Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
 
Old 04-08-2009, 09:34 AM   #85
Rivet Master
 
N2XBW's Avatar
 
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida, , USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 10,256
A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted an
attractive man standing alone. She approached him.
'My name is Carmen,' she told him. 'That's a beautiful
name,' he replied,' Is it a family name?
'No,' she replied. 'I gave it to myself. It reflects the two
things I like most -- Cars and Men.'
'And what's your name?' she asked.
He said, 'Beerbitch VanNascarburger'.
__________________

__________________
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
N2XBW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-28-2009, 04:35 PM   #86
Rivet Master
 
N2XBW's Avatar
 
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida, , USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 10,256
Install an airstream security system on a budget

INSTALL AN AIRSTREAM SECURITY SYSTEM ON A BUDGET:

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 well-used work boots.

2. Place them besides the steps under your awning, along with several empty beer cans, a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines.

3. Put a couple dented up giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Tape a note on your door that reads: 'Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went to the gun shop for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls. They attacked the park owner this morning and messed him up real bad.
I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.

P S - I locked all four of 'em in the Airstream, so you better wait outside.'

YOUR INSTALLATION IS NOW COMPLETE.

(c) Redneck Security Company
__________________

__________________
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
N2XBW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-13-2009, 10:04 AM   #87
Rivet Master
 
N2XBW's Avatar
 
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida, , USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 10,256
Two guys are shooting the breeze under the Airstream's canopy.


One says: "Did you know that Moose have sex 10 to 15 times a night?"

"Aw hell, ain't that always the way?" says his friend, "And here I just joined the damn Elks!"
__________________
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
N2XBW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-13-2009, 10:15 PM   #88
Razorback
 
razorback's Avatar
 
2005 30' Classic
Springdale , Arkansas
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 122
Images: 19
The patient was lying in bed, still groggy from the effects of the recent operation. His doctor came in, looking very glum.

"I can't be sure what's wrong with you," the doctor said. "I think it's the drinking."

"Okay," the patient said. "Can we get an opinion from a doctor who's sober?"


I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbor said "Are you going to help?" I said "No, six should be enough."
__________________
Razorback

Sid and Becky
2005 Classic 30 "Twinkie II"
Hensley Arrow
2008 Bighorn 4X4 Dodge 2500 Cummins
WBCCI Member At Large #2786

Life is not a dress rehearsal, live your dreams!
razorback is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-14-2009, 10:31 AM   #89
Rivet Master
 
N2XBW's Avatar
 
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida, , USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 10,256
The assistant rushed into the Pope's office.

"Holy Father, I have good news and bad news!" he stated breathlessly.

"What is the good news my son?" inquired the pontiff.

"I have Jesus Christ on the line and he wants to speak to you!" replied the assistant.

"If Our Lord and Savior is on the line what could possibly be the bad news?"

"He's calling collect from Salt Lake City!"
__________________
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
N2XBW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-23-2009, 10:45 AM   #90
Rivet Master
 
N2XBW's Avatar
 
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida, , USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 10,256
Well, SOMETIMES it DOES Work!

A farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.

The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house.

The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring.

Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel chain and collar.

2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.

3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.

4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.

5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.

Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pi**ing and moaning..
__________________
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
N2XBW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-14-2009, 04:30 PM   #91
Rivet Master
 
N2XBW's Avatar
 
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida, , USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 10,256
Life explained by a Native American

Life explained by a Native American

On first day, Great Spirit created dog and said:

'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years. '

Dog said: 'Thatís a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten? '

So Great Spirit agreed.

On the second day, Great Spirit created monkey and said:

'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'

Monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? Thatís a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like Dog?'

And Great Spirit agreed.

On the third day, Great Spirit created cow and said:

'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years. '

Cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'

And Great Spirit agreed again.

On the fourth day, Great Spirit created man and said:

'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years. '

But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you maybe give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay? '

' Okay, ' said Great Spirit, 'You asked for it.'

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
__________________
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
N2XBW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-04-2009, 05:12 PM   #92
Rivet Master
 
N2XBW's Avatar
 
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida, , USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 10,256
What's the difference between THE POPE and YOUR BOSS?

With THE POPE, you are only expected to KISS HIS RING.


Sanctus Baby, Sanctus!
__________________
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
N2XBW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-11-2009, 08:06 AM   #93
CLOUDSPLITTER "Tahawas"
 
ROBERT CROSS's Avatar

 
2003 25' Classic
Zanadude Nebula , WNY
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 11,153
Images: 1
Bang
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	!cid_004c01c87b0e$bcdae5c0$6400a8c0@PC125871246427.jpg
Views:	67
Size:	65.9 KB
ID:	85205  
__________________
PFC.....

