Road Trips

[ROBERT CROSS]

Hello all..

I dropped in to catch up and have been sitting here misty for the last half hour.
'Fado' left us last July 4th
I don't really know why I took the photo that night, it had been the same evening routine for several months now.
Even though he couldn't get around on his own he didn't mind being carried to do what was needed. He had a good appetite for the exercise he was getting, although he had lost about 20lbs,
He was alert, eyes bright and still giving the beijos.
Sandra had been staying with him every night, sleeping on the couch next to his bed, this night seemed no different.
She woke me at 2am and said he had crossed the Bridge.
He would have been 16 in September, every year giving much more than he got back, last August he sent us 'Pirate'..."Where are your Buccaneers? Under my buck'n hat!" 🏴*☠️

Bob, Sandra, Pirate and Mom's cat Misty

[ROBERTSUNRUS]

Hi, I will keep this short and somewhat painless for me. Since we bought our first house in 1981 we had two dogs. [they passed] Later we had two more dogs. [they passed] We decided that we would live pet-less from now on. But after my parents passed, Dusty needed a home and new parents. So we let him adopt us. After 19.5 years old, with 6 of those years spent with us, we are pet-less again and plan to stay that way for now. Maybe, maybe, when we are unable to travel anymore, we might get another dog. I have already made it clear that if we have any pets that out live us that one of my relatives will take care of it/them like we did for Dusty.

Note: Dusty lived in four houses. Long Beach house, Lakewood house, Salem house, and Airstream house.

[rmkrum]

I keep finding rescue dogs, or they keep finding me somehow. A few have lived very long lives, others not. In all cases, they have touched our lives. It’s hard to have a relatively short-lived animal give so much love to you, then have to depart. It’s tough to deal with, but then the emptiness without a dog or cat in your life is harder. We are dog people, and still mourn the ones that have passed, but we persist, because there is nothing quite so comforting as the love of a dog that climbs on your lap, gently gazes into your eyes, and ‘says’ I love you, then settles down with a gentle sigh for a nap. We have a couple rescued Malti-po buddies that are lap magnets. I’m still not sure who rescued who...

[Gene]

Thank you all for your support. You are members of my therapy support group.

We will see if we can get him in a cat carrier without too much trauma for all three of us. Otherwise, we can have a vet come here tomorrow afternoon and that will also scare Sable/Spike. No good outcomes. He continues the decline with a little blood in his urine this morning. He valiantly tries to get in the cat box, but mostly doesn’t make it and cleaning up urine many times a day does get to you.

[Hittenstiehl]

Sorry for what you both are going thru.

We recently had to put a cat to sleep and found a young vet who came to the house to perform the procedure. We hope it was lots less stressful for the cat that the trip to the vet would have been.

[ROBERT CROSS]

This makes perfect sense...

Bflo
Bob
🇺🇸

[Gene]

It has been done. I went into the bathroom with the warmer floor where he was staying all morning and last night. I scratched his neck for a long time and held him closely. He never struggled and let me do anything—he was never like that with me before. I am the only man he has ever let touch him (except vets who know how to manhandle cats). Barb came in with a big pillowcase and after I had settled him down for about 15 minutes, we
put the pillowcase over him and he let me lift him into it. Unlike every other time we’ve had to trap him to take him to a vet, he did not struggle. Then we put him into the carrier and he did not struggle. Usually he has worked his way out of the pillowcase, but this time he was too weak, so I reopened the door and got him out of the pillowcase. He did not try to get away. His eyes were wide open and he looked out of the carrier and I kept scratching his neck. If you saw him, he looked alert and fine in the carrier. But outlside he looked awful. He was down to 6.8 lbs, despite cleaning him, his fur was matted, lots of dandruff, skin and bones. He was a very fastidious cat before. Two weeks ago he was running up and down stairs faster than either of us.

We drove into Grand Junction and when we got to the vet, they examined him (no real need for that, but I wasn’t about to complain right then). We settled him down and he sort of wanted to jump off the table and be normal. They pumped him full of a cocktail including an anesthetic and opioids so he couldn’t feel the final shot to stop his heart. After about 5-7 minutes he was unresponsive and almost looked dead though he was still breathing. Barb wanted to leave then and we did. We decided to have him cremated and let them spread the ashes. The ground is frozen here and under 5” of snow and it would be hard to dig and cry at the same time. For $20+ they will take a paw print and for more they will return the ashes and charge even more. Sort of like a funeral home, but they were very nice and caring, so I kept my thoughts to myself.

