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Old 06-29-2010, 02:58 PM   #1
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calling all you witty ones...

I'm filling out my final form for an upcoming cattle drive in WY... the owners of the ranch are pretty funny (for example, this form states "If you haven’t sent in your registration please do so. Without this information you will alternate days, sharing a horse with someone else, so bring a good pair of walking shoes.") I've been trying to come up with some good replies to a few of the questions that I need to answer.

I seem to laugh pretty good as some of your comments - sometime I almost fall out of my chair. Please help me!!!

This is the question I'd like to find a witty comment to: BRIEFLY DESCRIBE YOUR RIDING EXPERIENCE. Right now I put "I've know all (5) gaits: stop, start, stumble, stagger and fall." But it's really not that funny. Later I'll tell them that I'm an intermediate rider - maybe with a description of what I consider intermediate!

I'm also trying to decide on something funny to do or bring. First day dress as a silly cowgirl - with high-heeled boots and fringy vest. Or bring a My Little Kitty sleeping bag. Or (washable spray) hair paint & stencil to add a little detail to the cowboys horses while they're not looking... ??? Any ideas are welcome - gotta make this fun! It'll be 7-9 hrs in the saddle - bringing cows down 6000' in the (possibly) cold & rain.


Laura
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Old 06-29-2010, 03:27 PM   #2
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I can't think of a witty response for you, am too stunned at what you're doing to think clearly! I am going to assume you are relatively young and in good condition.

I'd be careful about wild riding outfits or doing anything to the horses they are not accustomed to, as they are large and powerful and you might elicit an unintended response.

Sounds like great fun for a relative youngster, and an experience you'll never forget. Have a good time and post here when you're through to let us know how it went.

Maggie
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Old 06-29-2010, 03:44 PM   #3
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How about...

Quote:
Originally Posted by funkill View Post
I'm filling out my final form for an upcoming cattle drive in WY... the owners of the ranch are pretty funny (for example, this form states "If you haven’t sent in your registration please do so. Without this information you will alternate days, sharing a horse with someone else, so bring a good pair of walking shoes.") I've been trying to come up with some good replies to a few of the questions that I need to answer.

I seem to laugh pretty good as some of your comments - sometime I almost fall out of my chair. Please help me!!!

This is the question I'd like to find a witty comment to: BRIEFLY DESCRIBE YOUR RIDING EXPERIENCE. Right now I put "I've know all (5) gaits: stop, start, stumble, stagger and fall." But it's really not that funny. Later I'll tell them that I'm an intermediate rider - maybe with a description of what I consider intermediate!

I'm also trying to decide on something funny to do or bring. First day dress as a silly cowgirl - with high-heeled boots and fringy vest. Or bring a My Little Kitty sleeping bag. Or (washable spray) hair paint & stencil to add a little detail to the cowboys horses while they're not looking... ??? Any ideas are welcome - gotta make this fun! It'll be 7-9 hrs in the saddle - bringing cows down 6000' in the (possibly) cold & rain.


Laura
I don't have any experience riding in briefs! I think this idea is tacky and I will of course have to report this to the local ASPCA if you insist on this form of bare-back riding!!! I've heard of chaps but this would be chapped wouldn't it? Also, Is my horse a Blonde? I really want one as I heard they have more fun.
Secondly, I don't mind sharing a horse with someone else as I have a smaller appetite! Do I need to bring my own New York Bar-b-que sauce? As for the cattle drive do they have drivers licenses or learners permits? Do you have full coverage insurance for the riders as I am a little accident prone (I get the full-body cast off tomorrow). Sure hope the straight razor can cut thru the 6 weeks of leg hair growth!
Just so you know... I do have my own saddle donut so saddle sores won't be an issue! As to the cattle if they come down the 6000' ft too fast do they get the bends? Hope to hear back from you soon with my reservation. Laura (Annie Oakley). Hope this is what you were looking for. Happy Trails, Ed
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Old 06-29-2010, 04:12 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by doug&maggie View Post
I can't think of a witty response for you, am too stunned at what you're doing to think clearly! I am going to assume you are relatively young and in good condition.

I'd be careful about wild riding outfits or doing anything to the horses they are not accustomed to, as they are large and powerful and you might elicit an unintended response.

Sounds like great fun for a relative youngster, and an experience you'll never forget. Have a good time and post here when you're through to let us know how it went.

Maggie
Young is relative, right? But I really need to challenge myself. My main concern is that they may send you off on your own and my sense of direction is a bit - limited!

Ridiculous riding outfit is for arrival night only and have an idea of the power behind the horse --- unfortunately....
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Old 06-29-2010, 04:13 PM   #5
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Many thanks!

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Originally Posted by BIGED52 View Post
I don't have any experience riding in briefs! I think this idea is tacky and I will of course have to report this to the local ASPCA if you insist on this form of bare-back riding!!! I've heard of chaps but this would be chapped wouldn't it? Also, Is my horse a Blonde? I really want one as I heard they have more fun.
Secondly, I don't mind sharing a horse with someone else as I have a smaller appetite! Do I need to bring my own New York Bar-b-que sauce? As for the cattle drive do they have drivers licenses or learners permits? Do you have full coverage insurance for the riders as I am a little accident prone (I get the full-body cast off tomorrow). Sure hope the straight razor can cut thru the 6 weeks of leg hair growth!
Just so you know... I do have my own saddle donut so saddle sores won't be an issue! As to the cattle if they come down the 6000' ft too fast do they get the bends? Hope to hear back from you soon with my reservation. Laura (Annie Oakley). Hope this is what you were looking for. Happy Trails, Ed

Oh - that's good. When I first started reading, I was thinking, huh? This guy thinks I want to ride in briefs? Ahhhhhhhhhhh, I am such a DORK.

