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Old 12-01-2009, 11:03 AM   #1
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Canadian Humour

I'm a bit bored at work right now, so I thought I'd pass along a cute one from Jeff Foxworthy about Canadians. I've put a star next to the ones that are true (from my perspective at least).

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you may
live in Canada. *

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Canada. *

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Canada.

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a
wrong number, you may live in Canada. *

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Canada. *

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may
live in Canada. *

If you have switched from "Heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, you may live in Canada. *

If you can drive 90 kms/hr through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard
without flinching, you may live in Canada. *

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both
unlocked, you may live in Canada. *

If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Canada. *

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may live in Canada. *

If the speed limit on the highway is 80km andyou're going 90 but everybody is passing you, you may live in Canada. *

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
snow, you may live in Canada. *

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road
construction, you may live in Canada.*

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in Canada.

If you find 2 degrees "a little chilly", you may live in Canada. *
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Old 12-01-2009, 05:16 PM   #2
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If you have more Tim Hortons outlets than McDonalds...you must live in Canada.
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Old 12-01-2009, 05:22 PM   #3
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If someone steps on your foot and before you realize it you hear yourself saying, "Oh! Excuse me, sorry about that!" you may be a Canadian...
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Old 12-02-2009, 05:40 PM   #4
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If business signs are in English and French instead of English and Spanish, you're in Canada!

If you hear English and French spoken, and you're skating outdoors in a national capitol, You're in Canada!

If you're watching a football game and the rules are a little strange, you're in Canada!

If you're wondering why everybody is excited about some 'cup' that belongs to 'Stanley', you're in Canada.

If every little town you drive through in winter has an arena or lighted outdoor rink, you're in Canada.

If the beer you're drinking seems a wee bit strong, you're in Canada.
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Old 02-04-2010, 08:27 PM   #5
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If you are standing in line at the cash, and English changes to French, usually a combination of both, you are in Atlantic Canada. Chiac...easiest tool for learning French and English in tango.
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Old 02-04-2010, 09:06 PM   #6
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If you hear a conversation that goes something like, "On est allée downtown hier soir pour catcher le liquor store avant le closing, et il y avait trois dans l' back seat et j'étais tellement squeezé!" you are probably in New Brunswick!
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Old 02-04-2010, 09:44 PM   #7
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Right on, parlez vous frenglish?
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Old 02-04-2010, 09:48 PM   #8
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mets en! hove course!
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Old 02-04-2010, 09:57 PM   #9
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Bon soir cher......
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Old 02-04-2010, 10:13 PM   #10
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ahbetôt-là
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Old 02-05-2010, 07:15 PM   #11
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Avez vous des air por le tyre?
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Old 05-07-2012, 08:39 AM   #12
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Pure "Canada-Speak": 'M headin' over t' Tronna. Ajax. Eh, Jacques?

(Tronna = Toronto. Ajax is an eastern suburb of Toronto)
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Old 05-07-2012, 08:46 AM   #13
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You pick up the phone and say 'halo statue'
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Old 05-07-2012, 04:21 PM   #14
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'You pick up the phone and say 'halo statue''

"No, Dishes Sam Uderguy!
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