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Old 02-15-2008, 09:00 PM   #701
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could someone please recommend a good resteraunt in downtown San Diego?
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Old 02-15-2008, 10:22 PM   #702
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go to little Italy, Blue Indigo or Indigo Blue
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Old 02-15-2008, 10:39 PM   #703
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Quote:
Originally Posted by the ponz
could someone please recommend a good resteraunt in downtown San Diego?
Yes!
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Old 02-16-2008, 07:12 AM   #704
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Thumbs up Eats

Quote:
Originally Posted by mistral blue
Yes!
No
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Old 02-17-2008, 09:01 AM   #705
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"Maybe, she said coyly."

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Old 02-17-2008, 09:28 AM   #706
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Quote:
Originally Posted by the ponz
could someone please recommend a good resteraunt in downtown San Diego?
and stay at the La Pensione Hotel [if you like European style, small rooms, but great neighborhood], just one block from Indigo Blue and across the street from three Italian restaurants. San Diego Hotel La Pensione

but don't even think of going up to George's in La Jolla for a drink at sunset...

If you want to park "in town, sorta" there are two RV parks on Mission Bay--Campland and Mission Bay RV Resort. Campland is a little lower class, with dogs and kids and trees and bushes (not the Texas kind), but fun. If you have a vintage Airstream, Mission Bay will look you over with a fine tooth comb, mostly with their noses in the air, but if you don't have leaks or patches or things hanging down and have a little bit of shine, you're in. Amenities are nice, every thing is landscaped, and it's a little quieter.

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Old 02-18-2008, 12:50 PM   #707
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Exclamation Warning - Warning - Warning

Grizzly Warning: National Park Service

With the early approach of spring-like conditions, Alaska Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert of bears while in the field.

We advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren't expecting them. We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear.

It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear droppings. Black bear droppings are smaller and contain lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear droppings have little bells in it and smell like pepper.


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Old 02-18-2008, 02:41 PM   #708
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hey hairballs!

welcome to........

floccinaucinihilipilification

on president's day...

and what better day is there to pay homage to hair....

All the Presidents' Hair

clearly someone in phili has confused the city with pilapanthia...

of course IF ya really wanna get to the root of follicular tributes,

here is the place to go...

leila's museum

and u can get the original pilary story (with out split ends) from leila herself!

the hair lady tells the story

while this isn't the only museum of tresses and fleece,

not the weirdest thing in french lick....

it is the only one entirely dedicated to human tricho villi tribute...

they've even got some of the king's fur...

could this lock have been part of a egagropilus found in that last

fried pb and banana sammy?

cheers
2air'
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Old 02-18-2008, 11:06 PM   #709
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you can't be serious for even one nanosecond? I'm going to go watch Lewis Black and the history of the joke...
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Old 02-19-2008, 01:55 PM   #710
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Science & Technology Report

Science & Technology


Study Finds Link Between Being Struck By Cream Pie, Diminished Social Standing


ITHACA, NY—A new study conducted by the Cornell Institute for Behavioral and Social Sciences has found... Read more
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Old 02-20-2008, 04:23 PM   #711
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Since this thread has taken a really beezaaar turn

Seen on the side of the road on the way home tonight:

Several bags filled with deep brown stuff sitting under a sign that reads--"Self service cow manure, $4.00 a bag".

Yep, some parts of our county are still pretty rural. You can't make this stuff up, folks. Life is truly strange some days.

Jim
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Old 02-20-2008, 04:37 PM   #712
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That sh@% is good fertilizer.
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Old 02-20-2008, 04:41 PM   #713
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Thumbs up Installing A Husband

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
distinct slow down in overall system performance --


particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated
flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0


In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs,
such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed
undesirable programs such as AFL 5.0, The Ashes 3.0, and Golf Clubs
4.1.


Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes
the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but
to no avail.


What can I do?


Signed, Desperate


.................................................. ...................


Dear Desperate:


First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.


