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Old 07-07-2011, 07:56 PM   #57
one of those
 
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wow, Canadians are actually pretty literate. Most of the other ex-pats we have met down here are French Canadian. Followed by Brits, and then Aussies and other Americans. And all that time I was growing up in Texas my grand dad told me that Canookians were just Mexicans headed north with bad brakes.

Now I know better.

I met my first Canadian red-neck down here. seriously.

We get along fairly well, for some strange reason.
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Old 09-20-2011, 06:56 PM   #58
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Canadian T-Shirt:

Yeh, I'm Canadian!

What Aboot It?
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Old 05-07-2012, 02:47 PM   #59
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Two words: Corner Gas!

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Old 03-22-2013, 03:17 PM   #60
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What is the difference between a Canadian and a canoe?

Canoes tip.


Yuk yuk!
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Old 03-23-2013, 05:19 AM   #61
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The difference between Canadians and Americans is how we slice our bacon.
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Old 03-23-2013, 10:43 AM   #62
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave Park View Post
Canadians speak "The Queen's English."

Americans speak "Simplified English."

American dictionaries have 1,500 - 2,000 fewer words than Canadian or British dictionaries.

That is all!
Does that include the urban dictionary as well? Fashizle.
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Old 03-24-2013, 08:05 AM   #63
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Quebec Language Nazis.

Beep-Beep!
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Old 03-24-2013, 10:08 AM   #64
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Quote:
Originally Posted by N2XBW View Post
Quebec Language Nazis.

Beep-Beep!
We have that in the US in states that passed English-only laws some time ago. Well, sort of—not quite as extreme as Quebec. The English only laws were aimed at immigrants, the Quebec laws are aimed at citizens and everyone else who doesn't understand French.

We had trouble reading road signs, especially on expressways. By the time we figured out what the sign said and what exit we needed, we had passed it. By comparison, when Saddam Hussein was running Iraq, the road signs were in English and Arabic. In many countries, even ones that don't like us, they have bilingual road signs, one language being English.

We could get through the language issue in Quebec ok (and the people were very friendly and helpful) except for the road signs. That made it an effort to travel in parts of Quebec. We have noticed in many provinces the signs are bilingual except in Quebec.

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Old 03-24-2013, 03:08 PM   #65
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CANADA, FOR VARIOUS REASONS...

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
1. Vancouver : 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
5. Weed.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
1. Big rock between you and B.C.
2. Ottawa who?
3. Tax is 5% instead of the approximately 200% it is for the rest of the country.
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
1. You never run out of wheat.
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
4. People will assume you live on a farm.
5. Daylight savings time? Who the hell needs that!

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
1. You live in the centre of the universe.
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
1. Racism is socially acceptable.
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada .
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo A*#!%!"

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick .
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island , you still got the big, new bridge.
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
3. The workday is about two hours long.
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding.

Pass this along to Canadians who need a laugh and foreigners who can learn something about Canada and then enjoy a good chuckle.

Let's face it: Canadians are a rare breed.

The Official Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart

50° Fahrenheit (10° C)
· Californians shiver uncontrollably.
· Canadians plant gardens.

35° Fahrenheit (1.6° C)
· Italian Cars won't start
· Canadians drive with the windows down

32° Fahrenheit (0° C)
· American water freezes
· Canadian water gets thicker.

0° Fahrenheit (-17.9° C)
· New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.
· Canadians have the last cookout of the season.

-60° Fahrenheit (-51° C)
· Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
· Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.

-109.9° Fahrenheit (-78.5° C)
· Carbon dioxide freezes makes dry ice.
· Canadians pull down their earflaps.

-173° Fahrenheit (-114° C)
· Ethyl alcohol freezes.
· Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg

-459.67° Fahrenheit (-273.15° C)
· Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.
· Canadians start saying "cold, eh?"

-500° Fahrenheit (-295° C)
· Hell freezes over.
· The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup...

Beep-Beep!
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Old 03-24-2013, 04:20 PM   #66
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Old 06-04-2013, 07:53 AM   #67
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USA v. CANADA
"CAMP" = "COTTAGE"
"Napkin" = "Serviette"
"Tenting" = "Camping"
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Old 07-03-2013, 08:46 AM   #68
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Old 07-03-2013, 11:09 AM   #69
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Time to travel to Canada again—after a couple of years with the Canadian dollar worth more than the US, now it is a measly 94.5˘ US. Not as good as a decade ago when it was worth about 2/3 the US dollar, but a good trend.

Gene
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Old 07-03-2013, 12:43 PM   #70
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Be patient, Gene! With the Interest rates in the US about to rise, the Canadian dollar will take a plunge. If you are Canadian, invest your dollars in US funds now!

From my earlier post: My "Canadian Name" is Double-Double Back Bacon! What's yours?
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