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08-22-2012, 07:03 PM
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#1361
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Classic 30
Sum Wear
, Ohio
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 594
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A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, ' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'
The driver says, 'Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.'
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, 'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?'
The wife smiles demurely and says, 'You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.'
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, 'Damit, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'
The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine.' The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.'
The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??'
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'
I love this part....
'Only when he's been drinking.'
__________________
"Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast" - Oscar Wilde
2500HD DMax............30' Classic
__________________
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08-23-2012, 05:52 PM
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#1362
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Site Team
1974 31' Sovereign
Ottawa
, ON
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 11,219
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Collection of slogans, some good, some... well...
Illiterate? Write today for free help.
Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.
Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
Stock up and save. Limit: one.
Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.
3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.
Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. BlueCross and salary.
Dinner Special-Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00
For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
For sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.
Great Dames for sale.
Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
Vacation Special: have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts. Zap does the job in 24 hours.
Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.
Man, honest. Will take anything.
Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.
Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person. Wanted: Hair cutter. Excellent growth potential.
Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.
Wanted. Widower with school age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.
__________________
“Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.” ...John Wayne...........................
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08-24-2012, 04:08 AM
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#1363
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Rivet Master 
1981 27' Excella II
mays landing
, South Jersey
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,179
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Maybe it's just to early in the AM, but in reading a post the following comment: "I would have taken more pictures, but my phone died." I guess I'm out of touch with the times. Or, I would have called you, but my camera died. Sal.
__________________
Sal & Nora
Let us live so that when we die even the undertaker will be sorry. Mark Twain
AIR 42483
TAC N.J. 17
WBCCI 24740
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08-24-2012, 08:59 AM
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#1364
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Rivet Master 
1973 23' Safari
1977 23' Safari
2018 25' Flying Cloud
Palmer Lake
, Colorado
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 4,092
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Found carved on a wooden plate in a bar along the Snake River...
A marriage license should be like a fishing license--it expires every year and if you go out of state you can buy a 3 day license. If you think about it, girls and fish have a lot in common. They are fun to catch and if you clean and prep them right, most are good to eat. Also, if you decide to mount one you know it's going to cost you plenty! If you bring one home (no matter how well you treat them), they start going bad and fresh ones are always better. Practice catch and release. Larry J.
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08-24-2012, 09:17 AM
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#1365
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Rivet Master
2007 Interstate
Normal
, Illinois
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 18,080
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Sign in an antique shop:
"Unattended children will be captured and sold as slaves"
Maggie
__________________
🏡 🚐 Cherish and appreciate those you love. This moment could be your last.🌹🐚
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08-26-2012, 08:06 PM
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#1366
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Remember, Safety Third
1973 27' Overlander
Catfish Corners
, Georgia
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 5,720
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Four of my favorite slogans/sayings:
1) "Lead, follow, or get the hell out of the way" (originally applicable on the dance floor, but has many applications in real-life).
B) "Life is tough, life is tougher when you're stupid" (John Wayne is supposed to have uttered this truism at some point).
3) "Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again" (Anon.)
Q) "if a hurricane is approaching, get out of the way" (Duh)
5) "Be Prepared" (Lord Robert Baden-Powell c. 1910)
Jim
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10-26-2012, 04:58 PM
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#1367
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Rivet Master
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida,
, USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,197
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__________________
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
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10-29-2012, 11:30 AM
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#1368
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Rivet Master
1977 Argosy Minuet 6.0 Metre
Colorado Springs
, Colorado
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 739
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Sign in a quilt shop:
"Unattended children will be given candy and a puppy"
__________________
Royce (K0RKK) 146.460 simplex
Web page https://spearfishcreek.net/
AIR# 3913
'77' Minuet 6 Metre, behind a 2005 stock Jeep Rubicon with Equa-L-Zer hitch.
