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09-13-2012, 06:35 PM
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#1
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Rivet Master
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida,
, USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,197
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Really small town headlines
How "small town" is your hometown?
Let's see how many creative "Really Small Town": Newspaper Headlines we can invent. You are free to add as much of the "actual story" as you care to create. Please feel free to be as goofy as possible.
I'll start:
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GRANDFATHER FALLS ASLEEP IN RECLINER
"I asked him if he'd fed the dog yet," reports Grandma Doris Williams, "And there was Henry, sound asleep and snoring away in that Lazyboy chair of his."
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LEGION DINNER TO OFFER 2 DESSERT CHOICES THIS MONTH
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__________________
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
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09-13-2012, 08:12 PM
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#2
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Rivet Master
1968 28' Ambassador
Cedaredge
, Colorado
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,542
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Signal light stops working
The one light in town malfunctioned today causing confusion and backups of 4-6 cars.
__________________
Jason
May you have at least one sunny day, and a soft chair to sit in..
2008 5.7 L V8 Sequoia
AIR # 31243
WBCCI # 6987
FOUR CORNERS UNIT
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09-14-2012, 05:13 AM
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#3
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Figment of My Imagination
2012 Interstate Coach
From All Over
, More Than Anywhere Else
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 10,868
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The really small towns don't have newspapers. They don't need them, because everybody already knows everyone else's business.
By the way, according to Time Magazine, America's smallest town is Buford, Wyoming. Population: 1. Their real headline:
Vietnamese Businessman Buys America’s Smallest Town
Buford, Wyoming: America’s Smallest Town Bought by Vietnam Businessman | NewsFeed | TIME.com
__________________
I thought getting old would take longer!
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09-14-2012, 12:52 PM
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#4
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Rivet Master
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida,
, USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,197
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LOCAL WOMAN THRILLED TO WIN $2 ON SCRATCH-OFF CARD.
-After consulting with her husband, winner decides to take two more cards as payment.
__________________
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
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09-17-2012, 02:01 PM
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#5
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Rivet Master
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida,
, USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,197
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Local man's new airforums game deemed no fun at all.
__________________
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
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09-17-2012, 02:51 PM
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#6
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Old School Young Gun
Currently Looking...
Olney
, Illinois
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 384
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Chicken Crosses Road
After much debate, the chicken finally crosses the road. Reason? Unknown
Ok... not that funny lol
__________________
No Airstream Yet...
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09-17-2012, 03:29 PM
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#7
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Rivet Master
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida,
, USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,197
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Reason Found For Chicken's Recent Highway Crossing Venture!
"It was way too far to go around." states Chicken
__________________
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
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09-17-2012, 03:51 PM
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#8
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Old School Young Gun
Currently Looking...
Olney
, Illinois
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 384
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^^^ Much better! LOL!
__________________
No Airstream Yet...
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09-18-2012, 10:44 AM
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#9
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Rivet Master
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida,
, USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,197
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Library Closed this Week: All 3 Books in Circulation!
__________________
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
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09-20-2012, 05:38 AM
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#10
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Figment of My Imagination
2012 Interstate Coach
From All Over
, More Than Anywhere Else
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 10,868
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Local Election Results
Here are the results of Tuesday's election:
For mayor, Bubba McCoy was running unopposed. He won with 75% of the vote. When asked why the vote wasn't unanimous, mayor-elect Bubba said, "The missus just had to be contrary, I guess."
__________________
I thought getting old would take longer!
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09-24-2012, 12:10 PM
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#11
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Rivet Master
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida,
, USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,197
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MAN'S SECRET BOTTLE MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPEARS!
Willard "Junior" Whitmarsh was alarmed today to find his "secret" bottle of Old Mr. Boston blackberry brandy usually stashed in a box of magazines in the cellar was missing. Although he thinks his wife might be somehow involved in this disappearance, he has yet to make an official accusation. Junior notes that the magazines are also missing. "I fig'r she'll say somthin' 'bout it at supper t'night." conjectured Whitmarsh.
__________________
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
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10-12-2012, 12:45 PM
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#12
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Rivet Master
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida,
, USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,197
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MISSING CHURCH TREASURER LOCATED!
Vernon "Sterno" Hemmings, former treasurer of The Wilson Hollow Community Church who last week absconded with the church's treasury, was located by authorities in Preston City yesterday. The entire treasury of nearly $3500 was not recovered. When asked about the money, Mr. Hemmings related, "I spent most of it on wine, women and song, then I wasted the rest!"
__________________
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
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10-12-2012, 06:19 PM
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#13
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Rivet Master
1971 27' Overlander
Central
, Ohio
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,365
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10-13-2012, 09:06 PM
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#14
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Rivet Master
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida,
, USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,197
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Golf Club Expands to Three Holes!
__________________
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Move along.
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10-22-2012, 01:22 AM
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#15
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2 Rivet Member
1971 29' Ambassador
guyton
, Georgia
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 91
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my home town the nam is on both sides of the sigh
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10-22-2012, 05:10 AM
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#16
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Rivet Master
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida,
, USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,197
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Swansons Have an Airstream!
-Open House This Sunday.
__________________
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
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12-24-2012, 10:18 AM
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#17
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Rivet Master
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida,
, USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,197
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>>> Our town motto <<<
WELCOME TO NORFOLK, NY
"A Nice Place To Be From."
__________________
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You can go about your business.
Move along.
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12-24-2012, 10:54 AM
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#18
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Contributing Member
2018 Interstate Grand Tour Ext
Austin (Hays County)
, Texas
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,164
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Orks
Dr. Geisel was my high school principal, 1940-1950. He seemed sane at the time, but what the **** are Church Orks?
__________________
John W. Irwin
2018 Interstate GT, "Sabre-Dog V"
WBCCI #9632
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12-24-2012, 02:58 PM
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#19
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Rivet Master
1966 22' Safari
1954 22' Flying Cloud
Saline
, Michigan
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 854
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ElCamino Man
Chicken Crosses Road
After much debate, the chicken finally crosses the road. Reason? Unknown
Ok... not that funny lol
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Chicken dies on return trip from the far side. Armadillos still laughing..
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12-25-2012, 10:45 AM
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#20
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Rivet Master
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida,
, USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,197
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FOUL HIGHWAY TRAGEDY STRIKES AGAIN
Local farmer Amos Zoot reports tragedy once again on the farm today as several hens crossed the road in procession to their recently deceased sister's funeral. The hens were struck and killed by a pickup driven by neighbor Gaylord Schrartz, who offered to pay for the deceased birds. Said Zoot, "If them hens don't know enough to cross the road safely, they ought to stay out of the road."
__________________
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You can go about your business.
Move along.
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