ďAfter all these years the reason I continue to love Thanksgiving.....I still sit at the kids table.Ē
RLC

Sandra wanted to go to Cleveland on vacation,
but Iím the Husband, so we went to Cleveland.
RLC
ROBERT CROSS is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-2009, 06:23 PM   #94
Rivet Master
 
N2XBW's Avatar
 
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida, , USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 10,256
THIS JUST IN ...

Democrats, realizing the huge success of the President's "Cash For Clunkers" rebate program, have revamped a major portion of their National Health Care Plan.

President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and Sen. Reed are expected to make this major announcement at a joint news conference later this week. I have obtained a advanced copy of the proposal which is named....

CASH FOR CODGERSand it works like this... Couples wishing to access health care funds in order to pay for the delivery of a child will be required to turn in one old person for each child they conceive. The amount the government grants them will be fixed according to a sliding scale. Older and more prescription dependent codgers will garner the highest amounts, while younger healthier codgers will earn them less.

Special "Bonus Money" will be paid for those submitting codgers in targeted groups such as; smokers, beer/ alcohol drinkers, persons 10 pounds over their government prescribed weight, and any member of the Republican Party.

Smaller bonuses will be given for codgers who eat/drink; beef, soda, fried foods, tater chips, lattes ,whole milk, dairy products, bacon, Brussel sprouts, Carvel or Girl Scout Cookies.

All codgers will be immediately rendered totally useless via toxic injection upon submission to the plan. This will insure that they are not secretly resold/reused or that their body parts be harvested to keep other codgers in decent repair.
__________________
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
N2XBW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-18-2009, 10:52 AM   #95
Rivet Master
 
N2XBW's Avatar
 
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida, , USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 10,256
Thumbs up Pray For My Hearing

"Anyone with needs to be prayed over, come forward, to the front at the altar," the Preacher said.


Leroy gets in line, and when it's his turn, the preacher asks: "Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you."

Leroy replies: "Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing."



The preacher puts one finger in Leroy's ear, and he places the other hand on top of Leroy's head and prays and prays and prays, he prays a blue streak for Leroy.


After a few minutes, the Preacher removes his hands, stands back and asks, "Leroy, how is your hearing now?"

Leroy says, "I don't know, Reverend, it ain't til next Wednesday!"
__________________
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
N2XBW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-20-2009, 12:49 AM   #96
4 Rivet Member
 
greywolf's Avatar
 
1968 24' Tradewind
Crestview , Florida
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 319
Bubba is listening to a preacher on the radio when he hears the preacher say, "Now in faith I want you to hold with one hand what ever it is in your body that ails you and with your other hand touch the radio while I pray for you, in faith believing."

Well, with that, Bubba unzips his pants and pulls out his dsyfunctional man tool and holds it in one hand while resting his other hand upon the radio. Just then, his wife walks into the room and tells Bubba, "The man said he is a FAITH HEALER, not a dang gon MIRACLE WORKER!"
__________________
Courtesy parking-- water, elect. and wi-fi.
To those who are about to Stream-I salute you!
greywolf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-20-2009, 02:20 PM   #97
Rivet Master
 
N2XBW's Avatar
 
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida, , USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 10,256
The radio preacher asked, "Are you a drinker? Are you a womanizer? Do you like to look at pornography?"

Jethro pricked up his ears. Maybe this fellow was talkin' to HIM.

The Preacher continued. "Do you sit around all day eating potato chips and Vienna sausages?" Do you swear and cuss at your family and neighbors?"

"Damn!" thought Jethro, "This fellow IS talking to me!"

Once more the preacher questioned, "Do you kick your dog and shoot at road signs? Do you keep a quart of Jack Daniels under the seat of your pickup?"

"Yes, Lord! Yes Lord! He really knows me, he really knows!" shouts Jethro.

"And are you going to send me a check for $100 to continue this radio ministry?" demanded the preacher.

"Wow!" thought Jethro, "For a minute there I thought he really was talking to me!"
__________________
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
N2XBW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-24-2009, 06:54 PM   #98
Rivet Master
 
N2XBW's Avatar
 
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida, , USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 10,256
"Honey, the toad won't start, but I know what the problem is." Kathy said.

Chuck asked her what it was, and she told him there was water in the carburetor.

Chuck thought for a moment, then said, "You know, I don't mean to be offensive, but you don't know the carburetor from the accelerator."

"No, there's definitely water in the carburetor," Kathy insisted. "OK Honey, that's fine, I'll just go take a look. Where is it?"

"In the lake!" she said.

[Thanks to "Duke"]
__________________

__________________
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
N2XBW is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Airstream Centered Jokes..Only Clean Ones Please!! RedSHED Our Community 12 10-10-2013 06:39 AM


Virginia Campgrounds

Reviews provided by




Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:59 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

Airstream is a registered trademark of Airstream Inc. All rights reserved. Airstream trademark used under license to Social Knowledge LLC.