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Old 10-18-2008, 06:07 PM   #29
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Getting Older When...

When you bend over to pick something up. You look around to see if there is anything else that you can grab while you're down there.

Or when you are checking the yard before you cut the grass, you kick things closer together so you only have to bend over once.
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Old 10-18-2008, 06:55 PM   #30
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When 70 looks young!
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Old 10-19-2008, 09:36 AM   #31
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Age by WAL*MART

You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house mowing the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room, or whatever. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit - shorts with the hole in crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes. Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Wal-Mart to get something to help complete the job.

Depending on your age you might do the following:

In your 20's:
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. You went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

In your 30's:
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.

In your 40's:
Stop what you are doing. Put a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Wal-Mart. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.

In your 50's:
Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dirt in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, "I Got Worms."

In your 60's:
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog **** off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in you pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure.

In your 70's:
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Wal-Mart until they have your prescriptions ready, too. Don't even notice the dog **** on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.

In your 80's:
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you needed to go to Wal-Mart. Go to Wal-Mart and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name.. You went to school with the mother of the nice older lady who greeted you at the front door.

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Old 10-19-2008, 05:13 PM   #32
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Need to take "bi-focals" off, to read. Then require magnifying glass to read small print.
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Old 10-19-2008, 07:42 PM   #33
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getting older when...
...you walk down the street or in the mall, and many of the young people look like escapees from a side show.
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Old 10-19-2008, 08:03 PM   #34
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You know that you're getting old when you best "moves" are followed by a flush
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Old 10-19-2008, 08:21 PM   #35
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getting older when...
...the first ingredient in your morning coffee cup is Benefiber.
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Old 10-19-2008, 09:48 PM   #36
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getting older when you can personally relate to all the getting older jokes.......
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Old 10-20-2008, 08:25 AM   #37
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getting older when...
...ah...
...well...
...um...
...what was I doing?
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Old 10-20-2008, 08:25 PM   #38
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...when you're the only one in the house that will watch a black and white movie.
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Old 10-21-2008, 09:59 AM   #39
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getting older when...
...Most of your favorite movie actors are dead
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Old 10-21-2008, 10:05 AM   #40
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when that little "change zoom level" bot at the bottom right of IE7 actually gets used.

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Old 10-22-2008, 02:49 PM   #41
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Thumbs up

Quote:
Originally Posted by N2XBW View Post
...when you remember Bill Cosby as a "Cutting Edge" Comic.
N2XBW- Matter of fact I do remember Bill Cosby as "Cutting Edge" but only because my late Father moonlighted as a bartender in a place called "Faraghers",late 60's or early 70's, and Cosby entertained there. Faragher's was located in Cleveland Heights, Ohio. I was in my late teens then and remember Dad talking about it.

Speaking of entertaining I'd like to send you a thumbs up for everything you post on these forums as the wife & I enjoy, and crack up, reading everything you come up with.
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Old 10-22-2008, 03:00 PM   #42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 345bill View Post
N2XBW- Matter of fact I do remember Bill Cosby as "Cutting Edge" but only because my late Father moonlighted as a bartender in a place called "Faraghers",late 60's or early 70's, and Cosby entertained there. Faragher's was located in Cleveland Heights, Ohio. I was in my late teens then and remember Dad talking about it.

Speaking of entertaining I'd like to send you a thumbs up for everything you post on these forums as the wife & I enjoy, and crack up, reading everything you come up with.
Thanks, man!
-JW

getting older when...
...You can't remember why you just thanked someone.
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