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10-30-2012, 06:41 AM
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#1369
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Rivet Master
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida,
, USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,197
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Is anyone reading this thread a quilter? No, I didn't say "quitter"! So if you are a quilter, what projects are you working on? Has anyone made an Airstream-themed quilt? There are some nice metallic fabrics that could simulate aluminum.
Speaking of aluminum, what is the price paid for scrap aluminum in your area? I'm contemplating sending an Excella to the scrap yard.
__________________
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
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10-30-2012, 09:05 AM
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#1370
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Rivet Master
1973 23' Safari
1977 23' Safari
2018 25' Flying Cloud
Palmer Lake
, Colorado
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 4,092
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Quote:
Originally Posted by N2XBW
...I'm contemplating sending an Excella to the scrap yard.
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What model year? Are you contemplating saving the door, windows, and end caps? Z
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10-30-2012, 12:16 PM
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#1371
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Rivet Master
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida,
, USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,197
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No it's all going! I'm sick of looking at it sneering at me in its aluminum perfection!
I'm going to ask the man at the scrap yard if I can push the button on the shredder!!!
__________________
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
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10-30-2012, 12:55 PM
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#1372
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Rivet Master
1973 23' Safari
1977 23' Safari
2018 25' Flying Cloud
Palmer Lake
, Colorado
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 4,092
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Quote:
Originally Posted by N2XBW
... I'm sick of looking at it sneering at me in its aluminum perfection!..!!
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Don't they have institutions in NY for people like you? Z
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10-30-2012, 01:48 PM
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#1373
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Rivet Master
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida,
, USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,197
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Heh! Heh! Heh-heh-heh!
Grind! Crunch! Chew!
Heh-heh-heh!
Die, my silver beauty!
Heh-heh-heh!
__________________
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
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11-05-2012, 02:03 AM
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#1374
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Rivet Master Commercial Member
1986 31' Sovereign
1975 25' Tradewind
1967 17' Caravel
Sherfield English
, Hampshire
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 700
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by N2XBW
Heh! Heh! Heh-heh-heh!
Grind! Crunch! Chew!
Heh-heh-heh!
Die, my silver beauty!
Heh-heh-heh!
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I hope to Christ this is a joke!
Unfortunately, online we cannot tell whether this user is restricted to the use of the Internet and crayons* only!!!!
* i believe Bellevue doesn't permit sharp implements!
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11-05-2012, 05:12 AM
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#1375
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Rivet Master
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida,
, USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,197
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Gotcha!
__________________
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
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11-05-2012, 05:21 AM
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#1376
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Rivet Master Commercial Member
1986 31' Sovereign
1975 25' Tradewind
1967 17' Caravel
Sherfield English
, Hampshire
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 700
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Thank goodness!
You cannot rely on the good sense of common folk nowadays! I mean, with that avatar there was always the chance that you were a twisted, metal freak with aluminium envy! Lol!
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11-05-2012, 05:53 AM
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#1377
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Rivet Master
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida,
, USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,197
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My doctor said I'll soon be well enough to use a knife and fork!
~( :-(o) D'oh!
__________________
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
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11-05-2012, 06:02 AM
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#1378
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Rivet Master Commercial Member
1986 31' Sovereign
1975 25' Tradewind
1967 17' Caravel
Sherfield English
, Hampshire
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 700
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I had no idea that recovery could include the development of opposable thumbs! Lol!
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11-05-2012, 08:57 AM
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#1379
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Rivet Master
BRADENTON, On The Picturesque and Sunny West Coast of Florida,
, USA, PLANET EARTH, MILKY WAY, LOCAL GROUP, SPIRALING SLOWLY THROUGH THE UNIVERSE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,197
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Now on a different note, Bb!
__________________
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
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11-13-2012, 05:45 PM
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#1380
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Remember, Safety Third
1973 27' Overlander
Catfish Corners
, Georgia
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 5,720
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Have you tried the new Gingerbread Oreo's yet? Sounds disgusting, tastes like a million bucks.
Seriously, not making this up.
Jim
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