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Old 04-01-2011, 09:55 AM   #1
Tom O
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Anyone Experience This?

Termite Mutation Threatens Aircraft

Recently-Declassified Documents Reveal The Existence Of Aluminum-Eating Termites

ANN April 1st Special Edition: Recently-declassified government documents and photos reveal the rumors of aluminum eating termites (aka almites) are true. The aluminum termite is a mutation of a common termite seen all around the world. Bacteria in the digestive tract of the almite live off of aluminum oxides and secrete enzymes and nutrients essential to the almites survival.

Air Force Almite Experiment
Almites were first discovered in the 1920's as aircraft manufacturers were changing from the venerable 4130 chromoly tubing to the 20 series aluminum. Quick to discover the problem, scientists at the NACA and industry quickly developed coated aluminum (Alclad) that was resistant to almite attack. The development of alclad would prove essential to the Allied success in WWII.

During WW II, Germany was working on a Large Strategic Bomber (LSB) similar in size to the B-29. British commandos, working with the French Resistance, were able to places amites in the tails of the two LSB prototypes. The resulting unexplained crashes caused Hitler to kill the program (along with the company's chief engineer). Almites were also placed on several HE-111's, to devastatingly good effect.

HE-111 Destroyed By Almites
In the US, fears that the almites would mutate further and attack alclad caused the military to consider the development of a large transport to be made completely out of wood. Contrary to popular belief, the Spruce Goose was not built because of a lack of aluminum, but because of the fear of contaminated aluminum. Only Howard Hughes and a small number of chief engineers were fully aware of the REAL reason behind the HK-1 project.

Almites appear to have a sinister side in industrial espionage. Some of the US servicemen that worked with the British were rumored to be working for Boeing at the time that the two early Comets crashed. Rather than admit to the existence of the almites, the British agreed to drop the issue in exchange for US propulsion technologies.

In practice almites are easily taken care of. The feared mutation of alclad-almites has never happened, and in fact, there is DNA evidence that it never will. While almites can provide a source of common corrosion, it is typically found during the required annual inspection. On the rare occasion that almites are discovered, they are dismissed as harmless bugs. The FAA is reportedly about to publish an INfO to address the issue.

From AvWeb.

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Old 04-01-2011, 10:35 AM   #2
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Another good one. Guess what todays date is. Sal.

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Old 04-01-2011, 11:31 PM   #3
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Aw darn, thanks for reminding me of the date. I pondered for 4 beers wondering what these Almites ate before man "discovered" aluminum.
"Sometimes I wonder if the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it." Mark Twain

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