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Old 03-01-2008, 05:43 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tin sista
Long ago we went on a tour to a cute town in Michigan called Frankenmuth, great place to visit if you come to our state. So we get the lecture about the German immigrants, see the different Bavarian traditions, etc. Sit down to eat this great German meal, this guy at our table pipes up and says "Wow, is this stuff German or something? Look at this food, I think its German..." Here's your sign...



I won't confess to all the here's your sign moments folks could use on me
You can always tell a German...but you can't tell 'em much

Here's your sign
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Old 03-03-2008, 09:41 AM   #30
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So, in 1982 I'm a young copper with three or four years under my belt on San Diego PD. We have a fatal crash in LaJolla on Torrey Pines Road at Ivanhoe. It's raining cats and dogs, and it's not a very pleasant winter night in La Jolla. I take up a a traffic post at Prospect and Torry Pines at the stoplight controlled intersection. Torrey Pines Road is a four-lane street.

I pull my police car across the westbound lanes, lit up like a Christmas tree, lay a flare line that anyone would have been proud of, and stand between the flare line and my patrol car with my flashlight directing traffic to detour off Torrey Pines.

Things are going great for the hour or so, and then a brand new Mercedes sedan stops right in front of me, and then proceeds to drive through my flare line, slowly. I wave and yell, and finally have to smack the hood with my hand to make the car stop. I walk around to the driver's door, and a lady in her mid-60s sneers "What do you want?" I said, "Ma'am, what do you think it means when there's a policeman behind a flare line with a police car motioning with a flashlight for you turn left at an intersection?"

She said "I don't know, but you're not stopping me from going home." I said, "Ma'am, there's a fatality accident up ahead, and if you continue to drive past me, I intend to arrest you."

She looked up at me with a glare that could have killed and sneered "Well, then young man, just how am I supposed to get home?"

By this point traffic had stacked up for two blocks and things were starting to get pretty snarled. I was cold and wet, out of patience, and I'd just about had it with her. I said, "Lady, I don't know where you live, how the hell am I supposed to know how you're going to go home?"

With another sneer, she backed up and left.

Here's your sign!

Roger
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Old 03-03-2008, 12:26 PM   #31
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that's a great one, Roger!!!
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Old 03-08-2008, 01:10 PM   #32
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Bill Engvall's Here's Your Sign Christmas Song
Click Here
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Old 03-08-2008, 01:15 PM   #33
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Man observing a large group of women and Airstreams at a Rivette We Can Tow It Rally, "Are you ladies alone?"
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Old 03-13-2008, 11:59 AM   #34
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We're missing the classic here!

I can't count the number of times I've told someone our new trailer is a 2006 model or about the latest new AS models and heard "They still make those?"

Jim
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Old 03-13-2008, 08:53 PM   #35
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I am surprised at the number of people who ask what year the Pontiac is and then ask if I bought it new .

Depending on who it is I've often commented "yeah, like most boomers, I bought my first car when I was seven".

You'd be amazed at how many say "really?"

Barry
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Old 03-13-2008, 11:09 PM   #36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by safari57
I am surprised at the number of people who ask what year the Pontiac is and then ask if I bought it new .

Depending on who it is I've often commented "yeah, like most boomers, I bought my first car when I was seven".

You'd be amazed at how many say "really?"

Barry
Hi, I get the same thing with my 1959 Ford Galaxie; Did you buy it new? My answer should be: Yes I did. I had a good paying job and a driver's license when I was thirteen years old. Here's Your Sign
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Old 03-14-2008, 10:57 PM   #37
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Angry On the cell in the Carwash here's your sign

Carwash, I'm in an economy car, between 2 suvs. The driver in front of me has stopped at the end where the driver is talking on her cell phone with some kinda bass thing going on in the speakers. I'm honking holy toledo I'm gonna be an suv sandwich hold the mayo, cause there's some kinda big vehicle behind me, car keeps moving on the line, polite honk, no response, two polite honks, nothing, finally I just give it a firm Detroit get the heck outta here blast, well finally the driver looks up and moves.
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Old 03-16-2008, 09:07 AM   #38
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Taking stupid pills...

It seems to be going around at my work...
Another co-worker installed a new engine in a car after ruining the original (anybody here want to be mechanics, come see me), and was washing it down with higly flammable cleaner. Not unexpectedly, it erupted into flames. We got it put out without damage, I turned my back on him for just a second, and he DID IT AGAIN!
"WOOF!"
Two fire exinguishers later, it (and him, this time) were put out...
Thinking about having some signs made for these guys...
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Old 07-09-2008, 01:23 PM   #39
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I was setting up the stage for a Lime Hollow Boys show a few days back when this lady walked up and asked pleasantly, "Are we going to have some music?"
I replied, "No ma'am, we just like to load all this stuff in the van, unload it, set it up somewhere where there's a crowd to see if it works, then tear it all down, load it up again and take it home.
Here's your sign.........!"
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Old 07-09-2008, 08:42 PM   #40
CLOUDSPLITTER "Tahawas"
 
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Boy am I "out of It"

Quote:
Originally Posted by overlander63 View Post
In the spirit of Bill Engval,...
Bill who? What sign?
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PFC.....

“After all these years the reason I continue to love Thanksgiving.....I still sit at the kids table.”
RLC

Sandra wanted to go to Cleveland on vacation,
but I’m the Husband, so we went to Cleveland.
RLC
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Old 11-03-2009, 09:12 AM   #41
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A true story told at this morning's coffe clatch:

Two county workers had the nearby quiet country bridge blocked off by their pickups, caution lights spinning, while they worked on a broken railing.

A lady pulled up, blew her horn until one of the men HAD to walk to her car.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"We're fixing the bridge."

"Why, is it really broken?", she insisted.

"No ma'am, we just pick a bridge every day or two and change some of the parts on it."

"REALLY?"

"Yup, ...and herrrrre's your sign!"
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