Barb is cleaning up things to keep busy and not think about it every moment. I can barely get through things at times. There are a lot of tears here today.

This was my 7th dead companion and it never gets better. He was the best cat I ever had. We had a weird relationship, but what can you expect from a cat and a weird old man? The house will feel empty for a while. Most of my life and most of Barb’s adult life we have had dogs and cats. We have no plans for another. We seek a simpler life now as life slows down and that feels just right.

Thanks again for your support.

[ROBERT CROSS]

RIP...♾
A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to "Where do pets come from?"

Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us."

And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves."

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.

And it was a good animal.

And God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.

And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."

And God said, " I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him
DOG."
And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.

And they were comforted.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well"

And God said, I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration"

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve

And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.

And Adam and Eve learned humility.

And they were greatly improved.


And God was pleased

And Dog was happy.


And Cat didn't give a damn one way or the other.

Bob
🇺🇸
Smile & remember.
BTW I sent an email, did it arrive ?
  *

[Gene]

Bob,

I can’t remember receiving an email in the last few days, but my memory is not clear right now. Was it a PM or an email outside of the Forum system?

Thanks for the story and it does show the parts cats and dogs play in our lives. I constantly am looking for him so as not to step on him, listen for him, roll a tennis ball at him (he never much cared about tennis balls, but he sometimes let me play with them so I would be entertained). A new year, a new way of living for us, and another chapter begins.

[ROBERT CROSS]

I'll send again...if you don't get it I'll PM.

Bob
🇺🇸

[Jim & Susan]

Hawai'i is such a lovely, lovely place. Susan and I found that Kaua'i was the most beautiful and peaceful of all the islands, maybe of any place we have visited. Completely unlike the more commercialized islands to the south. Life is much slower there. Enjoyable. A different world from your beloved SouthWest, fabulous none-the-less. A destination not to be missed.

Sleep well, Spike.

Jim

[Gene]

Hawai'i is the only state we haven't been too. Even though we each had been to lots of states and provinces, since we've been together we have been to each province and state together (except Hawai'i). it has been quite an experience. And now, we are looking closer to home just as we did when we started our joint journey in 1986. Then, with working, we took long weekends to spread vacation time over the year. We'd backpack or come to see the Anasazi ruins and art plus national parks in Utah—backpacking ended long ago as my knees protested too much. We don't fly—even cattle don't enjoy treated badly, and we certainly don't. The causeway to Hawai'i seems not to have been built (nor a tunnel). Repositioning cruises are sometimes the only other way to get there (except for yacht owners). I'm not sure I'd like a cruise ship. We are very much the independent travelers. With cruises, you have to pay more for excursions of each island. It seems cruises are organized around shopping and at least some cruise lines get kickbacks from shops they recommend on land. In some cases, surcharges and tips and fees can add up to more than the basic cost. I've got better things to do with my money. I will continue to eat pineapple, however.

In our almost 33 years, we have had companions for 27. And, of course, more years before separately. When Barb's dog died, the same emptiness in the house gradually disappeared. It is less today than yesterday. Lots of stories about the cat go through our minds and last night we talked about him for a long time before we fell asleep. We talked about the dog, May May (named by Barb after a character in a novel about Hong Kong) too. The dog was a chow and pretty gentle for a chow. They are not very playful and tend to be one person dogs. May May accepted me right away, though she would test me a few times and I had to establish myself as the A male. Chows were the dogs of Chinese royalty and they seem to believe they are royalty too. They are beautiful and 50% fur. I could have made many blankets of her fur if I knew how to spin and weave.

We have thought about how we first had a catlike dog and then a doglike cat. Of course, May May was really a dog and Sable/Spike was really a cat. But, still...

Every day has a little more light. Gradually the cat things disappear. Each is hard to remove and we will store them just in case we change our minds. I am very glad people are much more understanding than they used to be that the loss of a pet or companion (a better word I think) really hurts. There was time people thought they were replaceable, not to be mourned, etc. I'm glad many more recognize they are family members. The law has always been they are chattels (personal property) and their value if a neighbor kills your companion is minimal. The law is very slowly changing, but we have a ways to go. Living in and near rural areas, we are also aware of ranchers who shoot any companion they see on their property immediately and show no remorse. That is changing slowly too and prosecutors are more likely to act in cases of animal cruelty. I know people should keep their companions from other people's property, especially if damage to that property may happen, but some balancing of the interests is necessary.

