This is an old thread but I hate to see questions go unanswered.
In post 15, that's the friction-type sway control you need for the small ball on the AirSafe hitch. They're basically all alike, so I'm sure that brand would be OK.
And regarding post 16, if you're not going to use weight transfer bars, you can remove the brackets but I'd keep them for possible use in the future. Of course, I keep everything and eventually find most things in my stash come in handy. In any case, the brackets are easy to remove and replace.
Let us know how your towing goes.