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Old 11-21-2009, 01:19 AM   #1
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shiny orb

Tiny orb,shiny orb,attached to my umbilical cord. A silver sphere in which I travel 'bout and in the woods fart out sauerkraut.I hold it in as long as I can,but to no avail the crowd so near just ran and ran.I wish to abstain and eat no more.My poor ass is really sore. A tender moment from Richie Rich.I'm o.k. now.Carry on.
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Old 11-21-2009, 08:11 AM   #2
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....I'm o.k. now.Carry on.
Quite so. Glad you're feeling better after all that. Carrying on.

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Old 11-21-2009, 11:55 AM   #3
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Although socially unacceptable,it is much healthier to release one's internal pressures.This may add to my carbon footprint,but alas, I feel guilty not so much.
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Old 11-21-2009, 03:31 PM   #4
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When out with strangers, or merry friend,
The complications may begin.

A little urge, a troubled grin,
Then you're dancing cheek to cheek again.

Comes the repercussions quick of pace,
Of meals late et in too much haste.

The dinner swallowed nearly whole,
Rumbles about trying to find a hole.

While twisting, nervous, legs you drape,
The fumes build courage for escape.

The pressure built, now climax bodes,
And everyone turns as you explode.

Nervous laughter, or loud guffaws,
Your face is red down past your jaw.

And as the noxious storm clouds linger,
Some joker asks, “Who pulled his finger?"

The crisis past, you seek a privy,
As you feel a dampness in your skivvies.

A false alarm, you return relieved,
As memories linger on the breeze.

Then just as things have settled down,
Your belly starts another round...

On this foul subject, there's little doubt;
When the pressure's on, 'tis better out.

~ IMBAC
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Old 11-21-2009, 04:39 PM   #5
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Better out and bear the shame,
than held in and bear the pain
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Old 11-25-2009, 12:47 AM   #6
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An accurate ASSessment of my life,one can cut the stench with a knife. Bean-O ,one would think would be the answer (considering all their raves and rants),but a fire rage is on in my pants. Surgery is the only answer. Be done with it. Cut away this ass cancer. Now I am dead,at rest some six feet under in a casket in which I've farted and blown asunder. So, if in the woods the smell of methane gas lingers about,it is I passing a dead guy's sauerkraut. A tender moment from Richie Rich. Carry on.
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Old 11-25-2009, 07:25 AM   #7
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This thread, I fear,
Has now arrived,
Beyond the point,
Where it ought survive.
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Old 11-25-2009, 09:01 AM   #8
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Sniff through the woods, the die is cast. Survival is too late,for on I've passed. Find the savor and the blast,know from the hereafter you've just been gassed. Carry on.
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Old 12-24-2009, 06:07 PM   #9
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On through the night, the orb is burning bright.
Flashing across the sky like a satellite on high.
Not a thing of dread, this orb glowing red.
Never should you fear, the nose of a reindeer.

MERRY CHRISTMAS ONE AND ALL!
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Old 12-25-2009, 11:42 PM   #10
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Santa's checked his list,but he's pissed. Gagging in his cart,the victim of Rudolph's fart. Look up in the night sky for Christmas twinkle, only to wipe thy face of Santa's tinkle.Ho Ho Ho and a flush of the bowl, Richie Rich gets a Christmas lump of coal.Carry on, Season's Greetings.
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