For days we were on death watch trying to keep him comfortable, but he decided what was comfortable and we just facilitated a bit. He was a cat after all and was going to do what he wanted. Though cats are very much independent, when vulnerable some do show trust and let us help them. His docility the last few days was unusual, but he was always gentle with us, but then the docility extended to allowing us to do anything with him. I kind of thought, "he really does like me". Reading a cat's mind is difficult, but not futile. Glad to be past death watch and now on life watch.

[rmkrum]

Gene, DW, daughter and I made several trips to Hawaii. A slight seat upgrade on Hawaiian Airlines is both reasonable and very comfortable. We found the cabin service to be very nice, and they are one airline that still treats and feeds their passengers well.

Might be worth considering. We enjoyed several trips and had fun exploring Oahu, the North Shore, and the Honolulu area. Pearl Harbor reeks of history and has some great attractions.

Admittedly, food isn't cheap, but we went to farmer's markets, out of the way restaurants, and had many great meals at reasonable prices. Best way to explore Oahu is to rent a car and grab some maps--then just wander.

[Gene]

Rich, thanks for the idea. The last time I flew 20 years ago (except some flightseeing in Alaska and the NWT) I spent many hours locked in a plane at Dallas. The other 3 flights on that trip were pretty bad too. I had had enough. I don’t know what to bring where and I could learn, but am not motivated. I also don’t like paying and then being nickeled and dimed by airlines and being groped by TSA. It seems like everyone is accepting these travesties in all areas of life and then directing their frustrations at each other, the government and everything else. Maybe I’m just a grumpy old man, but I’m ok with that. My wife thinks I would be arrested when TSA went too far or they groped her. She may be right. She doesn’t want to fly either. And if she really wanted to, I guess I would try it, but bring bail money. If that happens, I’ll keep Hawai’i airlines in mind. Nice to know not every US airline hates its customers

Bob, I got your PM and have replied to your emails twice. Not sure what happened to my replies. The gist of my replies is that we go to my father-in-law’s birthday in late Sept. We have some latitude on the dates earlier or later. Let us know when you are to be in the neighborhood and we can figure out possibilities. Our calendar fills up quickly several months ahead. Doctor appointments seem to take more and more time, fun less and less.

[Gene]

Last night one of Barb's aunts died. She was 95. Neither of us were close to her, so this doesn't hit that hard. Another of her aunt's, on the other side the family, died in November. We were not close to her either. It started in August when a friend died and it slowed down a bit, but we were averaging friends and relatives dying about every two weeks for months. Barb's mother is very aware she is the last of her generation of siblings. All these deaths causes the inevitable reassessment of our lives which we have been doing. That's perhaps harder than friends and relatives and companions dying.

I have noticed that there are fewer funerals and services than there used to be. Cremation seems to take time in some places and by then people are resuming their lives. The aunt who died in Texas in November was cremated and the state apparently makes return of the ashes very slow, taking as long as a month. We are told there will be "services" some time in the future, but often there aren't. There is some relief in that because dropping everything (instead of work that now means doctor's appointments) isn't necessary. But the grieving process can't be ignored, though people have tried for millennia to do just that. A funeral helps keep the process going. Every effort to avoid grieving only results in the process being delayed and sometimes the results come out in weird and not good ways. I've been to a couple of orthodox Jewish funerals—the starkness of the plain pine box and the lack of embellishments make it all the more real. It hurts, but the hurt is there whether or not people feel it.

When the services are for someone in Barb's family who she is not close to, we go for the family (since Barb is my family, I go for her). What I think of as old fashioned funerals with the expensive casket, embellished funeral notices in the newspaper, all possible options, receptions, all costing upwards of $10,000, are not my style. The first one I can remember (for a close friend who died of cancer in Kansas in 1970 or '71 at age 30) like that and I was struck by the ways to avoid reality including not lowering there casket into the grave until after everyone left. Where was the closure on that phase of the process? I wrote several years ago about Barb's grandmother's funeral in a very old Catholic adobe church in a little New Mexico town and then burial in a barren and windy old desert cemetery outside of town. I told Barb to make it simple, she can do anything she wants with my ashes and I reminded her not to scatter them on a windy day. Have a party at home and do not be afraid to cry anytime you have to. Save your money, you'll need it someday and I won't. Make close friends and stay in touch with family—everyone needs others as they age.

