I think we're in violent agreement over this
I haven't been able to take our rig to a scale yet but I have tried towing with the hitch adjusted with slightly more and less weight distribution to the front. I've done this by removing and adding one washer to the hitch angle which is the smallest incrementaly adjustment I can make. One chain link is a HUGE adjustment. With our set-up equal suspension compression front and rear is what works best. I can't say for sure without going to the scales (on the to do list) but I'm going to guess that it's pretty close to equal weight added to front and rear axles.
The (very) old instructions that came with our Reese hitch say to load set-up with the rear bias like you have. From what you and others have said that seems to be most applicable to HD trucks that were designed to carry a load in the bed. I've known a lot of people that routinely carry arround a few hundred pounds in the back of there trucks all the time just so that it handles and rides better.
I think one golden rule you pointed out is that as a MINIMUM you should restore the original amount of weight to the front axle and I think that can be determined without a scale just by measureing fender well height. I llike that measurement better than bumper height though both would probably work.
Thanks for the response,