Perfect! You always get what you're lookin' for on this forum - sooner or later.

Laura
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Old 06-29-2010, 04:19 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by doug&maggie View Post
I can't think of a witty response for you, am too stunned at what you're doing to think clearly! I am going to assume you are relatively young and in good condition.

I'd be careful about wild riding outfits or doing anything to the horses they are not accustomed to, as they are large and powerful and you might elicit an unintended response.

Sounds like great fun for a relative youngster, and an experience you'll never forget. Have a good time and post here when you're through to let us know how it went.

Maggie

Oh, and if you accidentally saddle up and ride off on the wrong horse (seems most of the horses are brown, with white blazes somewhere) - they won't tell you! They had a good laugh with one rider when he remarked that his horse didn't act the same as it had the day before --- welllllllllll, that's because it wasn't the same horse as he had ridden the day before - he saddled someone elses horse!

They give out saddle bag awards for the most interesting *stunts*.

Laura
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Old 06-29-2010, 04:49 PM   #7
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BRIEFLY DESCRIBE YOUR RIDING EXPERIENCE.

You mean like on real animals? OK - I can probably manage that. I have a LOT of experience with mechanical bulls and own all the right clothes. Does it matter if I mix and match different kinds of leather? I just got a new set of patent leather chaps that I'm dying to try out but it's a little different color than my riding crop (deeper shade of red). Will there be someone there to introduce me to the horsey?
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Old 06-29-2010, 04:56 PM   #8
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Too funny, Janet!

Maggie
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Old 06-29-2010, 05:05 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janet View Post
BRIEFLY DESCRIBE YOUR RIDING EXPERIENCE.

You mean like on real animals? OK - I can probably manage that. I have a LOT of experience with mechanical bulls and own all the right clothes. Does it matter if I mix and match different kinds of leather? I just got a new set of patent leather chaps that I'm dying to try out but it's a little different color than my riding crop (deeper shade of red). Will there be someone there to introduce me to the horsey?
Zing - I think it needs the addition of LIKE and HOT inserted a few more times....
I have, LIKE, a LOT of experience with mechanical bulls and own all the , LIKE, right clothes. Does it matter if I mix and match different kinds of leather? I, LIKE, just got a new set of HOT patent leather chaps that I'm, LIKE, dying to try out but it's a little different color than my riding crop (deeper shade of red). Will there be LIKE, someone HOT there to introduce me to the horsey?
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Old 06-29-2010, 05:37 PM   #10
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i get bored on long drives. do you have a horse that talks like mr ed?

do any of the horses have gps?

what color shoes will the horse be wearing? i want to wear boots that match.

i don't mind sharing a horse. i'd like holding onto a handsome cowboy.

i'm an experienced rider. in fact, last time they said they've never seen anyone ride like me! it was nice of them to have me try riding while facing the horse's head.

i'm good at roping too. i've never had a boyfriend escape.
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Old 06-29-2010, 09:48 PM   #11
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i get bored on long drives. do you have a horse that talks like mr ed?

do any of the horses have gps?

what color shoes will the horse be wearing? i want to wear boots that match.

i don't mind sharing a horse. i'd like holding onto a handsome cowboy.

i'm an experienced rider. in fact, last time they said they've never seen anyone ride like me! it was nice of them to have me try riding while facing the horse's head.

i'm good at roping too. i've never had a boyfriend escape.

OMG - another chair moving response. Thanks - I love it "never seen anyone ride like me". Classic!

I was at dinner and asked about riding a cow (another threat if you hadn't returned your registration form in on time) and one guy said, "hell yeah, I've been riding cows all my life - love it" Not certain what he meant, but it will be a good response on my form! Hope they don't get the wrong idea about me though

This is a video of the place I'm going: Video of Cattle Drive - Doublerafter Cattle Drives

I can't wait! Thanks for your witty replies. I'll put something together and hope they realize what they're in for!

Laura
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Old 06-29-2010, 11:16 PM   #12
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that looks like an interesting adventure. for that price, i want my beef delivered! i can't wait for your pictures and stories. and don't punch any doggies ;-)
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Old 06-29-2010, 11:32 PM   #13
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hey kill...

herez a book 2 read b4 yer saddle parts ez sore...

last cattle drive by robert day...very very funny and mostly true.

u can read bout it here...

CJOnline.com - Writer celebrates longevity of 'Last Cattle Drive'

or scan the reviews and buy an old copy on the river...

bookin on da river...

i'm an old cowhand from the rio grande
but my legs ain't bowed, and my cheeks ain't tan
well i'm a cowboy who never saw a cow
never roped a steer ’cause i don't know how
and i sure ain't fixin’ to start in now
oh, yippee-i-o-ki-ay, yippee-i-o-ki-ay



cheers
2air'
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Old 06-29-2010, 11:37 PM   #14
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BRIEFLY DESCRIBE YOUR RIDING EXPERIENCE.

Laura
Hi, I have lots of riding experience, but sometimes I drive. Oh, you mean horses? I have about 300 of them under the hood of my new car. What kind of gas mileage do your horses get? How big are your horses? How many hands? Can't you afford to buy a tape measure? I rode a lot of horses when I was a little girl, as long as my parents had quarters.
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