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Old 08-31-2009, 01:46 PM   #939
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Cluster Flies — Entomology — Penn State University

Now I know more about something I never heard of before than I ever wanted to know.

Meanwhile smoke is drifting in from California as a haze settles under the formerly clear skies of western Colorado and brings us brilliant red sunsets similar in color to maple trees changing color in northern NY while cluster flies happily sneak into the matter transmitter secretly housed in the Adirondacks being tested for future use by the military-industrial complex to ship toothbrushes to Arkansas and warriors to the Khyber Pass thereby bringing us flying toothbrushes and warriors that bite.

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Old 08-31-2009, 03:03 PM   #940
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Old 08-31-2009, 07:05 PM   #941
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"Night of the Living Fly"

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Originally Posted by N2XBW View Post
We have the exterminator here today spraying the outside of the house for cluster flies. These tend to be a problem in the fall, so the spraying eliminates them as larva. This has been very effective for us over the last 10 or so years.

Does anyone else have a problem with cluster flies? How about in the Airstream?
Oh my god, now I finally know what attacked my house last year!

It started out with one or two buzzing around in my living room one night. After chasing them around with a flyswatter, I quickly dispatched them and sat back down to read my book. A few minutes later, buzz, buzz, there's another one. Up, swat, sit, read. Buzz, buzz, buzz, two more! Now I am jumping around on the furniture, swat, swat, swat. Dead flies. A couple of minutes later, buzz, buzz, I smash the bejeezus out of the little f####r! Put the book down, open all the cabinets in the kitchen, nothing. Look in the trash, nothing, take it out anyway. Come back in, buzz, buzz, buzz. Three more are circling the ceiling light in the dining room. Swat, swat...swat, swat, SWAT. Down comes the light fixture, off fly the flies. Clean up the mess, turn off the lights and sneak down to my bedroom so they can't see where I am going and jump inside and shut the door. Quiet at last. Get ready for bed, scratch, scratch, the cat wants in. Open the door a crack and yank the cat in. Get into bed, scratch, scratch, the other cat wants in, open the door and grab that one too. Back into bed, buzz, buzz. Light back on, jumping around on the bed, swiping madly with a magazine, whack I hit it and it bounces onto the floor, wiggles one wing, bam, the cat pounces and gulp. No more fly. Good kitty.

The next morning there are about 20 of them cruising round and round, like the line up waiting to land at LAX. I get the hell out of dodge and head for the hardware store. Buy a bunch of the sticky tapes to hang in the house. Come back home to find more of their friends have joined the circling mass. Untwirl the sticky tapes and hang one in each room. Search high and low for their entryway, nothing. By night time there must be about 50 of them stuck to the tapes and still more circling. I try to read, BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ go the angry little devils stuck to the tape. I put cotton in my ears and try to ignore the little shadows that keep crisscrossing my page. Finally go to bed, still with cotton in my ears.

By morning the BUZZ is so loud, I can hear it through the cotton. The tapes are massed with black buzzing flies. The collective buzz has turned into more of a low drone, the sound of a plane waiting for take off. The still whirling cloud of escapees make me feel like if there is much more wing power in here, the house will just slowly levitate off it's foundation and we will sail up over the neighborhood and be on our way to never never land....

It is the cat that makes the discovery. I glanced down to see her crouched, intently staring at a spot by the floor board in the living room. Then right before my eyes, a black fly pops out of a tiny crack in front of her. Gulp goes the fly. Good, good kitty. Wonderful kitty.
Back to the hardware store, buy more sticky tapes and a can of spray foam crack sealer. After sealing the hole, it took two days to take out the rest of little black buzzing monsters and now at last, I know what to call those f###ing flies.

Carol
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Old 08-31-2009, 07:15 PM   #942
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Carol,

I love it when you talk dirty.

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Old 08-31-2009, 07:26 PM   #943
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Well, you DO know the Other Half of the word CLUSTER...
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Old 08-31-2009, 08:00 PM   #944
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My side is aching, Carol, you've done it again!
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Old 08-31-2009, 09:39 PM   #945
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There are so many hijack pathways in Carol's post,
I don't know where to start. Our house was attacked
by 3 of these the other night. Good thing they are cute.
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Old 09-01-2009, 03:38 AM   #946
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We have raccoons that we hear at night fishing for fresh-water muscles in the river out back. They "chuckle" and sometimes you'd swear there was a group of kids whooping it up down at the ol' swimming hole.

The porcupines are another matter. Last week two of our dogs, Zoey and Liitle Bear,(the two female black Lab mixes) got into a porky and Zoey ended up with 80 or 90 quills in her mouth and face. The poor little girl is still sore as the last ones work their way out. The vet gave her antibiotics, and said we'd see a few he might have missed. Mugsey Malone, the little Boston/pit cross male, was somehow smart enough to stay out of the frey. Perhaps it just goes to prove the superiority of the male mind.
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Old 09-04-2009, 07:56 PM   #947
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I'm thinking with holidays a week away and the wife back to doing the vast majority of the driving that (not in any particular order):

I need to start taking deep deep deep breaths now, practicing my ability to intake large amounts of air "silently" and releasing them even quieter.

I need to practice to make sure the slamming of my derrière muscles is done with utmost quiet.

I need to practice NOT slamming the brakes on while sitting on the passenger side.

I need to practice NOT grabbing the dash with both hands.

I need to practice NOT showing fear in my eyes. BIG fear.

I need to practice NOT to scrunch my eyes shut while saying the regular prayer routine as quietly as I can while hoping that HE can hear me and has pity on me while she can't hear me or pitiful will be what people will say when they see my bloody beaten abused body rolled out at the next rest stop.

I need to learn to NOT offer up the expertise I've garnered from my many years of driving and towing trailers.

I really need to learn how to remove duct tape from my mouth without ripping too much of my mustache and beard off.

I need to find all items in the car that could be used as a weapon and hide them.

I should have been doing this all summer but I thought all that sage driving advice I'd been offering had filtered in.

Oh yeah, I also need to find maps just in case so I can find my way to our next planned stop while on foot.

I don't know if I can accomplish all of this in one week.

Oh man, do I need help

Barry
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Old 09-04-2009, 09:35 PM   #948
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Barry, perhaps medication, serious medication, would be easier.

Gene
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Old 09-05-2009, 06:38 AM   #949
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This happened on a recent visit to New Bedford MA......

"Bob, where do I turn?"

"See the red light ahead?, turn right there"

After we proceeded straight through the intersection with the right signal flashing, I thoughtlessly asked..."why didn't you turn?"

"it was green"
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Old 09-05-2009, 08:39 AM   #950
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Quote:
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This happened on a recent visit to New Bedford MA......

"Bob, where do I turn?"

"See the red light ahead?, turn right there"

After we proceeded straight through the intersection with the right signal flashing, I thoughtlessly asked..."why didn't you turn?"

"it was green"
Ahh, so I am not alone in this..............

Barry
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Old 09-07-2009, 03:48 AM   #951
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Barry, perhaps medication, serious medication, would be easier.

Gene
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Old 09-07-2009, 09:26 PM   #952
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