Please enter the command: "http: I Thought You Loved Me.html" and try
to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0
update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then
automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.


But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0
to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5,Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.


Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly
Beta.


Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in
the background that will eventually seize control of all your system
resources).


Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are
unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.


In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider
buying additional software to improve memory and performance.


We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.


Good Luck, Tech Support
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Old 02-20-2008, 05:22 PM   #714
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A little help, please. Isn't this redundant?

Corona Light.

Jim
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Old 02-20-2008, 05:30 PM   #715
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Thumbs up

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim & Susan
A little help, please. Isn't this redundant?

Corona Light.

Jim
Prolix yes...

But it sure tastes good..
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Old 02-20-2008, 06:36 PM   #716
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In Rochester, NY they don't bother with "LITE", they just ask for a "Jenny"
(Genesee Beer) and the "lite" part is built right in.

Hence the saying:
Drinking Jenny is like making love in a canoe...
It's *&^&*^$ near water!
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Old 02-21-2008, 10:34 PM   #717
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Depressed?

Today I was feeling so depressed I called the local mental health line....

I was transferred to a call center in Pakistan.

When I told them I was so depressed that I was considering suicide they got really excited...

And asked if I could fly a plane or drive a truck.

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Old 02-22-2008, 02:25 PM   #718
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Talking The MRE Gourmet

An enlisted friend sent me this. I believe it is a true story. A riot in any case!

The MRE Gourmet
(Meal, Ready-to-Eat)

Only those that have served and eaten MRE's can truly appreciate
this. More commentary from me at the end...

I had a date the other night at my place. On the phone the day before, the girl asked me to "Cook her something she's never had before" for dinner.

After many minutes of scratching my head over what to make, I finally settled on something she has DEFINITELY never eaten.

I got out my trusty case of Army MRE's (Meal, Ready-to-Eat) Field Rations that when eaten in their entirety contain 3000+ calories. Here's what I
made:

I took three of the Ham Slices out of their plastic packets, took out
Three of the Pork Chops, three packets of Chicken-a-la-King, and eight
packets of dehydrated butter noodles and some dehydrated/rehydrated rice. I cooked the Ham Slices and Pork Chops in one pan, sautaed in shaved garlic and olive oil.

In another pot, I blended the Chicken a-la-king, noodles, and rice together
to make a sort of mush that looked suspiciously like succotash. I added
some spices, and blended everything together in a glass pan that I then
cooked in the oven for about 35 minutes at 450 degrees.

When I took it out, it looked like, well, ham slices, pork chops, and
a bed of yellow poop.

I covered the tops of the meat in the MRE cheese (kinda like Velveta) and added some green sprinkly thingys from one of my spice cans (hey, if it's got green sprinkly thingys on it, it looks fancy right?)

For dessert, I took four MRE Pound Cakes, mashed 'em up, added five
Packets of cocoa powder, powdered coffee cream, and some water. I heated it up and stirred it until it looked like a sort of chunky gelatinous organism,
and I sprinkled powdered sugar on top of it. Voila - Ranger Pudding.

For alcoholic drinks, I took the rest of my bottle of Military Special
Vodka (yes, they DO make a type of liquor named "Military Special" - it
sells for $4.35 per fifth) and mixed in four packets of "Electrolytes
- 1 each - Cherry flavored" (I swear, the packet says that). It looked
like an eerie Kool-Aid with sparkles in it (that was the electrolytes I guess ..
could've been leftover sand from Egypt).

I lit two candles, put a vase of wildflowers in the middle, and set the table with my best set of Ralph Lauren Academy-series China (that **** is EXPENSIVE ... my set of 8 place settings cost me over $600), and put the alcoholic drink in a crystal wine decanter.

She came over, and I had some appetizers already made, of MRE spaghetti-with-meatballs, set in small cups. She saw the dinner, saw the food, and said "This looks INCREDIBLE!!!"

