Wow, what a tough question. I own a 1984 BJ60 with the 3.4L 4 cylinder diesel and I have towed full size trucks with it but holy to mergatroit was it slow and ponderous.
The gassers are not much better and parts could be expensive if not hard to come by.
The Grand Wagoneer is a great choice but very heavy on gas with not a lot of power, hard on tires and brakes.
International Harvester made some great SUV's as well, that are a great size, but the 307 V8 is very low in power and parts could be hard to come by.
Vintage Suburbans are very big, almost too big.
The very best choice for me would be an ICON Landcruiser or Bronco; fantastic modern drivetrains but yet very simple vehicles that are true to their ancestors; however they are very, very pricey.
If it were me I would find a great custom shop and get a modern EFI crate engine into a IH Scout or Scout II. Find a modern Dana axle set with disc brakes all around and enjoy. Be prepared to spend almost as much, or more than a brand new vehicle to do the conversion properly.
At the end of the day you still won't have the reliability, comfort, parts availability, serviceability and safety that a modern vehicle has in spades over the ancients.......but I totally understand your dilemma.