Well, this thread has turned into the death thread instead of road trips. Maybe I should change it to "life trips" since death is part of life and road trips are part too.

Barb put a picture of Sable/Spike in the great room yesterday. He was young and muscular and probably weighed a lot more than before he died. He was standing on a railing of our deck in Crawford. I can't look at it yet without starting to fall apart. I guess it will be barometer of when the grieving has ended. I have a photo of the dog I had almost 40 years ago when she was a puppy. When I see it, I miss her—she was the best, smartest, loving-est, funniest dog I have had. I have had friends write me that they don't want another animal because they don't want to go through the loss again. I understand, but as one wrote, if you don't, you miss out on a lot of love and fun.

I sure want to make a road trip and not a funeral trip and put my head somewhere else. Time to stay home and that is fine. Bears Ears NM calls, but we can't answer that "phone" right now.

[Gene]

It is snowing! After last winter's drought, we have had snow for the past few weeks—looks like about 15" so far since December. Not the massive amounts we were used to years ago on the Front Range, but welcome. Had at lest 2" last night and the snowblower is calling. I rather not take the call, but have to to keep the snow from building up. Typically snow here comes in 1-3" at a time and then freezes hard on top, then another layer, on and on, but with frequent melting periods compressing it too. It has been a wet snow and I had to get a running start up on bare pavement (the road) when I drove down to get the paper—never had to do that before. Our knees make walking up and down the driveway kind of touchy, so I drive down and up. Barb slipped weeks ago going down to get the paper and has a swelling above her knee that hasn't resolved, so she doesn't want to risk falling again.

Right now the clouds covering Grand Junction have expanded and we are surrounded by them—or fog—depends on your point of view. They or it is thin—I can see patches of blue above. it is sort of like looking out an airplane window as you fly through clouds. Since I'm up in the clouds while on the ground, I am looking for all that internet stuff stored in the cloud, but can't see it yet. I wonder where the porn section is?

We are still looking for the cat and reminiscing, but it is getting easier as we knew it would. There will always be memories.

[Gene]

Leaving black things on the floor leads to cat sightings. The small canister vacuum is a prime offender. Sometimes any thing that has been moved into a spot causes a sighting. It gets easier and though there have efforts by friends to convince us we need a companion, we are holding strong.

Waiting for rain or snow tonight. Winter rain in Colorado started in the '80's on rare occasions, but now it is more common. Snow slowly melts into the ground, rain tends to run off, especially with frozen ground, so snow it best. Rain turns the snow packed driveway to ice, an unwelcome adventure.

Unwanted travel happens in 3 weeks. Another funeral service. We combine it with seeing friends and taking care of other business in Denver. Barb's aunts and uncles are dying off. She once had 10 (not counting spouses), now has 2.

But life is calmer and things are moving along. The kitchen is finished (except for a plywood door that warped and I am working on) and we are getting ready for the master bath. Thinking about spring travel to see more ancient ruins and art in southern Utah.

[Gene]

February snow totals are far more than last year and even quite a bit above average. Hooray for El Niño! While were away, it looks like another 4" fell and to be safe, put the FJ in low 4wd drive and went up the driveway yesterday and no problem. Used the snowblower this morning and am now crippled for a few hours. We made a quick trip (3 nights) to Denver for a funeral. Travel across the mountains was dry and easy, but while in Denver we got about 7 or 8" Friday evening. We had to drive from southeast Denver to Lakewood and that should take 30 minutes, it took 1:15. Denver had about 400,000 people when I arrived 41 years ago, close to half a million by 2000, and now is over 700,000. The street system is essentially the same and now traffic is awful. Apparently many new people come from places without snow and they like to drive around when it snows. They get stuck and the rest of us have to drive around them. We saw numerous plows when we drive to meet out friend at a restaurant, but apparently they dissolve after being out for a short time, because coming back, the roads were full of thick slush and snow. Denver is not known for great plowing, but it seemed worse than ever.