We dug in, and she was loving the food. Throughout the meal, she kept
asking me how long it took me to make it, and kept remarking that I obviously knew a thing or two about cooking fine meals. She kind of balked at the makeshift "wine" I had set out, but after she tried it I guess she liked it because she drank four glasses during dinner.

At the end of the main course, when I served the dessert, she squealed with delight at the "Chocolate mousse" I had made. Huh? Chocolate what?
Okay .. yeah ... it's Chocolate Moose. Took me HOURS to make .yup.

Later on, as we were watching a movie, she excused herself to use my
restroom. While she was in there, I heard her say softly to herself
"uh oh" and a resounding but petite fart punctuated her utterance of dismay.

Let the games begin.

She sprayed about half a can of air freshener (Air Freshener, 1 each,
Orange scent. Yup. The Army even makes smellgood) and returned to the
couch, this time with an obvious pained look.

After 10 more minutes she excused herself again, and retreated to the
bathroom for the second time. I could hear her say "What the hell is
WRONG with me???", as she again send flatulent shockwaves into the
porcelain bowl.

This time, they sounded kinda wet, and I heard the toilet paper roll
Being employed, and again, LOTS more air freshener.

Back to the couch. She smiles meekly as she decides to sit on the chair
instead of next to me. She sits on my chair, knees pulled up to her
chest,
kind of rocking back and forth slightly. Suddenly, without a word, she
ROCKETED up and FLEW to the bathroom, slammed the door, and didn't
come out for 30 minutes.

I turned the movie up because I didn't want her to hear me laughing
so hard that tears were streaming down my cheeks.

She came out with a slightly gray pallor to her face, and said "I am
SOOOOOO sorry. I have NO idea what is wrong with me. I am so
embarrassed, I can't believe I keep running to your bathroom!!"

I gave her an Immodium AD, and she finally settled down and relaxed.

Later on, she asked me again what I had made for dinner, because she had
enjoyed it so much. I calmly took her into the kitchen and showed her
all the used MRE bags and packets in the trash can.

After explaining to her that she had eaten roughly 9,000 calories of
"Army food" she turned stark white, looked at me incredulously, and said "I
ate 9,000 calories of dehydrated food that was made 3 years ago?"

After I concurred, she grabbed her coat and keys, and took off without a
word.

She called me yesterday. Seems she couldn't **** for 3 days, and when
she finally did, the smell was so bad, her roommate could smell it from down
the hall. She also told me she had been working out nonstop to combat
the high caloric intake, and that she never wanted me to cook dinner for her
again, unless she was PERSONALLY there to inspect the food beforehand.

It was a fun date. She laughed about it eventually, and said that that was the first time she'd ever crapped in a guy's house on a date. She'd been so upset by it she was in tears in the bathroom while I had been in tears on the couch.

I know, I'm an a**hole, but it was still a funny night.


Let me just say that MREs produce the worst gas known to man. I literally cleared out the wing of a building one day after having been out in the field for 2 weeks eating nothing but MREs. I thought they tasted pretty good going in, but coming out they are truly chemical and biological weapons of mass destruction.
Hoo-ah!
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Old 02-22-2008, 08:51 PM   #719
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Man, I love some ham slice and potatoes au rotten heated up in the little chemical pouch w/ some MRE tobassco on it. Mmmmmmm...mmmmmmmmthat's good.
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Old 02-25-2008, 03:30 PM   #720
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Passports

Why do they expire?

Ahhh, you need to get your eyes or hearing checked? Maybe you're suddenly not a citizen, or maybe you might have died (as you know, bad guys just wouldn't be able to steal your passport and use it if you were alive). Perhaps you're just not as smart as you were.

I mean, what qualification is it that you might no longer have? Maybe your butt is too wide to fit in a single airline seat?

Which brings up a related question, if you get in your sailboat and go out beyond the 12 mile limit, or even the 200 mile economic limit, but don't touch any foreign country, do you need a passport to step back onto US soil? Did you actually "leave?" If you just went out and parked at 11.5 miles, over the horizon, for year, could the babushkas at Homeland Defense not let you land?

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