bartneder tells him if he can throw the drunk at the end of the bar out he will give him $100...If he can pull the absessed tooth of the mean and irritated gorilla out back he will give him another $100...and if he can please his 100 year old grandmother upstairs just one more time before she passes, another $100...
So the man tosses back a few and gets really drunk...beats the tar out of the drunk and throw's him out of the bar...goes out back with the gorilla and makes all kind of noise...screamin and yelling...fur flying...then comes back in and ask "Now where is the old lady that needs her tooth pulled"!!!
Here's one more. I've got a buddy I sent this too who said he's been feeling this very thought himself lately - he definitely needs to find himself an Airstream.....
A Texas cowboy stopped at a restaurant in Mexico.
While sipping his tequila, he noticed a scrumptious-looking platter
being served at the next table.
Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful.
He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"
The waiter replied, "Ah, Senor, you have excellent taste! Those are
bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!"
The cowboy said, "What the heck, I'm on vacation! Bring me an order!"
The waiter replied, "I am so very sorry senor. There is only one
serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If
you come early tomorrow
and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy!"
The next morning, the cowboy placed his order, and was served the one
and only special delicacy of the day.
After a few bites he called to the waiter and said, "These are
delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve
yesterday!"
The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si senor ... sometimes
the bull wins!"
Wife sent me this one. As a Government employee I see the humor in it.
Four men were bragging about their smart cats.
The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the
third man was a Chemist and the fourth man was a Government Employee.
To show off, the Engineer called his cat, "T-square, do your stuff."
T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and
promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that
was pretty smart.
But the Accountant said his cat could do better.
He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff."
Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies.
He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies. Everyone agreed that
was good.
But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and
said "Measure, do your stuff."
Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a
10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces into the
glass without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was pretty good.
Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, "What
can your cat do?"
The Government Employee called his cat and said....."Coffee Break, do
your stuff."
Coffee Break jumped to his feet........... Ate the
cookies............... Drank the milk..............
Sh*t on the paper.................... Screwed the other three
cats..................... Claimed he injured his back while doing
so.................. Filed a grievance report for unsafe working
conditions......... Put in for Workers Compensation...............and
went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.............!!!!!!!!!!
__________________ There are two types of people in this world. Those that have an Airstream and those that wish they did. I feel sorry for the have-nots. HEE HEE
A senior citizen in FL bought a new Corvette convertible and was out for his 1st drive.
Going down the service road he’s thinking how great the Corvette handles, as he gets on the Interstate on ramp he gets up to 65 mph and once on the Interstate he’s thinking wow this thing really flies and speeds up to 80 mph. Looking in the rear view mirror he sees a Highway patrol coming after him and decides “I can out run him” and floors it. All of a sudden he realizes what he is doing and pulls over to let the patrol man catch up. The officer comes up and says “Its 5:00 PM on a Friday and I should be clocking out for the weekend so if you have a story I have never heard before on why you were speeding I’ll let you go.
The old man says “Officer 10 years ago my wife ran off with a highway patrolman and when I saw you in the rearview mirror I thought it was you and you were trying to give her back”.
The patrolman let the old man go with no ticket.
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