We now avoid Denver and like everyone who remembers the smaller and more accessible city of years ago, complain a lot. If you grew up in a big city with horrible traffic and poor parking options, Denver may seem normal. We got to see the friends remaining in Denver and that was good. However, we usually meet them at restaurants and all of the restaurants seem exceptionally noisy. I am told millennials like that—music in the background and hard, modern surface treatments reflecting and amplifying noise are best of you never talk to anyone and only text through dinner. The funeral itself was an example how family myths are created. Neither of us remember the person being eulogized since all the negatives were ignored (and there were a lot) and the myth was created. We did the right thing and so be it.

Two months to Bluff and less before we make a Pueblo visit. Be glad to get on the road and a bathroom to work on in the meantime.

[Gene]

We have had lots of snow and rain lately—it was so cloudy and rainy for the past month, I felt like I was back in the northeast. We have more than twice the normal precipitation for the year. Last year we were in severe drought. The year before spring was very wet. Radical swings of climate are not unusual for Colorado, but this is getting crazy. Looking forward to floods in a few months.

A month to travel to Utah, less for a trip to see the in-laws. Now have reservations and have one more for a one night stop between Montrose and Ouray. The Ouray hot springs pool is (I think) free for those 75 and over. I guess I can't pass that up.

Been working on the master bath. We've painted it and I build a new countertop and tiled it. Then installed new vessel sinks and faucets and am tiling the surround with subway tile. Also put in the wiring for new sconces. I am moving slower and slower and losing my taste for perpetual remodeling, but will finish phase two. Ready to travel soon.

[Gene]

We travel in 9 days. We took the roof cover off. Only had two more holes and a broken clip. Adco may owe me a new one and I'll have to look into that.

It has been snowing and raining here a lot. We have twice the normal precipitation compared to average for this year and almost set a record for March. We love it because it means water in our well and less chance of fires. Last year was scary because of fires. Our well was fine and appears to be a very good one in an area where lots of people either have poor wells or expensive dry holes. The year before had several month periods of lots of snow. While Colorado always has weather than is neither normal nor average, over months or years, you can see the weather is getting warmer and more quickly changeable. Our trips to Bears Ears NM and Bluff, Utah, require dry roads in the backcountry. Utah clay is like wet cement and will adhere to tires several inches deep. Only chains help when it is like that. I do not want to buy chains. You can get bias ply mud tires, but the cleats don't seem deep enough for that stuff. So I don't know what it will be like by the end of the month. Letting air out helps, but the mud is like glue.

First we go see my in-laws and may stop near Ouray and use the town hot springs. If you are over 75, it is free. That makes it a lot cheaper than Orvis even though I like Orvis better. On the 23rd we leave for Bluff for two weeks. And in June we travel back to Pueblo, pick up Barb's parents and they come here for two weeks. I don't know if they have ever left their home for that long in decades. That should be interesting.

I expect we'll make some other trips. I have little idea except for another visit with in-laws and some travel to Santa Fe, maybe Taos and no idea what else.

Meanwhile phase II of the bathroom remodel is finished and we think it came out great. We painted after fixing a lot of wall blemishes caused by poor drywall finishing, put in new switch and receptacle plates (we think you get a lot of design upgrade for the buck from nicer plates than with white plastic ones), a new countertop (tiled), new vessel sinks and faucets, subway tile surrounding up about 4', three light sconces for a gentle light, and the Mexican mirrors we already had. That took about two months of intense effort ending with a head cold for some sort of justice I suppose. The rest of the bathroom—maybe someday. Painting in the basement seems next.

All the snow has melted (maybe a few clumps on the north side of a tree, but that's it). It snowed a while ago for a while, bit it was too warm for it to stick. It also rained on and off. The clouds are beginning to look like summer clouds. We are used to winter lasting to May or later from living in the mountains just west of Denver, so this "early" spring is still disconcerting. Maybe we will have an extraordinary wildflower year like Cal. is having. It is probably a good spring to visit Death Valley. Maybe we will have floods from all the snow on mountain tops—if it rains a lot, snow melt could be accelerated. That usually doesn't happen, but it can.

I can't wait to travel, but can wait to summerize the trailer. That attitude has to change soon. The truck is pushing 127,000 miles and running like new. I just had to replace an oxygen sensor (the last of four) and clean our the carbon from the exhaust system. After years of virtually no maintenance except oil changes and grease, it seems like a lot. Toyota owners are never satisfied. The Nash has been easier to get ready for travel than the Airstream was. Just sanitizing the water system is much easier because the drains work faster and are much easier to access. I guess I'll start tomorrow, maybe.